We Don't Live Here Anymore (2004) User Reviews (80)

A delicate, visceral, and emotionally draining melodrama

[Chris_Docker · 7/10 · 28 June 2005]

A serious and emotionally engaging melodrama that tells of two marriages, of love, friendship, adultery, faithfulness, parenting, and the delicate balance between being true to the spirit within and being responsible about the consequences in the real world.

Mark Ruffalo and Peter Krause play two college tutors of English literature, working away and also trying to get published in their own right in their spare time. They are close buddies and have loving, beautiful wives (Naomi Watts and Laura Dern). We have four 'ordinary people' who are far from caricatures – they have sensitivities, intelligence, emotional aspiration and weakness as they struggle with their own stymied abilities to find happiness and fulfilment – both for themselves and the ones they love.

We Don't Live Here Anymore looks at the reality of marriage in a less than rose-tinted light. The performances by Watts and Dern shine forth with increasing emotional intensity, and the efforts of their husbands to stage-manage some sort of acceptable compromise ricochet on the fringes of a dark despair that forever looms and threatens to engulf everyone. As the characters realise their increasingly complex shenanigans are verging on disaster, it leads them to ever deeper self-examination of their true feelings. And yet sometimes the children have a greater realisation of what's going on than do their parents. The film's closing scene ("Because I can") reminds us that the element of choice, true and ongoing, is so often lacking in marriage, sometimes even in relatively small things – once marriage has been consummated, the rest becomes duty – and infidelity is often driven by compulsion - so the elements of ongoing freewill (jointly and singly) can be hard to find.

This movie has been compared to Closer and rightly so – it is for mature, thinking audiences who can come to terms with deep imperfections and use the depths of what it takes to be truly human to make things better (or find a way forward that has emotionally honesty). The 'moral right' will dismiss both films – not so much out of a sense of superiority ('adultery never pays') but simply through lack of understanding.

The heavy-going nature of the film is alleviated by shots of rare beauty in the surrounding countryside, elegantly photographed, and by the playfulness of the several children. Watts (nearly 38 but still looking 24) and Dern (who appears older, but attractive in a very different way) each show elements of femininity that their characters are desperate to satisfy – the need to be wanted and the need to be loved. To appreciate the film it is necessary to see the scenarios from both the viewpoints of the women and of the men. Everybody cares about the kids. Beyond that, the love that is expected of the spouse is at odds with the love that they try to give, so they all feel like 'objects' to their respective partners. The lack of understanding breaks down into infidelity, which (so the film might argue) can almost be a healing balm. "It's much easier living with a woman who feels loved", remarks a cuckolded husband. It's a film where no-one has all the answers (though not for want of trying) and so in some ways a testament to humanity. Sadly, many will see it as just another cynical take on dysfunctional relationships, but the open minded viewer may find a lot more, for this film is a well-made (if not exceptional) work of art that contributes more to the understanding of the human condition than any cutesy, idealised portrayal of happy families.

Indiscretions of American lives

[anhedonia · 6/10 · 18 December 2004]

Watch this as a double-bill with Mike Nichols' "Closer," and you very well might swear off love, relationships and marriage for a very long time, if not forever.

The last screenwriter I'd expect to write a somber, almost Bergmanesque exploration of marriage and infidelity would be Larry Gross, whose credits include "48 HRS." (1982) and "Streets of Fire" 1984) for Walter Hill and "True Crime" (1999) for Clint Eastwood.

Yet Gross has turned two Andre Dubus short stories into an engaging, albeit somewhat depressing, movie that explores marital infidelities among two couples - Jack (Mark Ruffalo) and Terry Linden (Laura Dern); and Hank (Peter Krause) and Edith Evans (Naomi Watts).

Much like the Nichols film, "We Don't Live Here Anymore" can be tough viewing, at times. Uncomfortable, even occasionally painful. But the actors make it work, often lifting it above trite moments. Director John Curran keeps things tight and gets emotionally powerful performances from them. Though, the film would have smarted more had Krause injected some rawness into his role. Hank seems too laid-back about the whole affair and Krause's performance never inches past insouciant.

Dern throws herself fully into her strongest role since "Citizen Ruth" (1996). As a wife who's apparently lost the desire of her husband and really has little interest in housework, Dern does well to keep Terry from turning into a broad caricature. She makes Terry sad without turning her pathetic. A bedroom confrontation with Jack doesn't veer into clichés only because Dern and Ruffalo bring such brutal honesty to their roles.

Watts seems to revel in playing emotionally devastated women. Here, she throws in selfishness, to boot. Watts makes it awfully difficult for us to like Edith because she's the most manipulative of the lot. That we wind up caring about her speaks highly of Watts' acting ability.

The Lindens and the Evanses might very well take narcissism to a new level. These thoroughly self-absorbed people don't really care about the infidelity. In fact, they're so blasé about it all, you wonder if anything at all would jolt them into feeling something for someone else.

