The Da Vinci Code (2006) Poster

Ian McKellen: Sir Leigh Teabing



  • Robert Langdon : This is the original icon for male. It's a rudimentary phallus.

    Sophie Neveu : Quite to the point.

    Sir Leigh Teabing : Yes, indeed.

    Robert Langdon : This is know as the blade. It represents aggression and manhood. It's a symbol still used today in modern military uniforms.

    Sir Leigh Teabing : Yes, the more penises you have, the higher your rank. Boys will be boys.

  • Sir Leigh Teabing : It's called scotoma. The mind sees what it choses to see.

  • [Langdon is speaking into the intercom at the gate of Teabing's house] 

    Sir Leigh Teabing : Robert! Do I owe you money?

    Robert Langdon : Leigh... my friend... care to, uh, care to open up for an old colleague?

    Sir Leigh Teabing : Of course.

    Robert Langdon : Thank you.

    [Sophie goes to shut the car door] 

    Sir Leigh Teabing : But first, a test of honor. Three questions.

    Robert Langdon : [somewhat annoyed]  Fire away.

    Sir Leigh Teabing : Your first. Shall I serve coffee or tea?

    Robert Langdon : Tea, of course.

    Sir Leigh Teabing : Excellent. Second. Milk or lemon?

    Sophie Neveu : Milk?

    Robert Langdon : That would depend on the tea.

    Sir Leigh Teabing : Correct. And now the third and most grave of inquiries. In which year did a Harvard sculler out-row an Oxford man at Henley?

    Robert Langdon : Surely such a travesty has never occurred.

    Sir Leigh Teabing : Your heart is true. You may pass.

  • Sir Leigh Teabing : [to Sophie]  Can you keep secrets? Can you know a thing and never say it again? And codes? I imagine they lie down for *you* like lovers.

  • Sir Leigh Teabing : The Good Book did not arrive by facsimile from heaven.

  • Sir Leigh Teabing : And he who keeps the keys to Heaven rules the world.

  • Sir Leigh Teabing : And this is from the gospel of Mary Magdalene herself.

    Sophie Neveu : She wrote a gospel?

    Robert Langdon : She may have.

    Sir Leigh Teabing : Robert, will you fight fair?

    Robert Langdon : She *may* have.

  • Sir Leigh Teabing : As long as there has been... one true God, there has been killing in his name.

  • Robert Langdon : This is an old wives' tale.

    Sir Leigh Teabing : The original one, in fact.

  • Sir Leigh Teabing : If it's so important for you to stop us, then you're just going to have to shoot us.

    [nods to indicate Remy] 

    Sir Leigh Teabing : You can start with him.

  • Sophie Neveu : Who is she?

    Sir Leigh Teabing : My dear, that's Mary Magdalene.

    Sophie Neveu : The prostitute?

    Sir Leigh Teabing : [insulted]  She was no such thing. Smeared by the Church in 591 anno Domini. Poor dear. Mary Magdalene was Jesus' wife.

  • Robert Langdon : Constantine did not create Jesus' divinity. He simply sanctioned an already widely-held idea.

    Sir Leigh Teabing : Semantics.

    Robert Langdon : No, it's not semantics. You're... you're interpreting facts to support your own conclusions.

    Sir Leigh Teabing : Fact: for many Christians, Jesus was mortal one day and divine the next.

    Robert Langdon : For some Christians, his divinity was enhanced.

    Sir Leigh Teabing : Oh, absurd. There was even a formal announcement of his promotion.

    Robert Langdon : They couldn't even agree on the Nicene Creed!

  • Robert Langdon : Now, as you can imagine, the female symbol is its exact opposite. This is called the chalice.

    Sir Leigh Teabing : And the chalice resembles a cup or vessel, or more importantly, the shape of a woman's womb. No, the Grail has never been a cup. It is quite literally this ancient symbol of womanhood. And in this case, a woman who carried a secret so powerful that if revealed, it would devastate the very foundations of Christianity.

    Sophie Neveu : Wait, please. You're saying the Holy Grail is a person? A woman?

    Sir Leigh Teabing : [indicating "The Last Supper"]  And it turns out, she makes an appearance right there.

    Sophie Neveu : Hmm. But they are all men.

    Sir Leigh Teabing : Are they? What about that figure on the right hand of our Lord seated in the place of honor, hmm? Flowing red hair. Folded feminine hands. Hint of a bosom, no?

  • Sir Leigh Teabing : Did that old cannabis charge finally catch up with me?

  • Robert Langdon : [during a very bumpy ride in a jeep]  Jesus!

    Sir Leigh Teabing : Apropos.

  • Sir Leigh Teabing : [to Langdon and Sophie, as he watches on the security monitor the French police tearing down the gates of Château Villette]  Well, I must say, you two are anything but dull.

  • Sir Leigh Teabing : A dramatic late-night arrival. What can an old cripple do for you, Robert?

    Robert Langdon : We want to talk about the... Priory of Sion.

