George: [upon learning why the others brought him to the lake] You're a fuckin' lying son of a bitch, Sam! All right? And I hope you fuckin' go to hell.

Millie: Don't make things worse, George...

George: Shut the fuck up, Millie, you fucking stupid JAP cunt.

Clyde: Sit down, George, you're out of control.

George: Shut the fuck up, Clyde! You faggot! Fucking skinny butt-munching faggot. I hate you! You know that? I really do. 'Cause all you do is fuckin' prance around school talkin' about your fuckin' faggoty fairy fathers. I'll tell you what! I don't wanna hear about your fuckin' fathers and how their assholes work, all right? It makes me sick! And I - I - I fuckin' hope they fuckin' die of fag disease! Yeah.


George: And, and speaking of... dead... fathers... I just remembered why bonehead white-trash fuckin' donkey-dick Marty got so fuckin' freaked when I started talkin' about his "daddy." His Neanderthal, drunk dad put a gun in his mouth and splattered his brains all over the wall.


George: You know, I almost forgot that my mom told me that. She said, "His daddy splattered his brains all over the wall." I thought it was sad at first, but now? I like it.


George: His daddy splattered his brains. All over the wall. His daddy splattered his brains. All over the wall!...

George: So, let's see the penis! Bring on the penis!

[last lines]

George: My name is George... and this... is the inside of my mind.


George: The inside of my mind has a zillion things...


George: The inside of my mind has a zillion things about it but... people that don't see inside of my mind don't know there are a zillion things and... Y'know, since no one sees inside my mind, no one really knows. But... one day people will know. One day people will know 'cause that's my master plan. To film it all. To document every aspect of the life that is me. And put it in a time capsule in my backyard and so that one day some alien or some highly evolved species will find it and... understand.

George: [George takes a bite of the sandwich] Hmmm. Yum. Did you make these yourself? You'll, you'll have to give me the recipe some time.

Clyde: It's peanut butter and jelly.

Sam: I dare you to drop your pants, and your underwear, and show all of us that famous dick of yours for ten seconds.

Marty: Okay. All right, I will show you... because I am proud of my boys. But after this, no one is allowed to wimp out on any of their dares. Now, Millie, cover your eyes. Marty doesn't want to go to jail.

Marty: That's what you get when you fuck with Martini Blank!

Millie: [to Sam] If you could snap your fingers right now and he would drop dead in his tracks, would you do it?

Marty: Woo. Ah, ya... Nothing beats a good piss in the river. Except of course a good ole romping session of a stupid, ugly, dumb, pathetic piece of shit.

Rocky: Yeah, about that - I wanna call it off.

Marty: I'm not laughing.

Rocky: Dead serious.

Marty: You mean to tell me that you get me all juiced up over this, I steal my mother's car and come down here on a Saturday, when I could be at home, watching television? I'm out here on this river with a bunch of munchkins who are sober as hell and bringing me down... and now you tell me that we don't even get to do what we came here for?

Millie: Sam, what's going on here with George?

Sam: Oh, it's nothing bad. It's just a joke.

Millie: What kind of joke?

Sam: Well, we are planning on stripping him, throwing him in the river, and then we are gonna make him run home naked. We have a plan and it involves a dare.

Millie: A dare?

Sam: Yeah. See, the only reason I didn't tell you before...

[Sam gets interrupted by Millie]

Millie: Who said I wanted to be a part of this?

Sam: What about this?

[Sam snaps his fingers]

Millie: What's that?

Sam: If you could snap your fingers right now, and he would drop dead in his tracks, would you do it?

Millie: It's totally mean, Sam.

Sam: He's mean.

Millie: He's a stupid fat kid. He's got problems, but he's obviously... Promise me you won't do anything to him.

Sam: It's not just me.

Millie: Promise me or I go back to the car.

Sam: All right, I promise. I'll tell Rocky.

Rocky: What are you going to do?

Marty: I'm gonna drive to Mexico. What do you think?

Rocky: I don't know what to think.

