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David Kaufman in Danny Phantom (2003)

Quotes

Danny Phantom

Edit
  • Samantha "Sam" Manson: [not realizing yet that Danny's under a love spell] Wait, I know that look. That's that same, longing, puppy-dog stare you give Paulina.
  • Danny Fenton: Who's Paulina?
  • Samantha "Sam" Manson: Well, that's a pleasant side effect.
  • Ghost Tracker: [Jack Fenton holds his Ghost Tracker near Danny] Ghost directly ahead. You would have to be some sort of moron to not notice the ghost directly ahead.
  • Box Lunch: I am Box Lunch! Daughter of The Box Ghost and The Lunch Lady!
  • Danny Fenton: Um, eww!
  • [Danny, Sam, and Tucker are at Nasty Burger]
  • Danny Fenton: Ahhh, Nasty Burger, our safe haven. Away from the worries of...
  • [Jazz bursts through the door]
  • Jazz Fenton: Danny, run!
  • Danny Fenton: Run? Why should I...
  • [everyone stares at the door, and soon after Jack and Maddie come in here in 80's clothes, with Jack looking like Flavor Flav and Maddie looking like 80's Madonna]
  • Jack Fenton, Maddie Fenton: Dude!
  • [everyone in the Nasty Burger gasps and starts laughing; Jazz and Sam are hiding, embarrassed]
  • Jazz Fenton: If anyone asks, I'm related to you.
  • Samantha "Sam" Manson: Okay, but you're gonna have to be a lot less cheery.
  • [Jack Fenton tries his new Ghost Translator on Danny]
  • Danny Fenton: Um... Um... Boo?
  • Ghost Translator: I am a ghost. Fear me.
  • Danny Fenton: [panics] Uh... I better get to school!
  • Ghost Translator: I better get to school. Fear me.
  • Tucker Foley: [Danny and Dragon Sam have destroyed the school dance] Man, I can't believe your date ditched you.
  • Danny Fenton: Where is Paulina anyway?
  • Samantha "Sam" Manson: [sees Paulina talking to Dash] Who cares? Look, the DJ is still playing and I think there's still time for one more dance.
  • [smiles at Danny]
  • Danny Fenton: [smiles at Sam] Sure, I'd love to.
  • [hands Tucker the amulet]
  • Danny Fenton: Hold on to this, will ya?
  • Samantha "Sam" Manson: [dancing with Danny] Promise me you'll keep your pants on?
  • Danny Fenton: I'll do my best.
  • Tucker Foley: Man, I'm dateless again! Man, what does a guy have to do to get hooked up around here?
  • Ghost Girl: I want to go to the ball!
  • Tucker Foley: On second thought, I'm not that desprete. Hey guys, can I cut in?
  • Johnny 13: [after Danny punches him during a staged fight to convince Kitty he wants her back] I thought this was a pretend fight.
  • Danny Fenton: Then pretend that didn't hurt.
  • [the poem is closing with its last lines]
  • Danny Fenton: [narrating] And then I thought, maybe this is the moral. / In the same way my folks loved their old Christmas quarrel. / Everyone celebrates in the way of their choosing. / I was so busy whining, I started abusing / The ones I loved most and I ruined their cheer. /
  • [smiles]
  • Danny Fenton: I'll try to be better, come Christmas next year.
  • [thus ends the poem; Danny, Sam, Jazz and Tucker gather together at the last page which says "The End."]
  • Samantha "Sam" Manson: Um, nice sentiment, but what are you, a greeting card?
  • Tucker Foley: Yeah, why are you talking in rhyme?
  • Jazz Fenton: Such a dork.
  • Danny Fenton: [realizing] We're not talking in rhyme?
  • [starts getting jubliant]
  • Danny Fenton: We're not talking in rhyme!
  • [the book closes, and Ghost Writer is glad his new poem is finished. A cell mate inches close to him as he wants to look at the new book he has completed, but Ghost Writer turns away from him]
  • Walker: [greets him] Orange?
