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  • Okay, sometimes I think the critics are all single "non-family" people. I just got back from viewing this movie with 7 adults and 11 children. It was wonderful to watch the kids giggle and hurrah at Vin Diesel, tough guy, nice guy, real softie routine. Whether he was kicking bad guys or changing diapers, he was great. While there were many clichés and material we've all seen in other forms, we sometime forget that this stuff works. My child is 8 and this is fresh to him. I'm so please that we were able to bring 18 people of varying ages who all had a good time. I say forget the negatives and focus on what we sometimes forget, an afternoon or evening with you kids is the best pacifier.
  • I was fortunate to win tickets to a preview of this movie from a local radio station,for myself and my three daughters (9,11 and 14). I did not expect to enjoy this movie, and was simply glad to be there for their sake. It was very entertaining and Vin Diesel did a great job, especially considering it was a comedy. Often when an action star attempts comedy it fails miserably. I rate this movie 8 out of 10 stars, and my daughters all loved it as well. We talked and laughed about it all the way home. I am certain that a few of the catch phrases will be with us for a while. This movie was a blast. Disney did a great job with this one.
  • Okay, first this movie is great for what it is meant to be, a family friendly comedy romp. It has funny moments, touching moments, it gives you chuckles and even a few laughs. It isn't trying to win awards or stun the audience with special effects. You sit down, watch it, laugh a little, think about how cute the kids are, then go on with the rest of your day. A lot of action stars have taken a turn at comedy to soften their image, Stallone and Arnold S. to name a couple, so Vin Diesel is in good company there. I think it is a decent, light movie worth at least a matinée viewing. The kids are charmers, Vin Diesel doesn't seem to mind being the but of jokes, and most of the acting is good. And ladies, he spends most of the movie in tight t-shirts, and according to my wife has a nice posterior region. Guys you have to settle for Lauren Graham's sweet smile.
  • In brief: "A bit more cutesy than "Kindergarten Cop," but more family-friendly, and Vin Diesel shows his versatility."

    I don't usually attend screenings for kids' movies, but when I first found out about this film, I was very curious to see how Vin Diesel would do in a kid's film. I've liked Vin Diesel ever since "Pitch Black", and while some may dismiss him as a muscle-bound action workhorse, I've long thought that there was more to him lurking behind that facade, and remembering the skepticism that greeted Arnold Schwarzenegger's attempts at comedy—skepticism that was greeted with what I thought were successful turns in "Twins" and "Kindergarten Cop", I was curious to see how successfully Diesel would play against type.

    The result is a family film more cutesy and farcical than "Kindergarten Cop", (the model my mind kept going back to for comparison), with an unfortunately greater focus on infant waste products, but greater conflict between Diesel and his young charges, which lends itself to more heartwarming moments of rapport-building.

    Diesel plays Lt. Shane Wolfe, a Navy SEAL assigned to protect the five children of a top scientist (Tate Donovan), and find a hidden computer program that may be secreted in his house while their mother (Faith Ford) and Wolfe's C.O. journey to Zurich to try and find the right code word for the scientist's safety deposit box. A simple assignment, it seems, except these kids have issues. Eldest son Seth is defiant, suffers bullying from fellow students and the school's V.P., and is negligent in his wrestling team responsibilities. Oldest daughter Zoe ("American Dreams"'s Brittany Snow) is truant in her Driver's Ed class, and willfully disobedient. The problems of the youngest three, Lulu, Peter, and Tyler, seem simpler, but are no less mountainous for Wolfe, who first tries addressing these problems with the roughshod military discipline he's accustomed to, but soon finds himself changing tactics by listening to these kids' problems, and helping them out more as a parent than a military bodyguard. Whereas Schwarzenegger's character was instantly ingratiated with the object of his protection in "Kindergarten Cop" by becoming friends and eventually boyfriend to his mom, and merely had to win his class' attention, here Wolfe has the more difficult task of cutting through the layers of resentment in a pair of teenagers, taking care of an infant and two young children, and protecting them from assassins that come crashing through windows, which lends itself to both some genuinely warm moments when he opens up to Seth and Zoe, and some surprisingly interesting but funny action sequences that seem evocative of Jackie Chan, with a really nice setup-and-payoff when Wolfe realizes the secret to getting to the computer program.