When Edith asks Jack, "How do you think we'll get caught?" she's not so much worried about her husband finding about the affair than her friend, Terry. And it's in delving into the Terry-Edith dynamic that Gross' script fails. We hear that these two women are dearest friends. Yet, we never get that feeling from watching them together. In fact, Gross never really gives either Dern or Watts, two incredible talents, the chance to play off each other. Their few scenes together barely scratch the surface of any friendship Terry and Edith might have.

True, there's nothing really sympathetic about any of these four people. I doubt redemption's around the corner, either. But the way they claw at each other's emotions, occasionally fraying themselves, as they lie and cheat, and even tell the truth, to their loved ones, makes for compelling viewing.

"We Don't Live Here Anymore" shows a side of marriage that movies, certainly American movies, rarely dare to depict. Marriage isn't easy. For many, it can be terribly hard work. Sometimes, painful and difficult work. And that's what this film shows.

You can't really say you enjoyed watching this movie, but it will linger with you long after you're done watching it; when you're stuck washing dirty dishes for the umpteenth time, picking up tossed-about laundry or suddenly realizing that your lover's quirk which you once thought was endearing and cute is now just positively irritating and infuriating.

A Thought-Provoking Film Experience!

[lavatch · 7/10 · 21 July 2005]

There was a Bergmanesque quality to "We Don't Live Here Any More," recalling the passionate stories and deep psychological insights into characters in the films of the Swedish auteur filmmaker. Like Bergman, director John Curran offered a sensitive touch to the film's deliberate style of pacing and the still moments where the characters seemed lost in thought.

The story of "We Don't Live Here Any More" focuses on two married couples in adulterous relationships. The physical environments helped to convey the essence of how mismatched the individual characters were in their marriages. The characters of Jack (Mark Ruffalo) and Edith (Naomi Watts) would have seemed much more at home in the cheerful and immaculate house. By contrast, Hank (Peter Krause) and Terry (Laura Dern) would have found a better fit in the cluttered, bohemian-style home. All four performances were moving and believable. From the film's opening scene, it was easy to see how the characters were propelled to one another.

This was not a perfect film. It would have been more true to life to focus on the emotional layers of characterization instead of the sex. For the most part, the four characters seemed like good parents, and it was difficult to imagine where they would find the time to set up their trysts and be away from home for protracted periods. The genius of Bergman was to tap into those deep layers of emotional pain, which seemed remarkably absent in this film. Instead of heading out into the forest or into the car, it would have been revealing to learn more about the characters' feelings in their own homes and in their own words.

Still, after viewing "We Don't Live Here Anymore," I found myself reflecting on the characters and the relationships many days later. And that is a sign of a good film!

A Disturbing Look At Fragile Relationships

[Chrysanthepop · 7 February 2009]

John Curran presents a very unsettling view on fragile relationships. At the centre of the story there are two married couples and from their interactions one can easily conclude that there was once a lot of love within the couples and a strong friendship between them and now, well in the case of Hank and Edith, the love is vanishing into thin air. Edith still yearns for Hank's love but Hank is too self-absorbed in his self-perceived failure and careless about his wife's infidelity. Terry still deeply loves Jack who is going through a mid-life crisis (like Hank) and finds comfort, both sexual and emotional, with Edith. At the center of their relationships are the children of the respective couples who are the most vulnerable ones. The film is a shocking portrayal of relationships and friendships that have reached a stage where indifference, obligation, guilt, loneliness and despair take over. Curran also adds some doses of humour that is subtle and welcoming (at the same time non-intrusive).

The cinematography is fantastic and editing is wonderful. I especially liked how the camera jumps from one character to another, showing what they are going through, during a constant time period. The score contributes to the gloominess but in a non-intrusive and non-melodramatic way. It is rather gentle and flowing smoothly.

'We Don't Live Here Anymore' showcases four exceptional performances. Ruffalo is both hateful and sympathetic as Jack. The remarkable Laura Dern is explosive and fiery as Terry. Her Terry is the strongest of the four and Dern is both gripping and haunting. Both Ruffalo and Dern benefit from well-defined roles (but even otherwise they are great actors as has been evident in their other movies) though there was the risk that had the roles been played by lesser actors, they could have easily become caricatures. However, the characters Hank and Edith depend more on the actor's performances. Naomi Watts shows immense depth through a wonderfully restrained performance while Peter Krause brilliantly downplays and brings a rawness to his part and his facial expressions speak volumes.

