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  • Clerks II is a worthy successor to Kevin Smith's 1994 debut, "Clerks.".

    The continuing adventures of Dante and Randal speed along with witty dialogue, insightful social commentary, and a touching look at various levels of life, responsibility and most importantly, love.

    There's a lot of the requisite dirty jokes, but they enhance the golden center of the flick. I laughed and cried in many of the same moments. But mostly, I watched two characters I had grown up with grow up themselves and face some of the dilemmas I've faced since I went from being a teenage slacker to an adult. I was reminded of a better time in my life, and also reminded to look forward to the future.

    Brian O'Halloran knocks Dante out of the gate, with pitch-perfect delivery. I believe that this is still the Dante we knew - just a bit older. Jeff Anderson takes Randal, an already amazing character, and brings him to a new level. Randal becomes even funnier - and more touching. Trevor Fehrman's Elias adds the perfect foil for Randal's brand of mischief. Jay and Silent Bob, the dynamic duo, are also back - proving that Jason Mewes is back in top shape, and really enjoying making you laugh.

  • I had reservations about a sequel to the cult classic, Clerks. The charm of the first movie was how Kevin Smith relied on convoluted dialogue and effervescent characters to launch the movie. I was not confident that he could return to those roots after 12 years of success under his belt.

    Fortunately, this movie does not disappoint. Smith's trademark witty dialogue is ubiquitous as ever. The characters argue and rant about meaningless topics with the same intensity as family members faced with the decision to pull the plug. O'Halloran continues to portray Dante as the hapless slacker who simultaneously makes us feel sorry for him and urges us to smack him for not doing anything about his circumstances. The latter feeling is embodied by Anderson, who plays the irresponsible malcontent, Randall. Fans of the first Clerks movie will be amused by their continued antics. One of the new characters is Becky, played by Rosario Dawson. Dawson performs admirably, making us fall in love with the free spirit who took a wrong turn in life and ended up managing a Mooby's restaurant. Becky provides a refreshing contrast to the stodgy and suffocating Emma, played by Mrs. Smith. Emma appears a bit too one-dimensional, but her purpose as Dante's fiancée is clearly to show yet another disappointing facet of Dante's life. Another new character is Elias, played by Trevor Fehrman. Elias's role is a bit over-the-top as the hobbit-obsessed geek whose life is enriched by the promise of a live-action Transformers movie. The flaw is that Elias is too repressed and weird and cannot garner much sympathy from the audience. This might be Smith's intent, as we enjoy a little schadenfreude every time Randall torments him.

    The story is fairly basic and picks up where the first movie leaves off. Dante and Randall seamlessly move from the end of Clerks to the beginning of Clerks II. This may seem sad, since they are now 30-somethings working as clerks, and that is intentional. The sequel shifts the focus from young clerks trying to determine what to do with their lives to clerks approaching middle age trying to figure out why they're still in their dead-end jobs. The story of Dante whining about his life and Randall putting him in his place is rehashed from the first movie, but with a sudden afflatus, Dante is finally able to do something about it.

    The humor is still strong with Kevin Smith, as he throws ridiculous sight gags at us in between the labyrinthine dialogue about Transformers, Star Wars, racial slurs, blogs, and life in general. Fans of Kevin Smith naturally will enjoy this movie and do not need to fear that he has "sold out." It's hard to say if newcomers will enjoy the movie. If they are into the humor of the movie, then they logically should already be aware of the first Clerks, as well as Dogma and Chasing Amy. I can only suggest for the moviegoer who is unaware of Kevin Smith's credentials to go rent Clerks. If the story bores you, then Clerks II probably won't appeal to you, though there are more sight gags that may appeal to some audiences. Those who are easily offended are also urged to stay away, as this movie contains scenes of profanity, bodily fluids, and (for most people) sexual deviance.

    All in all, it is a solid movie. It has a few pacing problems (or did at the screening) but nothing that negatively impacts the movie. Some scenes are utterly ridiculous, but it is par for the course for this type of movie.
  • This movie was everything I hoped it would be. It is especially (or maybe even primarily) for fans of Kevin Smith's "ViewAskewniverse". (And yes, it's in color...mostly.) Also, there was no was titled simply "CLERKS II" "the second coming" or "the passion of the CLERKS".

    I don't want to hit any spoilers this soon before the movie comes out, but the general idea is that it is a "coming of age" story for the Gen X slackers, who finally in their 30s find themselves not having advanced very far in life, careers, personally or even in general (this is primarily Dante's role, anyway). He decides (due to some things beyond his control) to FINALLY move on, "grow up", get married and leave Leonardo New Jersey and its band of bad influences behind.

    Randall, of course, is not so keen at his only friend leaving NJ, is perfectly happy living with his parents and doing as little as possible, and a good part of the movie is spent on Randall challenging Dante's decision and exploration of their friendship.