    This is obviously a film geared more for the kids, as evidenced by the kooky overacting, the silly Swiss stereotypes (which I didn't even realized existed), and the goofy actions on the part of the bad guys, such as the revelation, for example, that squirting a juice box into a bad guy's face is akin to spraying it with acid (and somehow keeps the bad guy from falling backward in response), but while that may be a let-down to the older folk, the parents will probably be pleased, since I recall some parents being upset with the more adult scenes in "Kindergarten Cop".

    The bottom line is, bring the kids to see it, but if unless you're a die-hard Diesel fan, and want to see anything he does, it probably won't be your cup of tea if you're past grade school.
  • dmturner5 March 2005
    Probably one of my most enjoyable movie experiences ever. My (22-year-old) daughter and her friend are Vin Diesel fans, and I like stupid movies, so we went off to see this with no particular expectations. It was delightful! The acting was good, the writing was just off-kilter enough to surprise, and the plot, while predictable, was only predictable a few seconds in advance (which is about how long it took for Vin Diesel's character to process a thought). Our little group of cynics was charmed and quoting lines from the movie all the way home afterwards. We agreed that it was indeed a Disney movie, but it didn't have the cheesy hollowness and wannabe withitness that has hampered those productions since Hayley Mills was my age. Bits of it were unexpectedly moving. Vin Diesel's little side romance was also charming, with a breath of gentle kinkiness ("On land, you're the superior officer," he says to his honey, and she smirks.) Basically it was funny, stupid, and sweet without being annoying, and Vin Diesel was excellent in it. I'll buy it when it comes out in video, or my daughter will--she works in a trendy video store, so that she liked the movie is saying a lot.
  • alexanderb-417 October 2006
    It's not rocket science, but who cares. Turn off the brain, and sit down with the kids for a good solid family comedy. Vin Diesel plays a tough guy with a big heart, he just has to find it. In the process he helps to save the world and defeat the bad guys. The children playing the Plummer family work well together, you could believe that they could be a real family (problems and all). Lauren Graham plays the principal of the school and the "love" interest for Vin Diesel very well. Their attraction is "cute" but not overdone. Brad Garrett as the vice-principal provides the off the wall character that is often presented in this script formula. His character was probably one of the main characters that could have been written better, but was passable. Pop the popcorn for a bit of a corny film and have some fun
  • If you liked Kindergarten Cop, there's a good chance you'll like this film. It's in a similar vein, the plot of the hardened male (Vin Deisel) forced to deal with multiple children. But this movie could've been better. I thought a lot of the action scenes seemed forced and a little on the ridiculous side. I love ninjas, but they just weren't well-played. But the side-plots involving the children's school were mostly entertaining, Morgan York (Lulu) stole the show, and Brad Garret (Vice Principal Murney) was hysterical. Scott Thompson (the Director) was also quite funny, but I would've liked to see more of him. So though I found the action portions disappointing, your kids would probably like the movie and you won't be too tortured.
  • Warning: Spoilers
    Vin is in! Navy Seal and all for one military trained animal, Capt. Shane Wolfe, after a botched assignment, gets reassigned, ---to protect and keep the Plummer family safe while the living parent takes care of business for the other parent, who has been killed suddenly.

    To a bunch of 'slackers' in the Plummer family, they are about to get a major dose of military styled discipline!! And this they will not soon forget. Five young tyrants and a duck, are being protected by specialist Wolfe. When the objective for the wife is finally acquired, Wolfe is laying down the law with the young ones and along with some defiant behavior, these kids start to realize who is in their best interest. After the baby care lady leaves and the door to the oldest brother's room is kicked down, along with the oldest sister , Zoe attempting to assault Shane and getting sent to her room, not to mention Mr. Plummer's pet duck biting Shane too, they start to come together. Then the news that mom is returning home, just in time for a small double-cross, for the 'Ghost' by the not so 'nice' neighbors. When holding Shane and the cops hostage, he calls Shane the duck whisperer, because he is attempting to whisper secret instructions to the duck. That cracked me up. This was good stuff! Fun, and funny without any trash, family comedy that everyone can enjoy! By the way Brad Garrett is outstanding as the aggressive, insecure and 'menacing', wrestling coach and Vice Principal! What a great casting pick.