  • Ghost Writer: [scared] Aahh! Get that thing away from me!
  • [Jazz is riding home in excitement, with Danny feeling disappointed]
  • Jazz Fenton: Wow! Isn't this great? We just caught three ghosts tonight!
  • Danny Fenton: No, actually, you've just caught one ghost, three times, all of them me!
  • [80's Jack and Maddie hug their son Danny tightly]
  • Danny Fenton: [to Jazz] If I pass out, I give you permission to not resuscitate me.
  • Tucker Foley: [after Danny has phased a car through a building] Oh sure, phase the car through the building. You just had to save the day, didn't you?
  • Danny Fenton: Well yeah! Because a car crashing through the twenty-eighth floor of anything is BAD!
  • [Sam is trying to distract Technus]
  • Samantha "Sam" Manson: Hi. I'm Sam. I don't believe I caught your name. I suggest you shout it out loud, along with your motive.
  • Technus: I am technus! Master of all things mechanical! Wizard of integrated soicuittry! And destroyer of woilds!
  • Vice Principal Lancer: Great Gatsby!
  • Danny Fenton: [after a day of strange ghost-related events at school] I can explain.
  • [pause]
  • Danny Fenton: Actually, I really can't.
  • [Danny Phantom has accidentally destroyed the poem Ghost Writer has created]
  • Danny Phantom: Oops! Uh, Sorry, man, it was a total accident.
  • Ghost Writer: Oops?
  • [angrily]
  • Ghost Writer: Oops? Do you have any idea what you've done?
  • Danny Phantom: Well... not really, uh, hence the "accident" part.
  • Ghost Writer: You've destroyed my greatest work! And that was my only copy!
  • [Danny picks up a page of the book from the destroyed pieces and reads it]
  • Danny Phantom: The Fright Before Christmas? I destroyed a Christmas poem? Awesome!
  • Ghost Writer: What?
  • Danny Phantom: Dude, I am sick of Christmas! I came to the Ghost Zone to get away from it. I might not have meant to destroy your stupid book, but that doesn't mean I'm not okay with it.
  • [destroys the page from the book he was reading]
  • [Ghost Writer has trapped Danny Phantom inside a new poem, which begins its first lines]
  • Ghost Writer: On the day before Christmas, in Amity Park, / Almost all there were cheery, yet one soul was dark.
  • Danny Fenton: Hey, that voice? It's the ghost whose book I destroyed. /
  • [looks around]
  • Danny Fenton: Wait! I'm trapped in this poem? Now I'm really annoyed!
  • [Danny flies to the Jewish Manson home, hoping Sam won't put the blame on him for attacking Christmas]
  • Danny Fenton: [in joy] Sam!
  • Ghost Writer: Danny said.
  • Danny Fenton: [to Ghost Writer] Oh, for crying out loud!
  • Samantha "Sam" Manson: I know. Can't you see we're all under a cloud? / Every present we had, in the chimney up through it! / That might work for you, but that's not how we do it!
  • Ghost Writer: And Sam saw sad faces on Mom, Dad, and Granny, / So I typed on my keyboard that the blame was on Danny!
  • [Ghost Writer conrtols Sam by her anger]
  • Samantha "Sam" Manson: [angrily] You! You did this?
  • Danny Fenton: [shouts] Are you out of your mind?
  • Samantha "Sam" Manson: [shouts] You're the holiday scrooge! Do you think that I'm blind?
  • Ghost Writer: And Danny and Sam found themselves in a spat. / But before Dan could calm her, I soon realized that / A new threat was needed to cut through the noise; / And what better way than attack of the toys?
  • [Ghost Writer brings all the toys from each building to attack the town, then starts forming them together. Danny and Sam stop and go outside to look at this scenery; Danny turns into Danny Phantom to find out what's going on]
  • Ghost Writer: From all over the town, the toys started to merge! / I'm really quite weakened when I get the urge! / On this night before Christmas, a brand new attacker! / And now, face the wrath of my monster nutcracker!
