Bradley Grimes: Sam Donaldson gets Diane Sawyer. I get Excedrin the entertainer.

Wanda Mildred Hawkins: Thats so cute. You trying to insult me is like watching a dog trying to work a doorknob.

Roger: All right, thats it! Wanda, my office!

Bradley Grimes: Roger, just toss her out the window. I'm sure that mouth will break her fall.

Jenny Hawkins: You know, if you softened up a bit, you might have a date, too, and then you wouldn't have to ask out your sister-in-law.

Wanda Mildred Hawkins: I'm so cute, and cuddly, they want to test cosmetics on me.

Wanda Mildred Hawkins: I must be dating the wrong guys. I should get wooden shoes as many times I've gone dutch.

Roger: Great show, everybody. Don't forget, I'll see you tonight at the D.C. Broadcast Awards. I really think we're gonna win one this year.

Rita Dahlberg: We'd better. I paid $800 for the shoes I'm wearing, and they're getting on stage even if I have to throw them up there.