    Recommended highly, Vin Diesel and company are picture perfect.(****)
  • Vin Diesel? In a Comedy? Yes! And he's awesome! I'm hoping this doesn't indicate a genre change for Diesel-I love watching his actioners, but when he decides he needs to retire, he should definitely give comedy a sincere consideration. This wasn't "awesome," but it was highly enjoyable.

    The premise has been done before...when I saw the previews for this work, I thought, "Just another Suburban Commando ripoff." I'm happy to report that this endeavor is so much more than that, and stands alone, without any connection to that work than a military character in a suburban setting. Everything else is different, and well executed by these gifted child actors and Vin Diesel in his most lovable role.

    I highly recommend this work to any family who are looking for something worthy in which to invest their movie time.

    It rates a 7.6/10 from...

    the Fiend :.
  • esn1g4 March 2005
    Warning: Spoilers
    The Story: After failing to save a scientist - not his fault, just to be clear - Navy SeAL Shane Wolf (Vin Diesel) is assigned to watch over the man's children while their mother helps the government retrieve a program that he was working on. Cue wackiness!

    The Good: Hey, it's funny! Which is strange, since I went into it expecting extreme lameness at every turn. Which, yah, it had a share of jokes that fell flat and stuff that just didn't really work, but the good, honest laughs in it far outweighed the bad.

    Vin Diesel does well in his role . . . but then he's been playing the badass character for a while, so it's nothing really new for him. He's taken well to the humor aspect also. He managed to pull off a harried super-disciplinarian quite well.

    The children are all great, too. The little ones are especially adorable. And the connection that's forged between all of them feels quite genuine and touching.

    The harness that Shane wears throughout the movie is awesome. Military meets soccer mom . . . I like it.

    The Bad: Not original in the least. Seems like hardly anything is nowadays. There are a number of jokes that are recycled directly from other movies of this type, even. Maybe not done as well as in this one, but still. And the story moves along pretty much as one would expect. They were obviously trying to be predictable and comfortable as possible . . . this is a family flick, after all.

    The beginning of the movie (the first fifteen to twenty minutes, I'd say) moves EXTREMELY FAST, jumping from one bit to the other at almost breakneck speed. The movie is pretty long as it is (I didn't keep exact track or anything, but surely it can't possibly be 91 minutes!), so I'm guessing that this is because a lot of cuts were made, and most of them were concentrated up front. The main problem with this is that there's a real difficulty feeling anything concerning the family's loss until much later in the movie. Up to that later point, there's just sort of a sense of "Eh, so what?"

    There's some cops that show up at the end. And . . . well, they don't really do anything. Seemed like the filmmakers just had some budget padding they wanted to liquidate right quick.

    The Deal: Virtually everything about this movie - from the story to the characters on down - hits its target demographic right on the mark. It's a perfect flick if you want to bundle up the kids and the spouse and head out for a fun couple of hours. And even if you don't have kids or a spouse, check it out anyway. It's got enough chuckles and full out belly laugh moments in it for everyone.
  • Warning: Spoilers
    I did not really know what to expect from Director Adam Shankman's "The Pacifier" starring very serious action star, Vin Diesel. Shankman had done well with "Bringing Down the House" with Queen Latifa and Steve Martin. So having Vin Diesel as a no nonsense Navy SEAL protecting a family of 5 kids in the middle of suburbia in a Disney release, no less, seemed like an artistic stretch. To "The Pacifier"'s credit, it works. "The Pacifier" is predictable, and shamelessly sentimental at times, which is expected. Through it's charm, family message (invariably centered around discipline), and likable characters, "The Pacifier" becomes one of those rare commodities-- great family entertainment. I am a fan of Vin Diesel. In "The Pacifier" he proves to be a deft straight man. Props for Diesel. He is going out on a limb with his action hero persona, particularly in a hilarious bit with the "Panda Dance". Diesel is still a commanding physical presence, though this outing as a kinder, gentler Navy SEAL, Shane Wolfe, may hold promise for his longevity. He really displays a flair for light comedy. He has the kind of charm where he is never over shadowed by the cute kids-- that is no small feat.

