Batman: Enough with the act. Lose the dummy.

Scarface: I would, but he keeps following me around!

Batman: Let me make myself clear. There's no room for a Batgirl in Gotham.

Batgirl: That's cool, because it's Batwoman. As in I'm a grown woman and I don't need to listen to you.

Batman: Then for your own safety, if you don't listen to me, I'm going to have tell your father, Ms. Gordon.

Batgirl: Ah... You must have me confused with some else.

[silent for a second]

Batgirl: Dude! You just broke the superhero secret identity code.

Catwoman: [to Batgirl, about Batman] I bet he never lets you drive.

Batgirl: He barely lets me sidekick!

Bane: The Batman, I presume?

Batman: The masked look must really be catching on.

Bane: Defeat me, and I will allow you to remove it.

Batman: Hate to disappoint, but I don't fight for sport.

Bane: Then fight for your life!

Alfred Pennyworth: The young man you were expecting apologizes. He won't be able to attend, I'm afraid.

Becky: Let me guess. He's married.

Alfred Pennyworth: To his work.

Rupert Thorne: How-How'd you do that?

Batman: I'm The Batman.

The Penguin: [to Man-Bat] What are you? And what do bats have against me, anyway?

Ragdoll: Kitten's got claws.

Catwoman: [cracks her whip] Kitten's got a whip!

The Joker: [upon noticing Hugo Strange] What a coinky dink! I wanted to talk about the Arkham diet. Too. Many. Nuts.

The Joker: [to Punch and Judy] You two don't count - you're not sidekicks, you're goons.

Catwoman: Hate to cut our first date short, cutie, but I like to leave a man wanting more.

Batman: If Catwoman were somehow, some way able to trace the signal back here...

Alfred Pennyworth: We would have to rename it "The Catcave".

Detective Ethan Bennett: You're through, Joker!

The Joker: Ah, Detective, or should I say, Night Watchman.

Detective Ethan Bennett: Oh, so you remember me now?

The Joker: I've never forget a face I've tormented.

Bruce Wayne: First day, Ethan. Nervous?

Detective Ethan Bennett: I was a cop for six years, Bruce. You think I can't handle staring at a monitor?

[steps into a room with monitor covered walls]

Detective Ethan Bennett: Whoa!

Bruce Wayne: Make that 350 monitors.

The Penguin: [seeing Joker as The Batman] Joker?

The Joker: I'm The Batman!

The Penguin: You see the thing is... you're *not*!

The Joker: The eggs, Penguin, or I scramble you!

The Penguin: Are you out of your gourd? I'm in the middle of a heist! You don't see me barging in on your "Gas all of Gotham" schemes, do you? It is called professional courtesy!

Batman: Keep a lookout.

Detective Ellen Yin: I thought I was your partner.

Batman: But you're not my sidekick.

The Joker: Knock-knock!

Killgore Steed: [opening the door] Evening, Joker.

The Joker: [disappointed] You're supposed to say, "Who's there?"

Batgirl: It's the end of the world.

Robin: No it's not, it just looks a whole lot like it.

The Joker: Don't make me slap you, Jack! Get it? Jack? Slap Jack?

[laughs maniaclly]

The Joker: Sorry Batman, but Joker always laughs last.

Commissioner James Gordon: Set up a perimeter. If Mr. Quake so much as breathes, I want someone there to tell me what he had for lunch.

Poison Ivy: Who knew you had a sidekick?

Batman: I don't.

Batman: We both know you put yourself on ice. I'm here to bring on the thaw.

The Penguin: Please, now that all pretenses are off, call me Penguin - a flightless bird, but one with style.

The Joker: Detective Bennett... You're Clayface?

Clayface: You turned me into Clay!

The Joker: Funny, I was trying to turn you into dust.

Detective Ellen Yin: [about Clayface] He could be anywhere.

Bruce Wayne: He could be anyone.

Batman: [about Killer Croc's plan] Tens of thousands will be killed.

Killer Croc: And I'll shed a crocodile tear for each and every one of 'em.

The Joker: He didn't even ask about Yin-In-The-Box.

Barbara Gordon: Pam, you hired a thug!

Pamela Isley: Yeah, you'd be surprised what you can find on the Internet.

Detective Ellen Yin: Police! Freeze!

Mr. Freeze: As you wish...

Mr. Freeze: Have an ice evening.

The Penguin: That's it, my pretties. Show me the money!

Batman: The reviews are in, Joker, your show's a flop.

Firefly: You shouldn't play with Firefly!

Poison Ivy: You're getting to be a real thorn in my side, Batman.

Batman: And you're no rose, Poison Ivy.

Batman: And to think here I thought earthquakes struck without warning.

Temblor: Buddy, you just dialed "D" for destruction!