'We Don't Live Here Anymore' is certainly not a positive look at relationships. The friendship between the couple is strong and there is an understanding between them that shows that they care for each other. Notice in the later scene when Dern's Terry tries to comfort Watts's Edith and the chats between Hank and Jack are proof enough. Even though the words aren't said, they only know each other too well and maybe it is respect that is losing its hold and probably friendship will too. Curran's film tells a meaningful raw story that is honest, brutal, daring and unsympathetic to its characters.

provocative drama about discontents of married people

[antoniotierno · 7/10 · 2 May 2005]

Not a heart-wrenching film but illuminates with precision the dynamics of friendship, marriage and adultery. It shows a potent portrait of two couples whose marriages are going to break; has an enormous power and tells some uncomfortable truths. In this movie actions have consequences that are not resolved with a hug or a cry. The four grown-ups (as well as their children who are perfectly aware of the situation) are very talented and all deliver passionate and compulsive performances. The atmosphere lingering in the air is what impressed me the most, being the flick filled with very expressive glances and electrical silences. Mark Ruffalo and Naomi Watts always very gifted.

Changing partners

[jotix100 · 7/10 · 16 September 2004]

This is a difficult film to sit through. It presents a lot of morality issues that are unnerving. Andre Dubus' work always asked a lot of questions about human relations like the ones that are presented here from two of his short pieces.

It takes courage to take this material and bring it to the screen. Naomi Watts appears as one of the producers and she is to be congratulated even though we might be turned off by what we are watching. John Curran's directing the screen play from Larry Gross shows he has an eye for the material even though the pace is slow.

The actual victims of the affairs of Jack and Terry and Hank and Edith, are their children. It is obvious the two daughters are going to be scarred for life. They see and understand a lot more, than they might seem to, well beyond their young ages. In fact, it appears both girls know what their parents are doing.

It's easy to have an extra marital affair, but people entering into a relationship such as the quartet in this film do, have to realize they ultimately have to pay for their actions. Jack realizes it at the last moment. He knows he can't leave his son and daughter behind. Edith, on the other hand, had no problem continuing seeing Jack, as long as it was cool with him.

Hank, the young English teacher, whose poem is published by The New Yorker, lives in a fantasy world. We don't see him attached to his daughter Sharon, the same way we know Jack is to his children. He hits on the female students without any problems. He couldn't care less what his own wife is doing.

Terry, on the other hand, has to prove herself. She is a woman that has seen better days. Her beauty is fading and her house is a mess. On the other hand, Edith's house is spotless. These two women are going through a turmoil in their lives.

The only positive thing is what Jack goes through when he takes the children to the river and suddenly we don't know whether he wants to kill them, or not. The idea of losing them is what makes him, at long last, see the light. We also get to see a contrite Edith leaving with her daughter Sharon toward the train tracks; there is a hint of a possible suicide attempt, but no, she wants to start a new life and making a new start. Edith, also, realizes too late how she has harmed her daughter.

The acting is excellent. Mark Ruffalo keeps changing from film to film. He is an interesting actor no matter what a movie asks him to do. The real revelation is Laura Dern. Her Terry is a composite of women of a certain age that suddenly realize they are not going anywhere and they have made mistakes along the way, almost losing her husband and family. Peter Krause is also effective as Hank, the callous writer in love with himself. Naomi Watts is the one that doesn't fare as well. Her Edith is an enigma. She is a woman obsessed with sex with another man, but at times we don't see enough heat coming from her.

Ultimately, the two young girls that play the two daughters, Jennifer Bishop, and Haili Page make their characters seem real without doing much, which is an accomplishment.

Very honest

[tikawicz · 7/10 · 8 January 2005]

Throughout this movie, I felt as if I was watching a very honest struggle between the characters. It always amazes me how far people can go before they admit there is a problem. When Terry finally hears Jack speak of his infidelity, it hits her like a load of bricks and she finally realizes that it's over. I can see how people may find fault with all four main characters, but this is one of those rare movies where the filmmakers are not bent on having one "good" character, but rather focuses on honest characters that, in the end, have honest choices to make. Not a happy movie, but definitely a film that showcases great talent with honest characters.

A Terrible, Pointless Movie with a Wasted Cast

[evanston_dad · 1/10 · 2 June 2006]

A whole bunch of talent is wasted in this dismal film that wanders all over the place but goes nowhere.

Mark Ruffalo, Naomi Watts, Laura Dern....come on! If you've got a star roster like that and can't come up with anything better than this film, your right to make movies should be revoked. This is one of those films about a bunch of late-thirty-somethings who have too much time on their hands and spend all of it whining about how miserable they are. The problem is that none of them are likable, and we're not given any reason to care about any of them, so it's much like going to a party full of a bunch of people you don't know and will never see again, complaining about lives you know nothing about and will never need to. If I found myself at a party like that, I'd want to leave and go get ice cream or something, which is what I wanted to do while watching this movie.

Grade: F

Ferocious and Biting: Where "Bob & Carol and Ted & Alice" Wind Up in Reality

[lawprof · 9/10 · 14 August 2004]

Director John Curran's "We Don't Live Here Anymore" is a continuously sizzling, attention-holding drama about two couples - best friends - who are perched precariously in twisted relationships that threaten their marriages and imperil the security of their children.