    Outwardly, Diesel's Navy SEAL Lt. Shane Wolfe is the powerful leader of men, whose team is sent to rescue scientist Howard Plummer (Tate Donovan), from Bosnian terrorists. In the thrilling operation Shane is able to rescue Plummer. However, in an apparent betrayal Plummer is murdered and Shane is left for dead. Shane recovers, and is assigned by his commander Capt. Bill Fawcett (a good Chris Potter) to safe guard the Plummer family. Turns out that Howard Plummer invented a strategic warning system called GHOST. Fawcett and Plummer's widow (the charming and beautiful Faith Ford) are off to Zurich to retrieve the contents of Howard's deposit box. Both the software and hardware for GHOST are missing and their location unknown. Things don't go as planned in Zurich-- really shocking, well not really. So what was supposed to be a weekend of babysitting turns in to an extended assignment for Shane and the Plummer kids.

    Shane can run a complex and dangerous operation behind enemy lines in his sleep. Dealing with teenagers, being a Girl Scout Den Mother, and changing a baby's diaper, now that is really tough for this combat veteran SEAL. Zoe (Brittany Snow), the oldest daughter, has boys on her mind, as well as getting her driver's license. Zoe has taken the loss of her father to heart, and puts on the teenage bravado to reassure her siblings. Seth (Max Theriot) ditches wrestling practice, because his passion is theater, and playing a lead in "The Sound of Music". Lulu (Morgan York) is the not so confident Girl Scout, being bullied by some Boy Scouts at the local Costco. York steals the movie. Peter (Kegan and Logan Hoover) is not toilet trained. Tyler (Bo and Luke Vink) is the baby with the digestion issues. These are all good touches.

    Predictably Shane (Diesel) reveals his big heart when it comes to the Plummer kids. What is well done is that Shane's demand for discipline is unwaivering in the process. Discipline is like breathing for Shane, but it is tempered by respect, honor, and compassion. No one will be harmed under Shane's watch. The screenplay by Thomas Lennon and Ben Garant provides the atmosphere for this apparent evolution of Shane. Lennon and Garant allow Shane's methods to remain unchanged while he really gets to know what is important to the Plummer kids, and ultimately shares himself. Diesel has a nice scene where he tells Zoe about his father. There is a great comic touch when Shane takes over as Director of "The Sound of Music", seeing how important it is for Seth. When he schools Seth's wrestling coach, Murney (good goofy Brad Garrett) in the art of hand-to-hand combat, it is hilarious. Shane's scenes with Lulu (York) are priceless, and pulls at the harp strings. They are allowed. Ultimately, "The Pacifier" is about family, and making someone part of your family. This may sound corny, and it worked for me.

    Shankman has made a surprisingly satisfying and entertaining movie in "The Pacifier". This is one for the whole family. Vin Diesel's venture into a kinder and gentler persona was a risk that paid off. This action star has other gifts. "The Pacifier" is well worth seeing.
  • One of the better comedies from the Walt Disney Studios in the past several years has been the Pacifier. If Arnold Schwarzenegger can manage kindergarten, than Vin Diesel can certainly babysit a whole family of a scientist who's been killed under mysterious circumstances.

    Tate Donovan was doing some top secret work for the government and whoever killed him didn't get what they want. That puts his family in danger. Vin Diesel's been sent to protect them.

    Of course getting into their lives wasn't included in the bargain. Mother Faith Ford has a handful with her kids who range from the teens down to the toddler. The handful is now dumped on Diesel.

    Diesel's tough guy screen image is nicely played against by the kids. Look for a very nice performance by Brad Garrett as a blowhard assistant principal who Diesel puts nicely in his place.

    For the conclusion, the film glides effortlessly back into the action genre we're more familiar with in Vin Diesel films.

    Nice film for the whole family and try to learn the Andy Panda dance.
  • The picture talks about a Navy Seal soldier named Wolf(Vin Diesel) is assigned by his chief(Chris Potter) the mission to protect the Plummer family(Brittany Snow among others) but their father(Tate Donovan :OC) has been murdered.The enemies are thinking that a top secret issues encounter into kids's home.Meanwhile their mother(Faith Ford: Murphy Brown)is out and the undercover agent must to keep the familiar order and care the children and teens ,while at the same time protecting the family from an attackers.Besides a foreigner servant(Carol Kane: When the stranger call )also flees from the house .Meantime he is enamored of the attractive professor of school(Lauren Grahan: Gilmore girls) of the kids.