Marty: Well if you don't know what to think, then you probably shouldn't be making decisions.

Millie: We'll never be forgiven for what we did.

Sam: You didn't do anything.

Millie: [crying] I don't wanna be here, I don't wanna be here.

George: Whoever didn't bring life jackets on a boat trip is a moron.

George: [as Marty drinks a beer while driving] Hey, Marty? My mom made me sign one of those contracts, telling her I wouldn't get in a car with a driver who's been drinking...

Marty: Oh, it's cool. My mom gave me permission to drink and drive. You don't have to worry about it.

George: Your mom must be pretty stupid to let your drive inebriated.

Marty: [Rocky scoffs] You're right, George. My mom *is* pretty stupid. In fact she's got one of those learning disability things.

George: Must be a pretty bad LD. I have an LD, but I should know you're not suppose to drive drunk.

Jasper: What are the paddles for?

Marty: We're going cow spanking.

Jasper: Cow spanking? What's that?

Marty: It's like cow tipping, only we spank.

Jasper: Really.

Rocky: Come on let's get this stuff and get out of here.

Jasper: While you boys are out cow spanking, Kile and I are gonna go pussy huntin'.

Marty: Good for you, Jasper.

Kile: [smacks Marty in the head] Hey, don't get sassy with my boy.

Jasper: You ever been pussy hunting?

[Kile holds a balloon up to Marty's face and squeezes it, so it looks like two pulsating balls]

Jasper: I didn't think so. You know how I knew? You got to have bait to catch one.

Rocky: Everyone else wants to call it off.

Marty: Everyone else is a vagina!

George: [beatboxing] Sammy, you love it, now don't you lie!/Rocky is a pimp/Clyde is a fag!

Marty: Hey, you guys ever hear when Rocky and I were kicking out here? We got some poison oak on our hands.

Rocky: This is a disgusting story.

Marty: Anyway, so we're out here and we got some poison oak on our hands. With all the beers we were drinkin' naturally we had to take a piss. Now I don't know if you're hip, Millie, but when a guy pisses he has to hold his pisser in his hands like so.

[Marty turns around to face Millie and uses both hands to hold a huge imaginary penis]

Millie: Thanks, Marty.

Marty: No, I'm not finished yet. Next morning when we woke up we both had totally chapped rashin' nuts!

Clyde: [on Marty's proposal to bury the body] We can't do that! It's nuts!

Marty: That's nuts? Oh, it's nuts! No, Clyde! Going to prison and getting raped every night for the rest of your cute little fucking lives is nuts!

Marty: [pointing a gun at a bottle] Kiss my ass, Mr.Shaham, kiss my ass, Mr. Estes, kiss my ass, Miss Johnson, kiss my ass, Mr. Rosenthal

[fires and misses]

Marty: Shit.

Kile: What are you doing with my shooter, twerp-face?

Marty: Target practice

Kile: It's 11 a.m. in the morning, for Christ's sake.

Marty: Most people are doing cartwheels by 11, Kile.

Kile: Aren't you supposed to be in school?

Marty: Fuck school, I don't see you in school, and besides... you're not Dad.

Kile: Come here...


Kile: Come here!

Kile: [pushes Marty's face to the ground] You're right, I'm not Dad, Dad didn't hit as hard as me, I don't really wanna hear about Dad, understand? You understand?

Marty: Yes.

Kile: Now hand me my gun you little stupid, if you ever take this without my permission again you'll be sorry, you understand?

Marty: Yes.

Kile: Get it?

Marty: Yes.

Marty: [grabs bat and smashes the glass bottle] Kiss my ass, Kile!

Rocky: You have to trust me on this one, Sam. I'm your big brother.

Sam: But I don't trust you.

Millie: Fuck you!

Sam: Hey, fuck you!

Millie: No! Fuck you!

Marty: I'm a man who likes to follow through with his plans.

Clyde: If anything, it's a beautiful day.

George: It smells like cherry blossoms.

Millie: How do you know what cherry blossoms smell like?

George: I know what they smell like!

