[Ash and Scribbs have arrived at a school to interview the Headmaster - the bell rings and Scribbs starts running]

Ash: What are you doing?

Scribbs: Sorry. Force of habit.

[Ash and Scribbs have just interviewed a school Headmaster about his murdered secretary]

Scribbs: He convinced me.

Ash: Bet that's not the first time you made a Headmaster cry.

[Ash and Scribbs watch DCI Sullivan walk to his car]

Scribbs: If he turns out to be gay, I'm going to shoot myself.

[Ash and Scribbs have reported their progress to DCI Sullivan]

Scribbs: Wasn't he wearing that shirt yesterday?

Ash: [pulling a coin out of her pocket] Heads, his washing machine's broken. Tails, he's a dirty stop-out.

[tosses the coin]

Scribbs: Well?

Ash: You don't want to know.

[Scribbs has been to a clothing consultant]

Scribbs: They look at your hair and your skin tone, and decide what colour your clothes should be.

Ash: So what did they say about you?

Scribbs: That I was an "autumn" - that I look best wearing subdued tones.

Ash: Subdued?

Scribbs: Tones. Apparently bright colours don't suit me. The mistake I made was dressing as a "summer". Which is why I've been attracting the wrong kind of men.

Ash: So you're saying the right kind of man's attracted to a woman in a mushroom-brown outfit?

Scribbs: D'you think I look a bit...?

Ash: No, Scribbs, you look fine. You look absolutely fine.

Scribbs: Honest?

Ash: Well, actually...

Scribbs: Truth.

Ash: You look like a fungus!

Ash: What's my single, most important rule about men, Scribbs?

Scribbs: Uh, they mustn't be married?

Ash: No, the other one.

Scribbs: No bad boys.

Ash: Because?

Scribbs: They're bad.

Ash: And?

Scribbs: They're boys.