    The picture displays continuous humor,laughters,noisy action and is pretty amusing.It's a blending of action, comedy and familiar film that will like to all family.The hunk Vin Diesel is enjoyable and likable as the soldier controlling the children with military methods.He suffers numerous jokes and misfortunes in charge of the children and confronting problems in his toughest mission.The film belong to the family-movies sub-genre whose maxim representation is ¨Your,mine and our¨ with Henry Fonda and Lucille Ball and recently remade with Dennis Quaid and Rene Russo, and ¨Cheaper by Dozen¨with Steve Martin and Bonnie Hunt whose second installment has been directed by Adam Shankman,the same director of this one.Lively and atmospheric musical score by John Debney(Sin city,Zahura,Passion of Christ)and adequate cinematography by Peter James.The motion picture is rightly directed by Shankman.If you like Diesel's agreeable playing ,you'll enjoy this one.
  • Vin Diesel plays Shane Wolfe, a disgraced Navy SEAL, assigned to protect the five children of a scientist who was murdered while working on government secrets. He quickly learns that taking care of kids is going to be the hardest assignment he's ever taken.

    The premise isn't very original but I was still expecting this to be a fun movie. However, The Pacifier is a lazy family film that only the kids will like. The screenwriters could have attempted to expand the audience but they didn't. They pretty much leave everyone over the age of 15 out of the fun. The movie only had one goal and that was to entertain the kids. For the most part, they succeeded even if they used cheap gags and annoying characters to get the job done. Well, I'm not too surprised the script is really weak since it was written by the same people who brought us Taxi. I know the Pacifier is supposed to be a fun, harmless movie but it was quite tortuous at times and I blame it on the lazy screenwriters.

    Vin Diesel is an okay actor. I can't see him winning an Oscar anytime soon but he's better than Paul Walker. His performance here wasn't very good though. It was rather dull and it wasn't very funny either. It's not really his fault since he was probably told to play his character seriously so that in awkward situations, he would seem to be funny but it backfired and made the film more unbearable. Morgan York gave the best performance and she has the most memorable lines. Brittany Snow was okay, nothing special. Max Thieriot also gave an okay performance though I really didn't like his character. Faith Ford appears in the movie for about 15 minutes so it would be kind of pointless to see this film because of her. Lauren Graham gave an okay performance, I prefer her on Gilmore Girls though. Brad Garret was terrible since he tried way too hard to be funny and it just failed completely.

    Adam Shankman directs and he does a decent job. I wouldn't say he did a good job because the movie is kind of bland and inoffensive. He really put no element of surprise and he shot the film right down the middle. I'm kind of surprised he didn't make the film better since he also directed Bringing Down the House and that film was pretty funny. Since this is strictly a kid's movie, I thought the film was very dull and not very funny. They seemed to try too hard and it didn't work out at all. They were some funny moments but not enough to sustain the running time. In the end, The Pacifier is a harmless film for kids but everyone else should skip it. Rating 4/10
  • DaDrill6 March 2005
    If you are jaded, think you've seen it all and just want to gripe, do not see this movie.

    If you want a good time, have a chuckle or two and take the family to a movie that doesn't embarrass you, check this out.

    Some silly Disney violence and some laugh out loud sequences balance the rest of this chuckle fest.

    I am not a big fan of gratuitous violence, but when the is no blood or death or dismemberment, then it is more akin to a cartoon, and that is how I would rate this movie's action sequences.

    Just go, relax and enjoy, it isn't Oscar quality, but I bet it eventually is top 2 or 3 during its run.
  • My entire family loves this movie. It is non-stop hysterics. It has everything: fight scenes for the guys, Vin Diesel wearing nothing but a towel for the ladies, baby poop for gross little boys, girl scouts doing karate on boy scouts for little girls, and quite a few heart-warming family moments.

    Plot line goes as follows: Lt. Shane Wolf, a high ranking Navy seal is leading a mission to rescue a military security expert, Professor Plummer, from kidnappers. He has created a program that will prevent enemy countries from being able to launch their own nuclear weapons. The professor is killed and the program never found. It is believed to be at the professor's home with his wife and five young kids. Lt. Wolf is assigned to protect them and locate the program known as "Ghost." The mother will spend the movie in Switzerland trying to figure out the password that will enable her to access a safety deposit box left by her late husband. Lt. Wolf will stop at nothing to protect the children. Although first at odds with the children, he learns what it feels like to be a father and grows to love it and them.