Jack Linden (Mark Ruffalo) is married to Terry (Laura Dern) and they have two small children, a boy and a girl. Their closest friends, with whom they spend much (too much from my popcorn-munching perspective) time, are Hank Evans (Peter Krause) and Edith (Naomi Watts). They've got one pre-teen daughter. Jack and Hank teach English literature and creative writing at a small college in the rural area where they live. Both aspire to be published authors of fiction.

Jack has a torrid affair going with Edith, who feels neglected by her husband. Maybe at heart she simply doesn't like him anymore, much less love him. Hank's a fellow who thinks that free love is a guiltless and fine option that should co-exist with marriage. He doesn't care if Edith engages in adulterous liaisons, a normal part of his married life. Actually he's an empty-headed ass. He certainly isn't in tune with contemporary legal standards about refraining from sexually-laced comments to female students. In addition to being an ass, it's fair to say he's a pig too.

Terry suspects the affair while also being pursued by Hank. Hank the skirt-chaser is imbued with a touch of sociopathy. No evidence of conscience or feelings about the harm he might wreak disturbs his calm mien. Kudos to Peter Krause for investing Hank with such single-minded devotion to self-gratification that the viewer constantly wonders, "He's got to be a mensch, finally, no?" No.

Terry and Jack's marriage is in a rut. Terry imbibes too much and as contrasted to Edith, as a housewife she's a bit of a sloven, a trait for which she's excessively berated by Jack. Ruffalo is alternately sympathetic and repelling as a guy auto-fast-forwarded to his mid-life crisis.

Surprise-as the relationships become more complex, psychologically and sexually, the kids, all three of them, are in the middle. Only Terry seems to understand, with the desperateness of a shipwrecked sailor clinging to a plank, that preserving her marriage is in her kids' best interests if not necessarily her own.

Naomi Watts, who co-produced the movie, is beautiful and her dalliance with Jack is, for her, much more than a regular tumble for sexual diversity. She's alternately funny and deeply wistful, not fully in control of her world. A fine acting job.

But the emotional core of "We Don't Live Here Anymore" is the stunningly brilliant, ever remarkable Laura Dern, one of the greatest (and shamefully most underemployed) actresses working today. Dern's Terry is confused and desperate at times but her strongest, most ferocious belief is that the center must hold. Her center is her marriage and kids. And she loves Jack as no one else can and as he is too blind to appreciate.

Dern deserves an Oscar nomination for her fierce, gripping performance. Her facial expressions and her desperate pleading with Jack reflect a woman who isn't so much afraid of a marital breakup as she is hauntingly, achingly aware of what it will do to their kids. Pursued by Hank, rejected by Jack, Dern's Terry wavers but always hangs on to an inner strength the other three protagonists never had.

"Bob & Carol and Ted & Alice" decades ago parodied the sexual revolution that included, for some, mate swapping and adultery as - almost - a rite of passage for young, well-educated, affluent couples. "We Don't Live Here Anymore" updates the pseudo-sophistication of that portrayal and blazingly shows the human cost that may or may not make adultery worthwhile. The end here is as reassuring as viewers want (or need) it to be.

The cinematography is excellent. The score, ranging from Beethoven's Symphony No. 1 to bagpipe music to an almost minimalist accompaniment to critical scenes, is well integrated with Larry Cross's crisp screenplay. The original short stories by Andre Dubos are well adapted.

A powerful film, "We Don't Live Here Anymore" takes what could have been a "B" soap opera and through the brilliant acting of the quartet of leading characters brings to life an absorbing and meaningful story.

9/10

A Tale of Adulteries and End of Marriages

[claudio_carvalho · 7/10 · 12 March 2006]

The negligent housewife Terry (Laura Dern) is married with the teacher Jack Linden (Mark Ruffalo) and they have a son and a daughter. The careful housewife Edith (Naomi Watts) is married with the teacher and aspirant writer Hank Evans (Peter Krause) and they have a daughter. The two middle-class couples are best friends, visiting frequently each other. Edith feels neglected by Hank, and has a torrid affair with Jack. Terry loves Jack, but cheats him with Hank. And life goes on.

I saw the trailer of this movie and I really expected a more conclusive story. I liked this provoking and complex film, mainly the intense interpretations of Mark Ruffalo and Laura Dern. The character of Naomi Watts is quite confused and even shallow, and the character of Peter Krause is very passive, almost a supportive character. The story shows infidelities, end of relationships, the preoccupation with the children before definitively ending the marriage and taking the step of a divorce, but something is missing to make "We Don't Live Here Anymore" an unforgettable movie. The motives for the adultery of Terry, who seems to be still in love with Jack, are not convincing. They have a crisis in their marriage, they do not talk any more, they have lots of fighting, but her affair with Hank is not well-explained. The motives for Jack are very clear, since he has a crush on Edith. The motives for Hank are also easy to be understood, since the guy is a cheater. But Edith seems to be a nymphomaniac, shagging with Jack everywhere, and totally dishonest with her best friend Terry. My vote is seven.

