17 October 2017 | lor_
Miserable attempt at deconstructing the Rom-Com
An embarrassing feature from David Stanley, "Round She Goes" is a Vivid Video vehicle for buxom blonde contract star Dasha, but adds nothing to her (or Stanley's for that matter) career.
The auteur's script tries to impress us with a pair of Platonic couples, puttering around sexually for a little over an hour en route to a very disappointing, intentionally insulting non-ending. I assume that David is trying to criticize the regimented sentimentality (and predictability) of mainstream Hollywood's Rom-Com movies, but what he ends up with is far worse than some soggy Sandy Bullock or Katherine Weigl clunker.
Even his indulgent inclusion of a segment of Big Baloney Sandwich Time on TV is merely a voice-over reference -we don't even get the non-thrill of seeing any footage of this ridiculous Stanley invention.
What we do get is lots of shots of Eric Masterson or Dasha standing by their rotary telephone (DS stressing the archaic) as they have great trouble connecting, while each ignores the presence of their logical mate saddled with "just friends" status: real-life hubby Dillon Day for Dasha and ultra-sexy roommate Lezley Zen for Eric.
To kill time, Stanley features a how-to video playing on TV demonstrating foot-jobs and foot fetishism, copied by the stars including leading foot- fetishist Randy Spears. A couple of other lovelies flesh out the cast: Cherokee and Michelle Michaels, but apart from the sex filler we're left hanging re: will the mismatched mates ever get together for a happy ending? DS's half-baked script denies the viewer even that simple pleasure of a resolution.