2 June 2004 | Lady-of-Rohan
The chessiest, cheapest, lamest show on CTV of all time
Canada has put some great talent out there. Shania Twain, Default, Swollen Members, Avril, Sum 41, Three Days Grace, Finger Eleven, Alanis Morisette, and Nickelback are among the honorables. However, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction...and here it is.
This is Canadian Idol. It's like American Idol but with none of the talent and none of the likability.
The judges will pick anyone, and I mean ANYONE, who can sing above a certain number of decibels. People will come up and sing a painful version of "Stacey's Mom" or screech through "A Whole New World" and the judges will ooooh and awwww and gush at every atrocious note the singers attempt to hit.
They will drown the singer in praises and give them the golden ticket to Toronto.
Meanwhile, the host is out on the town, picking up Idol hopefuls on a greyhound bus, drinking Screech, having a date with a Cod (unfortunatly, I'm not joking), chipping away at the sea ice so the ferry can get to St. John's, and comforting weepy losers who diddn't make it to Toronto. WHAT THE HECK AM I WATCHING HERE?! I thought this was a talent show seeking the next great Canadian singer, not revealing the worst in Maritime culture. This show literally makes me ashamed to be Canadian. And I though Hayden Christianson's horrible acting in "Attack of the Clones" was the worst in Canadian no-talent. Can I still change my vote?
Americans, don't think you have it easy. You guys still need to shake off "The Swan".