Title (Brazil): "Tentação" ("Temptation")

Non-resolved shocking drama

[hakapes · 5/10 · 19 June 2005]

I felt so uncomfortable during the whole movie to see how these two marriages dismantle, how love disappears and gives place to indifference, how the only one who loves, Terry (Laura Den, a very credible performance) struggles the most. Though I still don't know how real the story is and what was the purpose of showing it, what can I take with me from the film. The drama presented is very complex and there is no solution in the end. Mark Ruffalo (Jack) also plays well in a role full of antipathy, but Naomi Watts (Edith) brings only her usual baby-doll face and Peter Krause (Hank) is also just average. The movie is very powerful, the mood is very heavy and dense, after the film it's like a kick in the stomach that stays there. 7/10

Real people, real emotions

[rblument-1 · 9/10 · 28 December 2004]

"We Don't Love Here Anymore," based on two short stories by Andre Dubus, is a pared-down, very effective view of marriage and infidelity. If you are looking for an "entertaining" film, then go elsewhere. Dubus, author of the short story that the film "In the Bedroom" was based, is not out to entertain. He is into dealing with real people in situations that are catastrophic to one's life. John Curran, the director, peels away at the emotions of these 4 characters who share loveless relationships with their respective mates, with the exception of one of them. There is no flash, no melodrama, and no special effects (thank God). It is also beautifully filmed in the Vancouver, B.C. area, and the acting is top notch, especially the performance of Laura Dern. It's like watching an episode of Thirtysomething without all the smaltz and cutesiness. Highly recommended!!

Serious Drama about Married Life

[BrightVibes · 7/10 · 13 August 2004]

We Don't Live Here Anymore is a serious drama about 2 married couples who are friends. They each end up cheating on the other. Its an interesting story about what happens when marriage gets rough and people look outside their marriage for the answers.

The acting performances are wonderful in this movie. Mark Ruffalo, Laura Dern, and Naomi Watts are all outstanding. Also, the direction is great. Just the way the scenes are filmed adds so much to the movie.

The film is very serious and intense, and deals with the topic in a very adult manner.

Strong performances in a film that seems to just miss it's target

[rosscinema · 5/10 · 18 January 2005]

This film doesn't waste anyone's time with the specifics of what happened to these four people and how they ended up in the situation they're in and while I agree that part isn't needed I did feel that some of what the characters are feeling just didn't transmit completely. Story is about Jack and Terry Linden (Mark Ruffalo & Laura Dern) and Hank and Edith Evans (Peter Krause & Naomi Watts) who are two married couples and good friends with each other but what's unknown to Hank is that his wife is having an affair with Jack. After coming home late one night Terry tells Jack that she knows that he's having an affair but she doesn't know who it's with and she doesn't want her marriage to end.

*****SPOILER ALERT***** The marriage between Jack and Terry is obviously coming to an end as neither one can have a conversation with the other and eventually she starts to sleep with Hank. Finally both couples tell their spouses what has been going on and as the Linden's ultimately will separate it comes as a surprise to Hank when Edith decides to leave their marriage as well.

This film is directed by John Curran who based the script on two Andre Dubus short stories and while "In the Bedroom" had a more traditional concept in terms of storytelling I thought this effort fell just a hair short to get the full emotional impact. It does come close though and the actors do a good job of bringing the vulnerabilities of the characters to the surface with Dern and Ruffalo standing out. Dern's portrayal of this domestically challenged woman is actually the more believable and it's been quite some time since she's been this good in a film. Watching the Linden marriage crumble apart with the characters getting angrier and angrier reminded me of the 1982 film "Shoot the Moon" as these people had to come to grips with the reality of their situation. But I think this film comes across as missing a key scene or two that would allow the viewer to fully understand what these people are going through and give this film that something special it craves. The actors give the story it's life and depth to the point that it just can't be ignored after an initial viewing but I came away feeling that I just didn't get the full spectrum of the events.

Dern good film!

[livewire-6 · 12 September 2004]

If "We Don't Live Here Anymore" had been made in the 1960s, it might have been titled "Jack and Terry and Hank and Edith". To borrow the title of another celebrated 60s film, "We Don't Live Here Anymore" is about carnal knowledge in the 21st century.

The film has a few interesting lines in it. Some have a hollow ring to them. Take the statement that "Even adultery has morality to it." The film does not appear to bear this out. Right or wrong don't seem to come into the picture at all. It seems as if anything goes as long as it makes people "happy". As Hank (Peter Krause) says, "It's easier living with a woman who feels loved" -- even if it is by your best friend Jack (Mark Ruffalo). Far closer to the truth is Mark's comment to his children that the arguments they overhear between their parents are just "adult foolishness". They certainly seem to be compared to the savvy of the kids, who are old beyond their years.