    I had never seen a Vin Diesel movie before and was very surprised as to how good he was in this movie. The best character in the movie is Murney, played by Brad Garrett. He almost stole the movie because he portrayed this loony character so well. He had the best lines and will leave you in stitches. Although no man will admit to enjoying this movie (too much of a threat to their macho personas), I consider it to be an excellent family movie.
  • Seems like Vin Diesel wants to follow in Arnold Schwarzeneggers footsteps when he went from a typical badass macho character to something like a comedian in movies like Kindergarden Cop and Twins.

    Maybe Diesel made too much money from before, and thought he wanted to focus on his talent as an actor instead, and widen his artistic abilities.

    There is one drawback with this plan though: He simply cannot act, and the story of the movie badly needs some serious acting talent to rescue it from total failure. Sadly enough the only person who delivers anything close to good acting is Brad Garrett, who only has a guest appearance.

    The movie is your typical "badass comes to realize family is more important than whatever he is doing" thing, which we have seen numerous of times before. Nothing new here, and with no acting talent the only thing that can possibly save the movie is humor.

    Unfortunately the humour is so childish even a 7 year old would be offended, and I can't recall laughing at all during the movie. It is just too cute, politically correct as well as over the top predictable.

    The only reason to see the movie I can think of, saving having someone point a gun at your head, is hardcore fans of Vin Diesel might get a kick from just watching him move around on the screen or whatever. But this is just a sad piece of movie, clearly just a money making effort trying to capitalize on Vin Diesels name in a cute and proved family comedy concept that is way below par.
  • 'The Pacifier' is another clichéd kid-flick where in the beginning kids don't like the caretaker and then they all love him and what not. The reason why I watched it was because Lauren Graham was in it and I wanted to see how her pairing worked with Diesel. There was no chemistry (and I mostly blame Diesel as he's hardly ever had chemistry with any of his co-star). The film does have its few funny moments. Brad Garrett makes a few appearances and his wrestling suit was hilarious. Kids might love the film. Diesel fans might love it because he's in it. I don't. For me it's forgettable and certainly better forgotten.
  • Warning: Spoilers
    There was a time Vin Diesel showed some promise. Coming up in a time that the big strong silent Arnold clones were obsolete there was this guy all of a sudden, hitting hard with Pitch Black.

    Then there was the enjoyable "Man apart" which was in my opinion a lot better then expected and the fast and the furious.. which marked the started of his hot air era.

    The fast and the furious was over-hyped and empty, xxx was even worse , riddick was full of love.. for himself and little by little the promise he once showed seemed to fade. Then came the pacifier around, and this is the type of film I expect to have a pre engineered script at the basis of it. Pre engineered in a way it has been "written" to please certain target audiences and not in an effort to make a good film.

    It is obvious that this film is only made to give Vin Diesel access to certain mom and dad audiences he couldn't reach with his earlier efforts. Everything in this film is based on playing it safe giving the viewer a predictable Luke warm rehash that invites to nod off semi permanent. Think the very very worst of the older Disney movies, add the very worst of the Sylvester Stallone family entertainment ( another disappointment) outings and it gives you this.

    For a man that - if I can believe his interviews- had to really fight to get where he is now Mr Diesel shows a remarkable lack of courage in his choosings for parts. I really hope he has been ill advised by his agents to take these parts and that it is not completely his own choice.

    One has to keep some hope...

    Skippable
  • This film was bad. There was nothing of value in this entire film. I have no idea how this film grossed a little over thirty million in its first weekend. There must have been a good trailer before it, or perhaps there was a generation of people that missed the film when it was originally called Kindergarten Cop. Either way, for an hour an a half we were duped into watching nothing more than scene after scene of diaper humor, a comically unbalanced Diesel wading through the supposed funny moments, a duck, scenes where the baby of the family is left unattended, sloppy (and I mean sloppy) editing, and quick resolutions that will leave the avid film watcher confused and disoriented. Coupled with cliché after cliché, Diesel proves that he is better left in the action genre, the leaving the humor to anyone else in the world except for him.