Rocky: Does anybody really know what a cherry blossom is?

George: Duh, it's a blossom on a cherry.

Rocky: I don't know. I thought it was a blossom all on it's own. What do you think, Marty?

Marty: I think I'm bored as fuck.

Marty: What do you guys say we play some Truth or Dare?

George: Yeah. Yeah, I love that game.

Marty: Okay, let's do it.

Millie: No, let's not. People's feelings always end up hurt when we play this game.

Sam: Yeah, she's right.

George: God, Sam and Millie are a couple of little wet pussies, aren't they?

Marty: Clyde, do you wanna start?

Clyde: I dunno. I'm kind of with Sam and Millie on this one.

George: [pointing with his finger] Pussy number one, pussy number two, pussy number three.

Millie: Go ahead, Clyde. Start the game.

Millie: I don't wanna be here!

Sam: You know, when we graduate high school, and become doctors and lawyers and all that kind of stuff... what do you think it would be like?

[George turns the camera on Millie]

George: Have you ever been stoned, Millie?

Millie: [smirks] Will you please get that out of my face?

Jasper: What are the paddles for?

Marty: We're going cow-spanking.

Kile: What the fuck is cow-spanking?

Marty: Well, it's like cow-tipping, except we spank.

Sam: You know, if we hurt him, we'd be just as bad as him.

Rocky: We need to hurt him without really hurting him.

George: [George takes off his shoes and socks, before wadding into the water] Hey, you know I have athlete's foot?

[puts his foot in Millie's face]

Millie: [pushes George's foot away, and runs off] You are so disgusting!

Marty: I say we smoke that ham!

Marty: You always gotta go with the best idea you've got. Otherwise, you're just left lying around - not knowing what to do.

Clyde: [crying] I'm sorry...

Marty: Close your eyes ,Millie, Marty's not getting sent to jail.

[Millie covers her eyes]

Sam: What do you think's going to happen, Marty? Superman's gonna fly on Earth and turn back time?

Marty: No, I don't think Superman's going to turn back time.

Millie: We can never be forgiven for what we did.

Detective Wright: When your brother pushed George into the river, would you say he was in control, or out of control?

Sam: [after the ranger leaves the interrogation room] I've never seen him more out of control in my life.

George: [Josh sets his camera down and starts shooting baskets on the basketball court; Sam notices Josh's camera and picks it up, looking at it]

[first lines]

George: Hey! What do you think you're doing?

[knocks over Sam; the camera falls over a fence and lands on the ground, only showing Josh in frame fighting over Sam]

George: You're a punk, Sam! I ought to kill you!

[kids start gathering around the scene]

George: You fucking dickhead! I told you to never touch my camera!

Sam: Stop!

[is pushed down to the ground, still fighting Josh]

George: Didn't I? Fucker! You little wimp! Bitch! Pussy! I told you! I ought to fucking kill you!

[strangles Sam with his arm]

George: And I will kill you, you little punk, if I ever catch you fucking with my camera again.

[sets him down and leaves the scene]

George: Get out of my way!

Rocky: Okay, I think I got one. Tie him to a tree, pour some honey on his face, and leave him there all day and night.

Sam: Why?

Rocky: It's for the bugs, so they get on him and bite him.

Sam: No, we can't do that.

Rocky: Why not?

Sam: Well, what if a bear came along?

Clyde: [Marty holds a joint in front of Clyde's face] What'd I tell you?

Marty: You don't smoke herb?

Clyde: Yeah, so get it out of my face.

Marty: Faggot.

Marty: [Clyde gives disapproving look] Clydo, I'm just fucking with you, your not a faggot, all right? Okay? Fist bump? Fist bump?

[Clyde bumps his fist]

Marty: All right zero kill.

Marty: Besides, I like your dads, Clyde, I never knew any homosexual men personally until I met them, they're not so bad.

[in mocking feminine voice]

Marty: Don't you think so Rocky?

Millie: Oh shit. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. Wake up. Wake up! Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up! God, wake up!