  • [the controlled toys form a giant Nutcracker, which comes to life and attacks]
  • Danny Phantom: [surprised] Aw, nuts!
  • [he starts running away from the monster]
  • Ghost Writer: Danny cried, as he started to run. /
  • [pauses]
  • Ghost Writer: Must we end every scene with a terrible pun?
  • Jack Fenton: You must be so exhausted you can't even talk.
  • [gets no answer]
  • Jack Fenton: So I'll keep talking.
  • Danny Fenton: [has just parachuted onto his aunt's farm with his dad's gift] Here you go mom. Dad left it at home so uhh... the mosquitoes wouldn't get it!
  • Jack Fenton: That's right!
  • [whispering to Danny]
  • Jack Fenton: Good work son. You'll get a raise in your allowance for this.
  • Danny Fenton: I get an allowance?
  • Samantha "Sam" Manson: [trying to stop Danny's parents from cheaking on him while he's fighting a ghost upstairs] Danny's upstairs.
  • [crash is heard upstairs]
  • Samantha "Sam" Manson: Uh, lifting weights?
  • Maddie Fenton: [after hearing another crash] He doesn't have exercise equipment up there.
  • Danny Fenton: [another crash] My computer! Oh, wait that's Jazz's.
  • [Danny and Tucker are drooling over Paulina]
  • Samantha "Sam" Manson: Paulina? Please, girls like that are a dime a dozen.
  • Danny Fenton: [to Tucker] How much change you got?
  • Samantha "Sam" Manson: Very funny.
  • [Danny and Tucker are at his house, talking to Sam over the computer]
  • Samantha "Sam" Manson: I'm sure you boys will have a wonderful time.
  • [logs off the computer]
  • Danny Fenton: She really wants to go to the dance.
  • Tucker Foley: She said she didn't want to!
  • Jazz Fenton: By the way Danny, just so you know, I'm onto your little secret.
  • Danny Fenton: [spits out his water] What secret?
  • Jazz Fenton: The clumsiness, the nervousness... I can't beleive I didn't figure it out before. You have a girlfriend.
  • Danny Fenton: It's a lie, I'm not a ghost! I mean, she's not my girlfriend. She's just going to the dance with me.
  • Jack Fenton: Great, I can meet her and talk to her about ghosts!
  • Jazz Fenton: You better let her know your family's insane now, Danny. If you marry her, and she finds out later, that's entrapment.
  • Danny Fenton: [Sam taps at his window] Sam! You snuck out to see me! Oh, this is just like Romeo and Juliet, except I'm the one on the balcony and I can understand everything we're saying.
  • Danny Fenton: [over cell phone] Are you okay? We can stop by later if you want us too.
  • Samantha "Sam" Manson: [home sick in bed] No, that's okay. I'll be fine. Bye.
  • [She hangs up, then glares at the doctor, nurse and ambulance attendent standing at her bedside]
  • Samantha "Sam" Manson: You guys, it's just a cold!
  • Ambulance Attendent: [shocking himself with the pads] Clear!
  • Danny Fenton: [in the ghost prison cafeteria, Danny looks at a table where all the ghosts he sent back into the Ghost Zone are sitting] Great, everyone who hates me is sitting on table, just like in high school.
  • Tucker Foley: Wait, you guys kissed?
  • Danny Fenton, Samantha "Sam" Manson: No! It was a fake-out make-out!
  • Tucker Foley: But that still has the words "make" and "out" in it, right?
  • Tucker Foley: [as Sam's staring daggers at Danny and Paulina, who are now a couple] You okay?
  • Samantha "Sam" Manson: Of course I am! Why would I not be okay? LOOK how HAPPY he is!