    Now, this may sound like some kind of melodrama, BUT IT ISN'T!!! That basic story is weaved between the plot devices, smart dialogue and gritty or "pushing the limits" humor we come to expect from Kevin Smith.

    There's Jay and Silent Bob of course, who have a mini-character arc/growth experience themselves, Jason Lee in with an all new character for one short scene (I think this is his 5th new character in Kevin's ViewAskew franchise), and Ben Affleck with a mercifully brief (one or two line) cameo. Jay and Bob's antics are always a great break from the other action, never an intrusion, even when they are TRYING to intrude, by making asses of themselves (literally) in the background of the primary action.

    Plus, a couple of new characters, a crew member at Mooby's (a McDonald's type fast food joint) named Elias who is a very religious, naive counterpoint to Randall's ruthless and jaded personality, and therefore the butt of many jokes/gags. His and Randall's comments regarding "Lords of the Ring" vs "Star Wars" are priceless and vintage Kevin Smith.

    Another new character, "Becky", is played by Rosario Dawson, who is the manager at the same restaurant. She plays the part of the good female friend who depends on Dante and challenges Dante to consider if he really wants to settle for a girl who is merely tolerable.

    As with the first "CLERKS", this movie pushes the limit of what can be put on film and actually get released in theaters. I hope the more controversial parts make the final cut because I think the shock value that makes you say "NO THEY DIDN'T!" is a valuable part of the equation and expected from this film franchise. Without giving anything away, there are particularly two of the films ongoing jokes, one having to do with bestiality, the other in which some very NON-PC racial terms are used, REPEATEDLY, including the "N-word". No one else has the guts to address these issues and make them funny. 'Cept Kevin Smith.

    Finally, the movie really does have a story without being preachy, we're treated to known characters without it being a nostalgia-fest (for instance, Jay and Bob are in their signature places in front of the Quick Stop, but Jay utters not once "Snootchie Bootchies"...but not to fear, he finds a NEW way to crack us up...Bob's discovered a way to keep Jay's mind off of drugs. Fans of Jay will NOT be disappointed.)And the movie goes through an interesting story arc, with surprises and twists resulting in a satisfying ending.

    I'm concerned that the more risqué scenes might have to be neutered for ratings' purposes; hopefully not. If so, they will be on the DVD for sure. I can say that even in very conservative KC, the audience laughed A lot, no one walked out during the most "offensive" part, and everyone seemed to really enjoy the edgy wit, smart dialogue as well as the bathroom humor that kept the film at a fun pace.

    *EDIT-I've since read that 3 people walked out, which isn't bad from an audience of nearly 500 and with a movie this edgy. I guess I was enjoying myself too much to notice the walkouts!

    The movie is also more realistic than some of the other View Askew movies; more like Clerks, obviously. None of the comic book type stunts like in "Mallrats" (Silent Bob's batman utility belt and flying around with a cape) or "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back" (with the fake lightsaber scenes and flying on the bicycle through a wall and not getting hurt) or all the special effects,mythology and divine interventions of "Dogma" (Alanis Morisette as God appearing at the end to save the world). There are no scenes to groan at and think "ah, right, like that could happen". These characters are real, and real things happen to them, no special abilities, creatures from the underworld or new age messiahs. Just real people that many of us can relate to.

    In closing...don't take your grandmother to this movie. It is full of obscene language, profane concepts, drug references, "unnatural" sexual references, etc. Unless you know your girlfriend is hip and not easily offended, test her with a DVD of "CLERKS" first to see if she "gets" the humor.

    Otherwise, get a gang of friends, go to this movie and get ready to laugh your freakin' BUTT off!
  • I've been lucky enough to see this movie twice, and I can't wait to see it again in theaters. I laughed so hard I NEED to see it again to hear what I missed the first two times around, and I even shed a tear or two.

    Kevin Smith is in fine form as Dante and Randal return 10 years older. But are they 10 years wiser? After the Quick Stop is unexpectedly shut down, Dante and Randall continue their meager existences at Mooby's, a fast food chain. The movie takes place on the day before Dante is set to leave for broader horizons with his overbearing fiancé, played by the stunning and impressive Jennifer Schwalbach.

    Can Dante really survive outside of the comfortable confines of New Jersey? What will Randal do without his hetero-lifemate? And speaking of hetero-lifemates, what are Jay and Silent Bob up to these days? Brian O'Halloran and Jeff Anderson give stellar performances. Dante and Randal are back and in fine form. Trevor Fehrman is an excellent addition to the cast as Elias, new coworker and perfect whipping boy for Randal. I absolutely fell in love with Rosario Dawson as Becky, Mooby manager, several times over. Jay and Silent Bob pop in and out without disappointment. I can't tell you how fantastic it is to see Jason Mewes looking healthy and in top form.

    Those looking for the intelligent, wry and vulgar humor of Clerks will find it here. Can you top screwing a dead guy in a bathroom? Oh yes, you can! Those who appreciated the heart of Chasing Amy will find that here too. Only Kevin Smith can pull off that combination. The soundtrack is a must buy as well.