    There are several people that I am extremely upset with in the world of film today. Tim Burton is currently at the top of my list, but right below him is Ben Garant and Thomas Lennon. I grew up with the humor of these guys by watching the decently funny Reno 911 and the hysterically funny MTV show, The State. When I saw that they had written this film, I was expecting to see a new level of comedy. I was hoping to see a film where the humor was sharp, the dialog was perhaps paradoxical, while laughing at all the ways they could play off the already cliché scenes that have been done in early 80s movies. Alas, this was not the case. They literally sold out. Garant and Lennon created a film that fit well into the structure of Disney by giving us bathroom humor, jagged bonding moments, and that inevitable anticlimactic ending which sums everything up in a nice little bow. Did they need the cash? My guess is "yes". For those that may be fans of Reno 911 or The State, I would not go into this film expecting classic humor, but instead be prepared for unfunny diaper scenes which seem to be the staple of this film.

    Since the story was filled with more holes than Swiss cheese, it seemed only right for Diesel to fall into that one of those holes as well. He cannot do comedy. This film, The Pacifier, proves that. There were no scenes in which he was able to generate a laugh by anyone in our house. His comic timing seemed invisible to non-existent, all the while it just seemed as if he kept waiting for the chance to walk around without his shirt and perhaps fight some bad-guys. You could tell that he felt uncomfortable in this film and was not ready to handle the pressures of comedy. Perhaps it was the direction that he was given, but Diesel continually went in and out of character. His main focus was to watch the children, but whenever he had to do something else, he completely forgot about the children and moved on. This is hard to explain, but there were several scenes when Diesel left small children unattended in the house, or in the car, or somewhere off-screen while he went searching for his "actual" mission. I was surprised that Social Services didn't try to boycott this film. Perhaps it was Diesel's way of being funny, but for me it just came off as sloppy. Comedy is hard and Diesel needs more work at it before he headlines another Disney bomb.

    Finally, I would like to say that Adam Shankman needs to really work on his direction skills. I know he has done more films than just this, but for some odd reason the editing was horrible in this film. Scenes would occur randomly while conclusions to those scenes would arise sporadically as well. It was chaos. We, as viewers, jumped around so much in this film that you just didn't get a feel of any of the characters. The Disney touch was so apparent that it forced the story to become unstructured and confusing. The wrestling to Nazi scene was especially bad, in fact, the entire Sound of Music moment was painful and disruptive to the entire film. Didn't these children's father just pass away horribly about two weeks ago? Nobody seemed to care and there wasn't one tear shed throughout the entire film. The structure on helping the children while continuously looking for "Ghost" just didn't fit. There needed to be more stories, more moments between the children, more glue instead of chaos holding these scenes together. The random relationship between Diesel and Graham was idiotic, while the entire concept of falling in love with these children in just short of two weeks blew my mind. We were all over the place in this film and it hurt.

    Overall, this film was worse than pathetic. All three key elements to this film, the writers, the "major" star, and the director just didn't seem to be on the right page. It was sad to see such great comics like Lennon and Garant churn out duds like this. It was sad to see Hollywood resort to the clichéd 80s concept of bringing an action star into comedy and watch him fail miserably. The story was horrendous and glued together by a two-year old. The comedic moments were non-existent, while Diesel wandered through the entire film, in and out of character, hoping to revive a dying career. Nobody made me laugh. Nobody was funny. Nothing was worth viewing a second time. If you are looking for a decent comedy that fully represents the key elements in this film, I would check out the comedic actor John Candy tackle it in Uncle Buck.

    Grade: * out of *****
  • I can appreciate the fact that Vin Diesel wants to expand his career past the range of muscle-bound action hero, but this borders on repulsive. The horrifying fact is this film may have cost $12 - $15 million to make, and this weekend it will pull down maybe $20 million. It is the insult of all time when Hollywood vomits out this tripe knowing that all parents everywhere will blindly take their children to see this toilet-humor rubbish as a form of baby-sitting for adults. Even if the movie is awful, as this one is, parents see it as a 2 hour lull in an otherwise boring week-end. What a disgrace.....

