Timothy Spall: Beadle
Photos
Quotes
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Judge Turpin : I have news for you, my friend. In order to shield her from the evils of this world, I have decided to marry my dear Johanna.
Beadle : Ah, sir, happy news indeed.
Judge Turpin : Strange, though, when I offered myself to her, she showed a certain reluctance.
Beadle : [sings] Excuse me, my lord. / May I request, my lord, / Permission, my lord, to speak? / Forgive me if I suggest, my lord, / You're looking less than your best, my lord, / There's powder upon your vest, my lord, / And stubble upon your cheek. / And ladies, my lord, are weak.
Judge Turpin : Stubble, you say? Perhaps I am a little overhasty in the morning.
Beadle : [sings] Fret not though, my lord, / I know a place, my lord, / A barber, my lord, of skill. / Thus armed with a shaven face, my lord, / Some eau de cologne to brace my lord / And musk to enhance the chase, my lord, / You'll dazzle the girl until...
Judge Turpin : Until?
Beadle : [sings] She bows to your every will.
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Signor Adolfo Pirelli : To shave-a da face/ To trim-a da beard/ To make-a da bristle/ Clean like a whistle/ Dis is from early infancy/ Da talent give to me/ By God./ It take-a da skill/ It take-a da brains/ It take-a da will/ To take-a da pains!/ It take-a da pace/ It take-a da graaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace!
Beadle : And the winner is Todd!
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Beadle : [after the judge has sentenced a boy to death by hangin] Thank you, your honor, just the sentence we wanted.
Judge Turpin : Was he guilty?
Beadle : Well, if not, he'd certainly done something to warrant a hanging.
Judge Turpin : What man has not?
