"Busty Cops" is the kind of movie I come across while flipping by the channels at night. I didn't really plan on watching it the first time I saw it, but I'm glad I stuck around for the whole thing.
It starts out as a standard crime caper--three women are bumped off at a porn movie shoot, and nobody knows who did it. Enter the Busty Cops--Max (Nikki Nova), Chloe (Jesse Jane), and Ashley (Katie James). They're supposed to represent the best and the "bustiest" the force has to offer, so they go deep undercover as porn stars (not much of a stretch here) in order to solve the mystery. It's CTCWB, no doubt about that--but it's much, much more than that.
The story itself only exists to get the girls to the house--after that, it takes a back seat and lets the Busty Cops do the rest. These women use the most ordinary situations as excuses to take their clothes off and engage in HLA--Hot Lesbian Action. For example, as soon as they get to the house where the porno is being shot, Chloe suggests they all take a shower. Why? Who knows, they're naked--and fulfilling the softcore movie requirement of at least one shower scene. Later on in the movie, the girls come downstairs and find nothing to eat in the fridge--but there just happens to be cans of whip cream and plenty of bottles of chocolate syrup just waiting on the counter. Why? Who cares, they're naked--and covered in chocolate syrup.
Also, don't miss a sexy scene featuring Angel Cassidy, who's trying out to be a Busty Cop. "Let me show you my qualifications," she says, and then proceeds to do a little standard-issue striptease. At that point, I couldn't even remember what the plot of the movie was. Let's not even start on the "Fortress of Bustitude." Wow.
Of course, there was plenty of hilarious dialogue, and even though the director's name read Harold Blueberry, this thing had Jim Wynorski's fingerprints all over it. Jim and Fred Olen Ray have the screwball sex comedy B-movie down to a science. The ending sequence, showing funny outtakes and an interview with the cast, was funny and satirical at the same time. It made fun of other movies that have weepy, sugary-sweet cast interviews about how great it was to make the film, and all that great stuff.
I haven't talked about the sex yet, because there wasn't very much of it. The opening sequence three-way and a decent scene featuring Jesse Jane was about all the sex there was. Of course, there was plenty of HLA, but that goes without saying.
I consider this movie tapeworthy, even though there wasn't a whole lot in the "Sex" department. The sex scenes weren't that long and were largely comic in nature, but they served their purpose. If you like comedy along with your naked women, this is the movie for you.
Women: A- (I liked Jesse Jane and Angel Cassidy. Katie James had that "wholesome" look. Nikki Nova took some getting used to, but she's not bad at all.)
Sex: B- (It was average at best. A few sex scenes, but nothing too hot and heavy--even the all-girl scenes were simply OK. The extra points are for the chocolate syrup/whip cream exchange. I liked that.)
Story: C (From what little story there was, it did what it was supposed to do, and that was have an ending. If it didn't have that, this film gets an F for sure. It had a couple of spots where it dragged a little, too. Since I at least got an ending out of it, and since I enjoyed the funny dialogue, I'll be nice and give it a C in this category.)
Overall: A- (I'm giving this movie an A- because it was a funny movie throughout, and I like watching comedies. The 2/3 of a point deduction comes from the story dragging in places. This film would normally get a B or a B+ from me, but thanks to Jesse Jane's determination to go as long as possible without clothes, I'll give "Busty Cops" some extra credit points. I'd recommend this movie to anyone who likes sexy, screwball comedy B-movies.)
