Mr. & Mrs. Smith (2005)
Vince Vaughn: Eddie
Photos
Quotes
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Eddie : You gotta take this bitch out!
John Smith : [while taking burned pieces of papers out of a portable furnace to look for clues] Don't tell me how to handle my wife.
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Eddie : [sitting in front of John in a diner] Tell me you got smart and that you killed that lying bitch.
Jane Smith : [turns around her chair at the bar] This lying bitch?
Eddie : Guess that was just wishful thinking.
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Eddie : Did you get a look at him?
John Smith : Little thing. Buck ten, buck fifteen tops.
Eddie : Maybe he was Filipino!
John Smith : I'm not even sure it was a him.
Eddie : You saying you had your ass handed to you by some girl?
John Smith : I think so. A pro.
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John Smith : What's new?
Eddie : Same old. People need killing.
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Eddie : [awoken by a message with a job offer of $400,000] Tempting but I don't get out of bed for less than half a million dollars.
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[on living with his mother]
Eddie : She cooks and cleans. And *I'm* the dummy?
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Eddie : I live with my mom because I choose to. She's the only woman I've ever trusted.
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Eddie : [in Eddie's kitchen] This broad is not your wife, she's the enemy.
John Smith : She tried to kill me.
Eddie : They all try to kill you. Slowly, painfully, cripplingly, and then wham. They hurt you. How you going to handle it?
John Smith : [holding an assault rifle, walking past the door] I'm going to borrow this.
Eddie : I like where your head's at, man.
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Eddie : Are you saying you had your ass handed to you by some girl?
John Smith : I think so.
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Eddie : [in a diner] Did you get any other details on her besides her weight class?
John Smith : [mumbles while chewing food] Laptop
Eddie : I'm sorry? You're in the whole zone right now- I'm having a hard time talkin' to ya.
John Smith : [swallows and says louder] Laptop!
Eddie : OK. Laptop.
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John Smith : You live with your mother.
Eddie : [offended] Why would you bring her into this, she happens to be a first class lady!
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Eddie : [at the diner] Well this shouldn't be that difficult, I mean how many chicks are hitters out there? Ya know what I mean?
Breakfast Diner Waitress : You guys want any dessert?
Eddie : What do ya have honey?
Breakfast Diner Waitress : Ice cream...
Eddie : Ice cream? That sounds delicious, what flavors d'ya have?
Breakfast Diner Waitress : Chocolate and Vanilla...
Eddie : I don't like either of those, separately, but maybe mixed together, that could be... a nice lil dish, you know what I mean? And not just a little pink spoon, a like the whole sundae...
[winks to the waitress]
Breakfast Diner Waitress : Could be arranged...
[walks off]
Eddie : Perfect...
[to John]
Eddie : Could be arranged, d'ya hear that? Like to have her kick my ass... d'ya know what I mean?
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John Smith : I'm in love. She's smart, sexy. She's uninhibited, spontaneous, complicated. She's the sweetest thing I've ever seen.
Eddie : I knew Gladys two and a half years before I asked her to marry me. You have to have a foundation of friendship, brother. The other stuff fades.