    Sir Leigh Teabing : The keepers? The secret war?

    Robert Langdon : Sorry for all the-the... the mystery. Leigh, I-I-I'm into something here that I cannot understand.

    Sir Leigh Teabing : You? Really?

    Robert Langdon : Not without your help.

    Sir Leigh Teabing : Playing to my vanity, Robert. You should be ashamed.

    Robert Langdon : Not if it works.

  • Sir Leigh Teabing : And then, my dear, Jesus goes on to tell Mary Magdalene that it's up to her to continue his Church. Mary Magdalene, not Peter. The Church was supposed to be carried on by... a woman. Few realize that Mary was descended from kings, just as her husband was. Now, my dear, the word in French for "Holy Grail".

    Sophie Neveu : Le Saint Graal.

    Sir Leigh Teabing : From the Middle English, Sangreal, of the original Arthurian legend. Now, as two words. Can you translate for our friend?

    Sophie Neveu : Sang real. It means "royal blood."

    Sir Leigh Teabing : When the legend speaks of the chalice that held the blood of Christ, it speaks, in fact, of the female womb that carried Jesus' royal bloodline.

    Sophie Neveu : But how could Christ have a bloodline, unless...

    Sir Leigh Teabing : Mary was pregnant at the time of the crucifixion. For her own safety and for that of Christ's unborn child, she fled the Holy Land and came to France. And here, it is said, she gave birth to a daughter, Sarah.

    Sophie Neveu : They know the child's name.

    Robert Langdon : A little girl.

    Sir Leigh Teabing : Yes.

    Robert Langdon : If that were true, it's adding insult to injury.

    Sophie Neveu : Why?

    Robert Langdon : The pagans found transcendence through the joining of male to female.

    Sophie Neveu : People found God through sex?

    Robert Langdon : In paganism, women were worshipped as a route to heaven, but the modern Church has a monopoly on that in salvation through Jesus Christ.

  • Sir Leigh Teabing : I trust you recognize "The Last Supper," the great fresco by Leonardo da Vinci. And, my dear, if you would close your eyes.

    Robert Langdon : Oh, Leigh, save us the parlor tricks.

    Sir Leigh Teabing : You asked for my help, I recall. Allow an old man his indulgences. Now, mademoiselle, where is Jesus sitting?

    Sophie Neveu : In the middle.

    Sir Leigh Teabing : Good. He and his disciples are breaking bread. And... what drink?

    Sophie Neveu : Wine. They drank wine.

    Sir Leigh Teabing : Splendid. And one final question: how many wine glasses are there on the table?

    Sophie Neveu : One? The Holy Grail?

    Sir Leigh Teabing : Open your eyes.

    [she does so and looks at the painting] 

    Sir Leigh Teabing : No single cup. No chalice. Well, that's a bit strange, isn't it? Considering both the Bible and standard Grail legend celebrate this moment as the definitive arrival of the Holy Grail. Now, Robert, you could be of help to us. If you'd be so kind as to show us the symbols for man and woman, please.

    Robert Langdon : Oh. No balloon animals. Huh.

    [Leigh laughs] 

    Robert Langdon : I can make a great duck.

  • Robert Langdon : Women, then, are a huge threat to the Church. The Catholic Inquisition soon publishes what may be the most blood-soaked book in human history.

    Sir Leigh Teabing : The Malleus Maleficarum.

    Robert Langdon : The Witches' Hammer.

    Sir Leigh Teabing : It instructed the clergy on how to locate, torture, and kill all free-thinking women.

    Robert Langdon : In three centuries of witch hunts, 50,000 women are captured, burned alive at the stake.

    Sir Leigh Teabing : Oh, at least that. Some say millions. Imagine then, Robert, that Christ's throne might live on in a female child. You asked what would be worth killing for. Witness the greatest cover-up in human history. This is the secret that the Priory of Sion has defended for over 20 centuries. They are the guardians of the royal bloodline. The keepers of the proof of our true past. They are the protectors of the living descendants of Jesus Christ... and Mary Magdalene.

  • Robert Langdon : There's virtually no empirical proof.

    Sir Leigh Teabing : He knows as well as I do there's much evidence to support it.

    Robert Langdon : Theories. There are theories.

    Sir Leigh Teabing : Notice how Jesus and Mary are clothed. Mirror images of each other.

    Robert Langdon : The mind sees what it chooses to see.

    Sir Leigh Teabing : And venturing into the even more bizarre, uh, notice how Jesus and Mary appear to be joined at the hip and are leaning away from each other as if to create a shape in the negative space between them. Leonardo gives us the chalice.

    Robert Langdon : Hmm.

    Sir Leigh Teabing : Yes. Oh, and, Robert, notice what happens when these two figures change position.

    [as he swaps them, it appears that Mary is leaning on Jesus' shoulder] 

    Sophie Neveu : Just because da Vinci painted it doesn't make it true.

    Sir Leigh Teabing : No. But history, she does make it true. Now listen to this. It's from the gospel according to Philip.

