Nip/Tuck (2003–2010)

Julian McMahon: Dr. Christian Troy

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Christian Troy : Sorry I'm late.

  Miss Wentworth : Have a seat, Mr. McNamara.

  Christian Troy : It's Troy. Dr. Christian Troy.

  Miss Wentworth : I'm confused. I thought you were his father.

  Christian Troy : I am. I'm his, uh, biological father.

  Matt McNamara : I have 2 dads.

  Miss Wentworth : Well, was there a divorce? Oh, got it. 2 dads. Emily Willis has 2 momies. We're seeing more and more of this.

  Christian Troy : Matt's father is my partner, Dr. Sean McNamara.

  Miss Wentworth : I understand.

  Matt McNamara : They're not gay, Miss Wentworht. My Mom slept with Christian before she married my Dad.

  Adrian Moore : Technically, I don't have any father figures, but Matt's living in my house and screwing my Mom, so I pretend he's my Dad.

  Ava Moore : It's true, Miss Wentworth. Matt and I are lovers. I was his life coach.

  Adrian Moore : You see, Matt has a problem. He's a premature ejaculator.

  Miss Wentworth : Ok, enough. I deal with dysfunctional families on a daily basis. And trust me, everyone has a story, and none of you are that special.

• Christian Troy : You had no right to fire my nanny.

  Gina Russo : I don't want my child around cheap common whores.

  Christian Troy : He's around you all the time. Oh correction, you're an expensive whore.

• Christian Troy : None of us get out alive. Now you can huddle in a group and face it one day at a time, or you could be grateful that when your body rubs against someone else's, it explodes with enough pleasure that you can forget, even for a minute, that you're only a walking pile of ashes.

• Christian Troy : You didn't have an orgasm, is that right?

  Grace Santiago : Not a shudder.

  Christian Troy : You're a liar. I rode you like a triple crown jockey, and you came.

  Grace Santiago : Get out of my face right now.

  Christian Troy : I counted each contraction. Three times. Or were you doing your Kegel exercises?

  Grace Santiago : [whispers]  Lock the door.

• Christian Troy : Can I buy you a drink?

  Kimberly Henry : I don't drink.

  Christian Troy : May I buy you an appetizer?

  Kimberly Henry : I don't eat. I'm a model.

• Sean McNamara : Remember, We're treating a patient here, not just a vagina.

  Christian Troy : That's easy for you to say. You've never been with Vagina Gina.

• Christian : [in reference to the vandalizing of his car]  I'm serious, I felt violated. The last time I felt like this was back in the early 90s when some girl shoved her finger up my butt with no warning.

• Christian Troy : I think I work better on women I've screwed. Once you've seen a woman's cumface, you've seen her soul.

• Sean McNamara : Matt's having trouble at school, and he told you this?

  Christian Troy : He's torn up. I guess he was showering in gym and shit and some tough guys were laughing at him and calling him AntEater.

  Sean McNamara : AntEater?

  Christian Troy : Basically, he's self-conscious about his dick, and he wants a circumcision.

  Sean McNamara : He doesn't need a circumcision. That's a vanity operation.

  Christian Troy : We're in the vanity business, Sean. It's what we do. Appearance is everything to a kid. It's how you fit in. Snip, snip, he feels better about himself, and you, sir, can make that happen. How cool is fatherhood?

  Sean McNamara : I'm not doing anything to my son's penis or my wife's breasts. I don't want my family infected by what we do here.

• Christian Troy : [addressing a competing plastic surgeon who's wearing a white suit]  Merrill. You look like a Q-Tip.

• [in a bar where industrial music is playing, Christian moves in on a younger woman] 

  Christian Troy : Would you believe the shit that passes for music these days?

  25 Year Old Woman : You should come here Wednesdays, it's oldies night.

• Christian : The line that divides the porn industry and the plastic surgery is a thin one. We're both selling fantasy, aren't we?

• Salesman : You liked Gina before she conceived, you're gonna love her now, she's a tigress!

  Christian Troy : Did you screw her?

  Salesman : Well... yeah. She told me about your guys situation, I thought you were cool!

  Christian Troy : [shoves salesman]  You're bragging to me about banging the mother of my unborn child, and you think I'm cool with that? What kind of sick freak are you?

  Salesman : She told me you weren't together!

  Christian Troy : What's the difference? That's my god damn child you're poking at!

  Salesman : She was just so lonely and beautiful. You can't see it, but I can!

  Christian Troy : [knocks salesman down]  Cancel my order! Stay away from my kid!

• Christian : [about Dr. Santiago]  She's a troublemaker and her shoes are cheap.

• Sean McNamara : Are you saying that I have your ineptitude to thank for my success?

  Christian Troy : No, you have my 10 inch dick to thank.

• Gina Russo : What's the matter, Christian, not turned on by pregnant women?

  Christian Troy : No, just not turned on by you.

• [during an operation] 

  Sean McNamara : You're shaving too deep.

  Christian Troy : It's fine.

  Sean McNamara : Do you want it fine or do you want it perfect?

• Christian Troy : Ever notice how "monogamy" rhymes with "monotony"?

• Christian Troy : I'm a wildly successful plastic surgeon and I have a 33-inch waist. I'm a superhero, so now I'm going to put my cape back on and get back out there.

• Christian Troy : If you'll excuse me I'm going upstairs to pay somebody to pretend they like me.

• Christian Troy : [In reference to a woman who was on the schedule to have her lips, which were burnt off, rebuilt using skin from her vagina. However, Sean removed her citing concerns over her husband, whom she says doesn't go down on women and might find out where the skin came from]  I'm putting pussy lips back on the schedule!