  • [punches a hole in a locker]
  • Danny Fenton: [after being attacked by giant ghost scissors] I know I should be concerned, and I will be... right after the party.
  • Skulker: [to Danny] I planned on simply capturing you and letting you live the rest of your life in a cage, but now, I will rest your pelt at the foot of my bed.
  • Samantha "Sam" Manson: Okay, that's just gross.
  • Samantha "Sam" Manson: [while Tucker's using his PDA to goof around with Skulker's technology] Stop fooling around, Tucker!
  • Danny Fenton: Power him down, already! Now!
  • Tucker Foley: Relax. Everything's totally under
  • [Skulker destroys his PDA with an arrow]
  • Tucker Foley: control... Oh, man! I had four more payments on this one.
  • Danny Fenton: How is it that I have ghost powers, but YOU'RE the weird kid?
  • [Dark Danny has revealed his true form to Jazz]
  • Jazz Fenton: You're not Danny. That's why the Booo-Merang wasn't honing in on you're ecto-signature. You're not Danny!
  • Dark Danny: I was, but I outgrew him. The Danny you know is floating helplessly in the Ghost Zone ten years in the future.
  • Jazz Fenton: He'll escape! He'll beat you!
  • Dark Danny: How? Is the answer: A. the Fenton Portal? Destroyed it. B. the only remaining portal? The one that my idiot cheesehead archenemy has? As soon as I find it, that's going too.
  • Jazz Fenton: Cheesehead? Vlad Masters? *He's* your archenemy?
  • Dark Danny: [continues] Is it: C. you? No. You can't stop me from cheating on the C.A.T. and solidifying my future, so it must be D...
  • [blasts Jazz away with a plasma blast]
  • Dark Danny: None of the above.
  • [Jazz faints; Dark Danny takes the C.A.T. answers form and reads the answers. A smile lights up his face]
  • Dark Danny: Well, what do you know? The answer to the first question *is* "D"!
  • [evil laugh]
  • [Jazz is counseling with a punk named Spike]
  • Jazz Fenton: Spike, you need to open up to your parents. Be true to yourself *and* them. Just tell them how you feel. I mean, it's not like they're going to attack you or anything...
  • [she gets caught in a net, mistaken for a ghost]
  • Jack Fenton: We got her! And the Fenton Grappler is working like a charm!
  • Maddie Fenton: [looks at Jazz] I don't understand. If Jazz is a ghost, then why hasn't she phased through the net?
  • Jazz Fenton: [angrily] Because I am *not* a ghost!
  • [takes off the net]
  • Jazz Fenton: You've ambushed me, suffocated me with smoke, and worse, you pulled me away from Spike before he had his breakthrough! What do you have to say for yourselves?
  • [pause. Jack takes out the Fenton Thermos]
  • Jack Fenton: Eat hot Fenton Thermos, ghost gal!
  • [Thermos short-curcuits, and Jack shakes it]
  • Jack Fenton: Darn thing still doesn't work!
  • Tucker Foley: [notices the haunted TV remote bought at Danny's garage sale is floating] I'm not schooled in the ways of the rich, but do all your remotes do that?
  • Samantha "Sam" Manson: No. Well, my toaster does, but it's from Denmark.
  • Samantha "Sam" Manson: Sorry about that stupid fight. Can we forget it ever happened?
  • Danny Fenton: [quoting Desiree's catchphrase] So you wish it, so shall it be.
  • [they both blush]
  • Tucker Foley: Hey, I'm right here.
  • Paulina: Danny, you never said whether or not you were coming to my quincenera on Friday.
  • Danny Fenton: That's because when you invited me, I thought you were joking.
  • Youngblood: Ha! You said booty!
  • Danny Fenton: Not getting invited to a party is one thing, but not getting invited to a party at my own house?
  • Tucker Foley: Dude, you can't blame yourself for this. It's not your fault.
  • Danny Fenton: Maybe not. But it is my responsibility.