    Sophie Neveu : Philip?

    Sir Leigh Teabing : Yes, it was rejected at the Council of Nicaea along with any other gospels that made Jesus appear human and not divine. "And the companion of the Savior is Mary Magdalene. Christ loved her more than all the disciples and used to kiss her on the..."

    Sophie Neveu : But this says nothing of marriage.

    Sir Leigh Teabing : Well, actually, um... Robert.

    Robert Langdon : Actually, in those days, the word "companion" literally meant "spouse."

  • Sir Leigh Teabing : You have not been honest with me. Your pictures are on the television. You are wanted for four murders!

    Robert Langdon : That's why Vernet said "killing spree."

    Sir Leigh Teabing : You come into my home, playing on my passions for the Grail.

    Robert Langdon : That's why he needed you, Sophie.

    Sir Leigh Teabing : You will leave my house!

    Robert Langdon : Leigh, listen!

    Sir Leigh Teabing : No. I'm calling the police.

    Robert Langdon : Jacques Sauniere was her grandfather. You're the obsessive Priory scholar, Leigh. You still keep lists of who might be in the Priory? I'll bet Jacques Sauniere was on one of those lists. He was on your list of who could be Grand Master, wasn't he?

    Sophie Neveu : What?

    Robert Langdon : I'll bet he was right at the top. Consider: four men murdered? The same number as the guardians. What if the Priory was compromised? The other senechaux dead? What if you yourself were dying, a Grand Master? You'd have to pass on the secret to someone you could trust. Someone outside the society. Maybe someone... whose training you had begun but never finished.

    Sir Leigh Teabing : Robert, your ruse is pathetic.

    Robert Langdon : [showing him the cryptex container]  Not really.

    Sir Leigh Teabing : No, that's impossible. Can that really... is it the keystone?

    Robert Langdon : I'll even show it to you, Leigh. Will you just tell us what the hell it's for?

  • Sir Leigh Teabing : The Priory's members span our very globe itself.

    Robert Langdon : Philippe de Cherisey exposed that as a hoax in 1967.

    Sir Leigh Teabing : And that is what they want you to believe. The Priory is charged with a single task: to protect the greatest secret in modern history.

    Sophie Neveu : The source of God's power on Earth.

    Sir Leigh Teabing : Oh, no, that's a common misunderstanding. The Priory protects the source of the Church's power on Earth: the Holy Grail.

    Sophie Neveu : I don't understand. What power? Some... magic dishes?

    Sir Leigh Teabing : [chuckling]  Oh, Robert. Has he been telling you that the Holy Grail is a cup?

  • Sir Leigh Teabing : The Bible, as we know it, was finally presided over by one man: the pagan emperor Constantine.

    Sophie Neveu : I thought Constantine was a Christian.

    Sir Leigh Teabing : Oh, hardly, no. He was a lifelong pagan, who was baptized on his deathbed. Constantine was Rome's supreme holy man. From time immemorial, his people had worshipped a balance between nature's male deities and the goddess or sacred feminine. But a growing religious turmoil was gripping Rome. Three centuries earlier, a young Jew named Jesus had come along, preaching love and a single God. Centuries after his crucifixion, Christ's followers had grown exponentially and had started a religious war against the pagans.

    Robert Langdon : Or did the pagans commence war against the Christians? Leigh, we can't be sure who began the atrocities in that period.

    Sir Leigh Teabing : But we can at least agree that the conflict grew to such proportions that it threatened to tear Rome in two.

    [Langdon shrugs an agreement] 

    Sir Leigh Teabing : So Constantine may have been a, uh, lifelong pagan, but he was also a pragmatist. And in 325 anno Domini, he decided to unify Rome under a single religion: Christianity.

    Robert Langdon : Christianity was on the rise. He didn't want his empire torn apart.

    Sir Leigh Teabing : And to strengthen this new Christian tradition, Constantine held a famous ecumenical gathering known as the Council of Nicaea. And at this council, the many sects of Christianity debated and, uh, voted on, well, everything from the acceptance and rejection of specific gospels to the date for Easter to the administering of the sacraments, and, of course... the immortality of Jesus.

    Sophie Neveu : I don't follow.

    Sir Leigh Teabing : Well, ma chere, until that moment in history, Jesus was viewed by many of his followers as a mighty prophet, as a great and powerful man, but a man nevertheless. A mortal man.

    Sophie Neveu : Not the son of God?

    Sir Leigh Teabing : Not even his nephew twice removed.

  • Silas : [to Sophie]  Do not move, woman.

    Silas : [to Teabing]  Cripple... Put the box on the table.

    Sir Leigh Teabing : What, this trifle? Well... perhaps we can... make a financial arrangement.

    Silas : Put the keystone... on the table.

    Sir Leigh Teabing : You will not succeed... Only the worthy can unlock the stone.

    [Silas turns gun on Teabing, pulls hammer back] 

  • Sir Leigh Teabing : As long as there has been a one true God, there has been killing in his name.

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