Joel Stein: [On "Land of the Lost"] Steven Spielberg really ripped them off with "Jurassic Park."

Hal Sparks: My pet rock attacked my little brother, and we had it euthanized.

Kermit the Frog: [on streaking] I don't see what the big deal is. I'm naked right now. I guess when you're human you have more parts to flop around.

Hal Sparks: James Bond had to get with the sistas to compete for that Shaft dolla.

Michael Ian Black: "Young Frankenstein" is the funniest black-and-white movie ever, even funnier than "Schindler's List."