Jeffrey Tambor credited as playing...
George Bluth Sr. • Oscar Bluth
- [Tobias discovers that George Sr. has been living in the attic]
- Tobias Fünke: What are you doing up here?
- George Sr.: I'm having a fucking tea party, what does it look like? I live here. You tell anyone, you are DEAD.
- [he shoves Tobias up against the wall with his hand against his mouth]
- George Sr.: Stop licking my hand, you horse's ass.
- Michael: I burned it. Down to the ground.
- George Sr.: There was money in that banana stand.
- Michael: Well, it's all gone now.
- George Sr.: There was $250,000 lining the inside walls of the banana stand.
- Michael: What?
- George Sr.: Cash, Michael. What the hell did you think I meant when I said...
- [strangles Michael]
- George Sr.: [yells] There is money... in... the banana stand.
- Prison guard: [George Sr. quickly takes his hands off Michael] No Touching.
- George Sr.: No touching.
- Prison guard: No touching.
- Michael Bluth: Do you know what they do to people who commit treason?
- George Sr.: First time.
- Michael Bluth: I've never heard of a second.
- George Sr.: I got the worst
- [bleep]
- George Sr.: -ing attorneys.
- Narrator: In an effort to "hip" up his act, Gob had briefly introduced a puppet.
- [Gob is acting as a black puppet named Franklin in front of the family]
- Gob: [as Franklin] Can I tell you something, my man?
- Gob: [as himself] Sure, Franklin.
- Gob: [as Franklin] You are one cool
- [bleep]
- Gob: . Speaking of mothers, let me give that oatmeal some brown sugar.
- [the puppet 'kisses' Lucille]
- George Sr.: Get off my wife, you bastard.
- [strangles Franklin]
- Gob: [as Franklin] What's the matter with you?
- Gob: [in the present] Franklin said some things Whitey wasn't ready to hear.
- Michael: Gob, weren't you also mercilessly beaten outside of a club in Torrance for that act?
- Gob: He also said some things that African-American-y wasn't ready to hear either.
- George Sr.: I think it's a mistake letting George Michael go on this church thing.
- Michael: Her name is Ann, Dad, and he's not "going on" her.
- George Sr.: What is this is they have on me? You keep talking about a fact. You keep saying "I know for a fact." What fact?
- Cindi Lightballoon: Faith. I have faith my prayers will free you.
- George Sr.: Faith is not a fact.
- Cindi Lightballoon: Oh, yes it is. You said so yourself in Caged Wisdom.
- Narrator: George, Sr. had said faith is a fact. Unfortunately, it was in the Caged Wisdom blooper bonus footage.
- George Sr.: Faith is a fact. No, faith is a facet. I almost said faith is a fact.
- George Sr.: [in the present] I am going to trial because you don't understand what a blooper reel is?
- George Sr.: I'm paying thousands of dollars in Krugerrands.
- Lindsay Funke: What?
- George Sr.: Gold Krugerrands. Your mother snuck them in here, stuffed them in energy bar wrappers to keep me from getting strangled in the shower or worse.
- Lindsay Funke: Stabbed?
- George Sr.: In a way. I use them to pay off the other guys to stop them from hollering obscenities at my... my little girl. But you keep coming back here, honey, and I'm going broke.
- Lindsay Funke: [Touched] That's all I've ever wanted from you, Daddy- for you to spend money on me.
- Michael: My mom is very stressed out, and she needs something I can't give her, um... maybe a little "afternoon delight".
- Narrator: Oscar thought that Michael was referring to a particular brand of cannabis named Afternoon Deelite, a strain famous for slowing behavior.
- Oscar: Well sure, my question is, which way do I try to get it in her?
- Michael: I don't need any details.
- Oscar: Maybe I'll put it in her brownie
- Michael: Hey.
- Narrator: After being arrested, George Sr. found a loophole in the Mexican judicial system...
- George Sr.: [holds up wad of cash] I have...
- [clears throat]
- George Sr.: ... I have money
- George Sr.: [George Sr. is hiding in the attic, Michael brings him some food] Does Pop-pop get a treat?
- Michael: No, Pop-pop does not get a treat, I just brought you a fucking pizza.
- George Sr.: Listen... Let him go. Let your son go.
- Michael: I can't do that, Dad. He needs me.
- George Sr.: Michael, you don't want to make the same mistake your mom made with Buster.
- Michael: Yeah, boy. What happened there?
- George Sr.: I really don't know. Maybe it was the eleven months he spent in the womb. The doctor said there were claw marks on the walls of her uterus. But he was her "miracle baby." And I-I was just too burnt out on raising you guys to care. So... he turned out a little soft, you know, a little doughy.
- [Buster yawns next to him]
- George Sr.: I don't know, maybe it was my fault. Maybe, uh, maybe I just ignored the guy.
- [Buster finishes yawning although George Sr is ignoring him]
- Buster: Wow. We're just blowing through nap time, aren't we?
- Michael: Yeah, I got to let my son go.
- George Sr.: [via satellite from prison] Sorry, some of my students are arguing the significance of the shankbone on the seder plate. But we do not - not wag our genitals at one another to make a point.
- Michael Bluth: Look, you can't risk leaving the attic any more.
- George Sr.: When have you seen me outside?
- Michael Bluth: Yesterday at the Ford Dealer.
- George Sr.: Yeah, well, have you seen those new Mustangs? I'm telling you - you could hump the hood.
- Oscar: [Oscar grabs onto the dashboard] The car.
- George Sr.: Up yours Granny.
- Lucille: You couldn't handle it.
- Lucille: Oh, George, I should have never doubted you. Even when you slept with my sister it was for a good reason.
- George Sr.: Got her to stop drinking, didn't it?
- George Michael Bluth: [George Michael is finishing a eulogy for George Sr] I'll be bringing you some salmon rolls real soon.
- George Sr.: [watching from the attic] How many times I gotta tell this kid chicken wings?