The situation (and the situational ethics) of the film may seem a tad unreal or surreal. But the film is solidly grounded in reality, as embodied by the environment in which the two couples live -- their home lives, their children, the very houses they inhabit.

The music of the film is well chosen, alternating between the drama of operatic or chamber music, and jazz rhythms that sound like a jungle beat -- the beat of sexual heat and passion.

The best of the four lead actors is Laura Dern as Terry. To my mind, she is the only fully rounded and entirely comprehensible character. Dern's setpiece speech about her husband treating her like a dog has the ring of Oscar to it. To be frank, Dern's shaggy mane and thin frame make her look a lot like a dog -- an Afghan or a Lhasa Apso, perhaps -- but she should definitely not be written off as a bitch. On the contrary, we understand and sympathize with her drinking and her anger at being cast aside by her wayward husband Jack.

Mark Ruffalo, as Jack, is harder to understand and to sympathize with. He comes across as too self-centered and callous. Even in his treatment of Edith (Naomi Watts), he seems to think only of himself and his sexual needs. He claims to "love" her, but their relationship is essentially physical. Jack is basically a wuss and a coward who, when push comes to shove, cannot leave his wife and cannot even be honest with his kids about how things stand between their parents. And you get the definite impression that Jack cares more about the children than about Terry. (That being said, the camera absolutely loves Mark Ruffalo with his dark, liquid brown eyes and full, sensual lips.)

By comparison, Peter Krause (Hank) and Naomi Watts (Edith) are less interesting and more like plot devices than real people. Hank is a professor and author with writer's block who has the hots for one of his students, but not for his pretty wife. Hank is no slouch himself in the looks department, but Edith's interests lie across the fence. It is even harder to understand their motivations than Jack's.

Still, "We Don't Live Here Any More" is a fascinating look at modern sexual mores, and Laura Dern is a powerhouse who lights up the screen. Again, don't be surprised if her name is put forward for the coveted golden statuette. You heard it here first!

a suburban "Closer"

[triple8 · 7/10 · 18 June 2005]

SPOILERS THROUGHOUT:

We don't live here anymore really does bear a strong similarity to "Closer" which was one of my favorite movies of 2004. The movie, like Closer, focuses on two couples, who's lives intertwine both emotionally and physically only these couples are both married and live in the suburbs. But the similarities are there.

This was a good movie. It was well written, with good direction and excellent performances, particularly Laura Dern. And the movie was thought provoking, provocative, disturbing, and engaging. Yet though I liked this, I did not like it as much as "Closer." It is difficult to say why. Closer haunted me after I saw it, as it did with many of my friends. I also felt like Closer captured the dysfunction of (definitely not all) but some of modern day relationships in a way no other movie really has done.

There were certain things about We don't live here anymore that I didn't care for. Certain scenes were very powerful but others were not so much. There was an unfinished sense at the end. Actually that feeling was there, for me, through the movie as I would see a very powerful scene and then the next scene would just....not Pick up where the previous scene had left off. There was a point I thought they were going to introduce a tragedy into the movie and totally go off in another direction but they did not. (which is a good thing.) I did not feel this movie flowed overall, in the way Closer did and though the characters came off with much more emotion and soul, I didn't feel I understood their motivations as well(if that makes any sense) except for perhaps The Dern Character of Terry. And yes Dern(all of them) were Oscar worthy performances!

I also didn't necessarily feel some of the more arty stuff worked, and that maybe the concentration should have been just exclusively on the Four Incredibly talented performers. I also felt Ruffalo and Dern, as great as they were, got the lion's share of the screen time, more attention was needed on the second couple, Krause and Watts, whom you almost don't know anything more about by the end of the film, then you did coming into it.

That is not, by any means, to say this wasn't a good movie. There were certain scenes that were absolutely riveting and radiated power. As mentioned the performances Were great and as with Closer(and other movies such as American Beauty) there is a sense that like it or not, in these times, there are more relationships with these similarities then many may care to admit. This, for me, wasn't "Closer" but It was a good movie and I'd give it a 7 of 10 and definitely say it's worth a look.

Secret Lives of English Teachers

[brenttraft · 7/10 · 5 September 2004]

We Don't Live Here Anymore has more than a few moments of greatness, which makes it all that more disappointing. There are some great cinematic effects, some great dialog, and some great acting. In between, the moments of greatness are tied together by mediocrity. The individual parts are greater than the whole film.

At least part of the problem has to be attributed to the script. Maybe it was because it was pieced together from two short stories. I haven't read the stories, so I can't tell. The film has a disjointed quality about it. The script never attempts to explain the motivation behind the characters. Why are they ruining their families? Why do they seem so intent to hurt each other and themselves? Why does Edith stare blankly? Why does Hank seem not to care? Why do these people seem so unconcerned about how their actions will affect their children? While leaving such ambiguities might be okay for a short story, and maybe even a play; it does not work well in film. Audiences expect film to follow a pre-described format and part of the format involves having sympathy and understanding for its' characters. This is a fatal flaw commercially and it's a shame because this was close to being a great film. At times it is more like watching an acting workshop than watching an actual story.

