Clarence Pool: See, I look at him, I'd wanna be him so bad - I mean, Elvis looked *good*. I mean, I'm no fag, but Elvis was good-lookin'.

[sigh]

Clarence Pool: I always said, you know, if, if I ever, I - had to fuck a guy? I mean, had to 'cause like, my life depended on it? I'd fuck Elvis.

Clifford: Your ass is grass, and I'm the lawnmower.

Oliver Brandon: I see you like Elvis, huh? Yeah, that's nice, that's nice. I got an aunt that likes Elvis.

Oliver Brandon: [coming out of Mickey's bathroom, covering his nose] Man, whoo! Talk about dropping a cheese bomb!

[sniff]

Oliver Brandon: I wouldn't go in there for about an hour if I was you.

Clarence Pool: I am in Hell!

Lenny Otis: Are you alright?

Clarence Pool: 911!