  • Danny Fenton: [to Tucker and Sam] Did you see the way all those ghost hunters were laughing at him? How embarrassing! We're gonna have to live with my dad's goof-ups for the rest of our lives!
  • [pause]
  • Danny Fenton: He's standing right behind me, isn't he?
  • Samantha "Sam" Manson: [to Danny] You don't feel that way about me and I don't feel that way about you.
  • Danny Fenton: So why are you still holding my hands?
  • Danny Fenton: [to Jazz] Will you stop talking about me like I'm not here?
  • [shouting to Youngblood]
  • Danny Fenton: And will you stop poking me?
  • Danny Fenton: Skulker and Technus? Together?
  • Tucker Foley: Is that an eww, or a yikes?
  • Danny Fenton: Definitely a yikes!
  • Vlad Masters: [about Sam and Tucker, infected with ecto-acne] They're running out of time, you know.
  • Danny Fenton: [suddenly smiling] Time? That gives me a great idea!
  • [scene shifts to Clockwork's tower]
  • Clockwork: No. That's a horrible idea. I'm the ghost of time, not the ghost of miracle cures.
  • [Danny returns to Jack's house after changing the past to find the house deserted]
  • Danny Fenton: Mom? Dad? Jazz? Anyone?
  • [he gasps as Jack runs in, his face covered in ecto-acne]
  • Jack Fenton: [shouts] Nobody trespasses on Jack Fenton's property!
  • Danny Fenton: Dad, relax!
  • Jack Fenton: [confused and sad] Dad? I don't have a son; I'm single! Bitterly, bitterly single.
  • Danny Fenton: You are?
  • [to himself]
  • Danny Fenton: Jeez, that explains... almost everything.
  • Jack Fenton: What?
  • Danny Fenton: Nothing!
  • [sees Jack's ecto-acne and points at it]
  • Danny Fenton: Uh, is that ecto-acne?
  • Jack Fenton: [angry] It's a condition... that you shouldn't know about!
  • [grabs Danny by the collar of his shirt]
  • Jack Fenton: [shouts] How do you know about ecto-acne? Talk!
  • Danny Fenton: I'm your son! I know all about the accident in Wisconsin... that shouldn't have happened.
  • Jack Fenton: [angry] Oh, it happened, all right!
  • [throws Danny onto the ground in anger]
  • Jack Fenton: And my life went straight down the flusher from that day on!
  • [turns into Jack Plasmius]
  • [Jack has turned into Jack Plasmius and starts attacking Danny]
  • Danny Fenton: [shouts] Wait, it's me, Danny, your son!
  • [dodges another shot fired by Jack]
  • Jack Plasmius: [shouts] Lies! I do not have a son! And even if I did, I certainly wouldn't name him Danny. That's dumb.
  • Danny Fenton: [angry] Okay, I don't want to do this in front of you, but... Going ghost!
  • [Danny turns into Danny Phantom, and Jack sees him, surprised but angry]
  • Jack Plasmius: You're a ghost? I hate ghosts!
  • [continues attacking Danny]
  • Jack Plasmius: And if it wasn't for ghosts, I wouldn't have lost the love of my life!
  • [knocks Danny into the basement]
  • [in the basement, Danny Phantom sees a newspaper article of Maddie's marriage to Vlad]
  • Danny Fenton: I didn't destroy the past... I destroyed the present!
  • [Jack and Maddie see Vlad, Sam, and Tucker's ecto-acne]
  • Maddie Fenton: There's only one place that treats ecto-acne!
  • Danny Fenton: [hpoing] Please say "hospital", please say "hospital".
  • [scene shifts to FentonWorks in quarantine]
  • Danny Fenton: [disappointed] Why didn't she just say "hospital"?
  • [Vlad attacks Jack Plasmius and ties Danny Phantom to the torture chamber]
  • Vlad Masters: I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave, molecule by molecule!

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David Kaufman in Danny Phantom (2003)
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