Ashley: I hate hospitals, but it wasn't really all that scary. All the needles and stuff. It wasn't that bad. I'll tell you what the scariest thing is to me - the scariest thing to me is Johnny. It is. He didn't say nothin'. Not one word. At least I don't know what it is, and I think he really did want it, too. Just a boy - you know how I know? I heard him tell your pa to paint the cradle brown. You just wouldn't put a baby girl in a brown cradle. You just wouldn't.

[starts to cry]

Ashley: I don't know what he's thinkin'. It's not my fault! And all that time and all that stuff I got and all those months, it was just all for nothin'! And those fucking doctors, they think they know everything but they don't know anything! They don't know anything! Oh, I don't understand! I don't understand. Why would God let this happen? Why would he? I just wanted something good to come out of all this. I mean it... I really mean it.

Ashley: [to Johnny after he throws a tantrum about not being to work the VCR] God loves you just the way you are, but He loves you too much to let you stay that way.

Ashley: I wonder what she looks like. I bet she's skinny. She probably is. She's skinnier'n me and prettier too. Now I'll hate her. Oh, I can't wait!

Ashley: You always know what I need.

[pause]

Ashley: You know, all I want in the whole world is for Johnny to love me like he did in high school.

[pause]

Ashley: You held him, didn't you? Aw, he was beautiful. He was perfect.

George Johnsten: He was.

Ashley: He was blue.

Peg: I don't want your water breaking. We just had the upholstery cleaned.

Eugene: I have done some screwing in here I guess.

Madeleine: [Madeleine is helping Johnny with his book report on Huckleberry Finn] Their relationship is Huck's gradual love affair with this slave is a major theme...

Johnny Johnsten: Wa-wa-wait, they fall in love with each other? I don't think you're talking about the right book...

[laughs nervously]

Madeleine: I was born in Japan.

Ashley: You were not!

Madeleine: I even bite my toenails.

Ashley: You do not!

Eugene: Where would I be if I was a screwdriver?

Peg: Be quiet Eugene, nobody's listening to you.

Peg: [examining an antique baby spoon] I don't believe that can go in the dishwasher...

Madeleine: Did they sign a contract?

Bernadette: It wasn't clear; all I know is they were obviously influenced by someone's, you know, high-falutin' talkin'.

Ashley: I can't sit down! I'm too excited!

Peg: [to Madeleine] You came all the way from Chicago to find a good artist?

Peg: [after they realize Ashley was ready to give birth] Where are you going?

Eugene: Bring the car upfront.

Peg: Don't just stand there go get the car!

Madeleine: You like this one?

George Johnsten: Makes me happy... but I'm gonna buy the UFO.

Peg: What did you do with my eggs?

Johnny Johnsten: Stuffed 'em up my butt!

[In the background]

Madeleine: So, when is this due?

Johnny Johnsten: *Any fucking time now.*

Madeleine: No, I meant the paper.