Of particular note are the performances of the women: Naomi Watts and Laura Dern. This alone is reason enough to see it. The men are okay but not on the same level and therefore less sympathetic. The directing is creative and he uses some effects we usually don't associate with this type of film such as the two-second flashback and dialog from one scene while visually showing another. The music is used more effectively in this film than most.

This is a film that obviously had great aspirations and because it falls short, it makes it disappointing. I give it a 7/10 but it could have done much better.

Don't Have An Affair With Your Friends Wife

[loveablejohn-46629 · 7/10 · 20 April 2019]

This movie was good overall as it really showed what could happen when couples starting cheating on each other as the sort was well written for the most part but I didn't like the ending. The actors all did an outstanding job in their roles and the cinematography was excellant

Humorless and Grim

[taxib · 4/10 · 3 September 2004]

When I learned that the screenplay for this movie had been written 25 years ago, it all started to make sense. It watches like an Updike novel reads; everybody's miserable and horny, the women are cardboard figures with no careers, the guys are unlikable but you're supposed to cheer for them anyway. Didn't read the Dubus stories but I believe they come from the same era (and I'll bet they're better than the film.) A reviewer described Laura Dern's mouth as being "a rictus of pain" and that was a good description, but frankly I didn't want to watch so much rictus all the time. Her close-ups were excruciating, especially back to back with the flawless Naomi Watts; it seemed highly improbable that Peter Krause would be attracted to her with Naomi in the house. But the worst part was that it was utterly humorless. At the screening I went to the laughs were strictly uncomfortable ones. Then I got bogged down in a few improbabilities. If Naomi Watts is that much of a clean freak, what's she doing having sex out in the woods? How come Peter Krause's character has money and Mark Ruffalo's doesn't, when they basically have the same job? And is there some rule that all English professors have to wear beards? Couldn't one of them have been clean shaven? Why don't the women seem to have jobs?

I came away feeling that the whole thing was a grim enterprise, lacking poetry or coherence.

Vivid and real, a "Closer" experience for us ordinary folk, an ensemble success

[secondtake · 8/10 · 30 May 2011]

We Don't Live Here Anymore (2004)

What do you do when your marriage after ten or fifteen years isn't perfect, and maybe you, or your spouse, is thinking about having an affair? Wow, is this about as universal a theme as any? And set it in a very very nice but very normal semi-suburban contemporary American world (the fringes of an unnamed Washington State city), have two couples who are close friends all begin to doubt and melt down together. It's really a great starting point because it matters.

The danger of such a story is that it won't seem original, or insightful, or right enough. Director John Curran is working with a pair of short stories by well known fiction writer Andre Dubus, and he seems to make something special happen out of nothing much. This interplay of four relatively normal people, each distinctive but all four belonging to a cross section of educated, white, upper middle-class America, is almost all of the movie. Their three children play a small but important role anchoring their emotional outbursts, keeping a brake on the breakdowns in a way that is all to familiar.

All four of the main actors are cast perfectly. Mark Ruffalo (also an executive producer of the movie) and Laura Dern make one couple, Naomi Watts (a producer) and Peter Krause (still filming episodes as Nate in "Six Feet Under") form the other. They live in similar wood frame houses a short drive from each other. The two men are both English professors and they go running together. The two women don't seem to work at all, but each is raising one or two children, still young. It was once bliss, and should be still, but whatever it is that makes things go wrong in marriage has started to go wrong.

It's a convenience of plot, almost the kind of strategy a playwright would use, that the mixed emotions of these four begin to cross among themselves. No one's world is that tightly limited, but it's okay for the movie because the point isn't about the situation being possible, as a whole, but about the individual reactions each has. The movie is slightly deliberate but never slow, as long as you remain curious about their motivations, their fears of getting caught (or wanting to get caught, or expecting to get caught). And their efforts to patch things up, to come to some higher love about it, not just for the "sake of the children" but for themselves.

In some ways it's a perfect movie, except that it misses a kind of epiphany that this kind of effort really needs by the end. It does try, and the last few minutes of the movie are unexpected but quite reasonable. Everyone can quibble about whether he would do this or she would do that, based on how the characters are set up, and I certainly would--for example, the final action by Naomi Watts struck me as a great move by the writer, adding another level of depth to it all, but it wasn't quite supported enough by what happened earlier. I can't say more, but it's an example of both how the whole movie, first scene to last, ties together, and how it all could have been nuanced and emphasized in tiny little ways to give it even more credibility and incredibility (the first for conviction, the second for drama).