    Hollywood knows that the family-film is the mother load of financial happiness. Parents take their kids and pay adult movie prices, and they don't even want to be there. Kids scream bloody murder when they see diaper jokes and booger eating 2 year-olds, so most parents allow this violation to survive by paying into it. Hollywood should be ashamed of themselves, as should any parent who takes their child to see this abomination....
  • moby197416 March 2005
    Poor film sorry Vin, i know its for kids but still its way off in timing and good jokes, it feels like its only running at 50% of what these actors can do. Big fan of Vin, i think he can act, he looks great on screen holding it well, he has a mean deep voice that makes you takes notice, he looks great kicking ass.........but he has no comic talent. Been built the way he is people will always want him to be Riddick or someone like him, i know as an actor been typecast as this will be a bad head for him as he will want to do other types of characters and branch out but the thing is his kick ass style is what draws people to see him, comic films have been tried by other big build guys Sly and Arnie, sly had no joy and Arnie was very lucky, he had 2 films which were made well but he had help on screen, pint size Danny in Twins kept the film moving and the tiny kids doing bad and silly things in KG Cop helped but only just mind, the time of "oh look its that big hard man doing something silly"has gone, i know this film is doing well and is a hit for Vin but i hope its his last try at comedy or if he tries again to do it with someone as a sidekick to help him such as Tom Arnold as i think he is a great comic sidekick and would not steal the screen from Vin, as for me i hope we get one more RIDDICK film as they are so made for Vin. Pacifier 3 out of 10 sorry Vin
  • This movie was horrible! Vin Diesel cannot act, as I noticed not many people could in this movie. The writing of this movie was based to much on the baby's diapers and what was the point of the nanny. She appeared in only like two minutes of the movie and one of those minutes was her doing the Panda Dance. It was trying to get a few laughs at every possible part and it wasn't EVER funny. This movie had a predictable ending and worst of all a love interest!! oh my god, even thinking about this movie makes me want to vomit! I have never seen Bringing Down The House, but I have heard that these two movies shared the same producer and I would hate to see what Bringing Down The House is like. This mov1e had a lot of possible good potential, with so many stars, but this was like one of those movie barely worth renting and when you do, your not happy with it. This movie could NEVER be great, but with a little work it could brim on almost good.
  • blackwatch12344 March 2005
    this is a horrible movie, please do not c it, i rate it a 1 horrible just awful i left in the middle of it just plain bad boring, dull, making it made my bum stiff please do not watch it dumbest movie ever. it made me puck. horrible-st ever made movie, it wouldn't even be a nominee for the Oscars 100 years ago, when there was little technology. highly against it. not cute, pointless and dumb. my friends agree. please be warned it is a stupid movie. it makes Dora the explorer exciting. and its fit for a baby to c. it will get them to sleep for you! hahahaha. i make my self laugh. Just take my advice and c another movie, I am wasting lines cause I have to fill 10 of them up for this to work. ! and hey what do you know. I did! bye, and Don't c the movie. thanks and i hope you enjoy my comment
  • Diesel stars as Navy SEAL Shane Wolfe who, as an elite member of the world's fiercest and most highly trained force thought he was prepared to take on any duty no matter how perilous or impossible . . . until he tried baby-sitting. Assigned to protect the five out-of-control children of an assassinated scientist working on vital government secrets, Shane is suddenly faced with juggling two outrageously incompatible jobs: fighting the bad guys while keeping house. Replacing his usual arsenal of wetsuits and weapons with diapers and juice boxes, Shane not only must battle a deceptive enemy but wrangle teen rebel Zoe, sullen 14 year-old Seth , 8 year-old Ninja-wanna-be Lulu, as well as 3 year-old Peter and baby Tyler - not to mention their off-beat Nanny. But he has no idea what tough really is until he pits his courage against diapering, den-mothering and driver's education.

    In a world that exposes our children to mob hits, wanton sex and drug use it is good to know that Disney is completely dedicated to making family films. The Disney formula is simple, surround the star with a group of lovable, misunderstood, smart aleck kids including but not limited to the mildly rebellious, the wisecracking and the cutest...you get the point. The kids made the movie. Also, Carol Kane and Brad Garret were huge scene-stealers. Which Vin Diesel needed, because he was totally boring. Maybe our universal action star isn't ready for comedy yet. Schwarznegger had a few more blockbusters under his belt before he attempted it...Overall, pretty good.
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