Santa Claus: I'm Santa Claus, not fuckin' Dracula!
Nicholas Yuleson: The clock just struck midnight at the pole. Christmas is officially over for you, Santa!
Santa Claus: You know, most people make the same mistake. The correct time at the pole is completely discretionary, because the poles are where all the time zones actually converge.
Mary "Mac" Mackenzie: He's scary, yet educational.
Mr. Green: Here you go.
[hands Mrs Talbot her sandwich]
Mr. Green: And have a very happy holiday there Mrs Talbot.
Mrs. Talbot: Don't use that political language shit with me, it's Christmas so wish me merry Christmas?
Mr. Green: I'm sorry. Merry christmas Mrs Talbot
Mrs. Talbot: Thank you... now go fuck yourself. What a fucking whore.
Santa Claus: Looks like Grandpa got run over by a reindeer.
Santa Claus: [while reading a copy of the book 'A Christmas Carol' in the school library] Boy, Christmas can sure scare the Dickens out of people.
Gwen Mason: [panicked, desperately] I've been good!
[Santa hits her with a table leg]
Nicholas Yuleson: We're trapped in closet on Christmas with Santa trying to murder us. How fucked up is that?
Nicholas Yuleson: You're gonna need to suck it in.
[Nicholas sees that mac is stuck in the window]
Mary "Mac" Mackenzie: You're in the need for some top.
[Nicholas poises his hands above Mac's chest, hesistant on what comes next]
Mary "Mac" Mackenzie: I swear to god Nicholas, am I going to have to make every first move in this relationship?
[Mac places Nicholas's hands on her breasts so he can push her through the window]
Santa Claus: [smirking while he's reading his list] Who's next?
Santa Claus: Christmas is over when I say it's over!