Watts is probably the weakest link of the four, and Krause, as terrific as he is here, is given a personality of detachment and minor depression, so he is often almost invisible. Ruffalo matches Krause's calm, but he has an uncanny ability to make that permeate the screen. His face and movements seem to do nothing, literally, and yet he has a tone of voice, and just a bare change of expression, to be really effective. Dern is the most dynamic of the four, and she goes from one intensity to another, from quiet to vitriolic, in a commanding performance. I'd call this an ensemble cast (and it is, I know) but in fact most of the film shows only two actors at a time, in different combinations.

It's an odd but perfect comparison to another film, released three weeks later in 2004, that deals with almost the same themes, "Closer," directed by Mike Nichols. I think "Closer" is astonishing, another set of four great actors in a mixed up set of emotions, but next to Curran's film, Nichols makes an extraverted, over the top, big personality experience out of it. It's a great ride, whatever the interactions of the two couples. In "We Don't Live Here Anymore" there is every effort to keep it small, local, regular, everyday. If that's it's strength, somehow, it's its limitation, too, because it demands a very high level of subtlety. Dramatics has to be replaced with perception, and with perfect writing.

And it comes close, at times very close. Curran is no Mike Nichols, frankly (no one is), but he has pulled off (with the help of four great actors in good form) an excellent film. It will be too run of the mill for many viewers, but if you like soap opera drama raised to the level of a two hour, thoughtful movie, you'll really like it.

... marriage is complicated.. as are most all people

[bjarias · 7/10 · 18 February 2017]

..sure, when you're that unhappy in your marriage start screwing the husband of your best friends... it'll work out in the end for sure... in all the dialogue of this intensely worded production, the final couple lines say it all... "... why would you do it... because I can"... add it all up and these four admirable actors have been in a host of films.. they are all without doubt among the best in their profession.. here's a film that according to numbers on the IMDb site barely made two million dollars (says it est cost to make to be three million).. yet there are many movies on the subject don't nearly do it a fraction as well as this one... ten, twenty years plus.. it won't loose a thing

A drama devoid of drama!!

[drees71 · 2/10 · 1 May 2007]

i wanted to see this as i admired Peter Krause in the seminal Six Feet Under...I really wished i hadn't bothered. It was dull, this idea has been explored to death, and is Mark Ruffalo the most boring actor in human creation???...Not thought provoking, imaginative or really believable, i really didn't feel these couples had been together for ten or so years at all...It was riddled with cliché. The only original thing about it was that it was a drama devoid of drama!! 2 stars for Peter Krause, who telephoned in a version of Nathaniel Fisher, underused... If you want to see 4 boring Americans late 30 somethings, moan and go about their tedious lives this is the film for you....

a must see!!!!

[tjrasjid · 8/10 · 26 May 2006]

totally awesome film...i think everybody should watch it, it's so realistic...you can feel the chemistry between the four of them!!! dern as devoted yet fragile housewife matched by rufallo uncertainty, while watts as the seductive one just so excellent with capital E and matched by krauss vulnerability. it's just like an ordinary daily live when you watch it that just don't feel like watching movie...maybe the reality could be compared to "a home at the end of the world" truly it's so rare to find a film with all the right chemistry and a reality that's so true...my advice is you should watch this movie at whatever cost...you won't regret a thing

strong performance of broken Marriage between two couple /best friends.

[afterdarkpak · 7/10 · 10 October 2020]

It has some really decent and nice performance, the expression n feelings are really good in this and for all 4 lead characters.

in start the movie feels like swinging or wife swapping but later it gets serious drama. the whole story / plot strongly focus on affect of "adultery / cheating" and more affects on children too. cheating always ends bad, no matter how good in start.

the movie gave some kinda good ending but its not. because a broken marriage is a broken marriage, it cant be repair or reconcile ever.

------------------------spoilers--------------------------

there is one part is confusing, it seems that husband is having an affair with best friend wife , but later it shows that who start it first? means whole movie it shows mark n naomi having affair. but did they start it because of act of revenge that their spouses start it first at poker game ? that part is confusing.

Give me a break!

[sober_gaijin · 1/10 · 30 January 2005]

What crack-addicted movie god convinced today's pretentious crowd of indie directors that the rest of the world give's a tinker's cuspidus about the sexual problems of four unlikeable people. This is essentially "Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice" for the 21st Century angst-ridden indie generation. Gone are the days of sexually experimental couples wallowing in the zeitgeist of 60s counterculture. Today's philandering couples are so racked with guilt that it takes them about five minutes to deliver a four-word line. At least one person in the bunch has to be an unpublished writer who stares at his screen unable to breathe life onto the blank page. The other three sort of tap-dance around the issues ... well, it's not really a tap-dance, more like a slow, foot-dragging funeral dirge as performed by intoxicated box turtles.

Two of the unwritten rules of screen writing ought to become WRITTEN rules in the WGA laws, punishable by dismemberment. Said two rules are: (1) The audience needs to LIKE one of the characters, and (2) NO ONE CARES ABOUT THE WRITER'S DYSFUNCTIONAL SEX LIFE! Beyond that, it is all fair game.