    I can't wait to see this movie again.
  • Clerks II:**** Clerks II is a strong and poignant retelling of the story of when two slackers grow into adulthood. In many ways this is writer/director Kevin Smith's most adult film in that we see four characters that we've grown up with over the past 12 years finally grow themselves. It opens on the final day of work for Dante who is finally getting up and out of Jersey with his fiancé, leaving Randal figuratively alone at Mooby's. Randal hasn't changed much over the past years, and in many cases neither has Dante. Randal still wrestles with the customers in pitiful pop culture debates, among them whether the LOTR trilogy is better than the Star Wars trilogy, but this time around he has a new foil in a 19 year old gamer-geek named Elias. The banter between these two is really funny especially when Randal tells him what he has planned for Dante's departure gift (but you'll have to see the flick to find out what that is because it is too gross for me even to write). After a short stint in re-hab Jay and Silent Bob have found solace in the Lord but this doesn't stop them from the dispensing with the drugs. Its odd to find that in the past decade it is Jay and Silent Bob that have changed the most, true they still are up to their perverse antics such as ass rubbing on the window and the disturbing recreation of "The Silence of the Lambs" dance but they have grown more sensitive to other people's emotions and needs, especially Jay. I haven't mentioned Rosario Dawson, who gives a very charming performance as the clerks' boss. She brings a lot of presence to a slightly underdeveloped character. But it is Jeff Anderson, Randal, that deserves the full attention this time around. He gives an award worthy performance and delivers it with an astonishing amount of sympathy. He's loosing his best friend which, though he'd never show it, absolutely devastates him. The last 20 minutes are really tear jerking, I know I was in tears and couldn't stop the flow. This film sort of keeps to the feel Smith created with Chasing Amy and Jersey Girl in that they lay the drama on thick and it almost works better than the comedy, an oddity for Smith proving he too has grown as a writer. It isn't all drama though you do get great comedic scenes such as, my favorite, the "porch monkey" scene. I nearly had laughing tears during it. This is probably Smith's best looking film elevating it to the quality one would get whilst watching a really good episode of television. The camera even moves! And a neat little digital effect is shown at the beginning where the clerks' world seamlessly transforms from black and white to color, I was shocked because I didn't even realize it was happening. This is one of Smith's best films and one of the year's best. I give it a high recommendation but I ask that you stick with it a little while because it moves at a slower pace then any of the other Jersey Chronicles, it may take a bit of getting used to for some, but this is a film that can not be missed.
  • gsanchet21 July 2006
    You'll like Clerks 2. If you liked the original Clerks, this is Kevin's Smith's masterpiece. It mirrors the original Clerks, but it shows how much he's grown as a writer and a director. From the black and white/color shots, to the crane shot (a *beep* crane shot), to just the placement of people in the Camera shots...everyone one of these things contributed to the overall enjoyment of this movie.

    The script is crisp and tense, with just the right amount of reality and joy. There is no long monologues or actors stumbling over lines. There's this freedom in Smith's work that doesn't feel forced or attempting to impress anyone...but he impresses everyone with just the beautiful way of putting together his scenes.

    I wholeheartedly recommend this movie to anyone and everyone, but especially those who are on the verge of 30 and the rest of your life. It definitely impressed me and touched me in a way that I didn't expect. It's a fitting end to the Jersey Viewaskewverse.

    Hopefully, in 10 years, they do another Clerks movie. I'd love to see these guys in their 40s. Randal and Dante are the most engaging of couples and Smith writes such an engaging story about friends in their 30s without pandering or compromising the vision of their piece.

    You will love it. Even if you hated all his other movies past Clerks, you will love it.
  • I was lucky enough to go to an advanced screening of this film, a luxury not often afforded to us normal movie goers, and a luxury not appreciated by a critic that I don't need to name. This movie was filled with laughs, but still managed to tell a truly genuine story. A story about people that get trapped in their dead end jobs, and struggle to find happiness and try to decide what they want in life. Eventually teaching acceptance and promoting individualism rather than trying to live up to some kind of social standard.

    I was very impressed with the casting, everyone was great, and it was great to see some familiar faces, Afflec and Lee really left an impression even though they were only present in one scene each. Smith really presents a dramatic tone with his directing, a tone which is rarely set nowadays with most directors trying to match the style of Spielberg, Hitchcock, or (insert successful director here), and leave the movie looking like an impression, Smith isn't afraid to use his own style. Most movies today are very cookie cutter, but this is a refreshing change. What happened to directors just directing, instead of trying to follow a formula to get rich? Smith is a genuine and modest filmmaker, we can only hope that he keeps making movies, and maybe he'll inspire more "Hollywood" directors to stick to good/original material rather than weak big budget movies with all the latest young stars stinking up the screen. Cheers to Kevin Smith, cheers to Clerks II.

    9 / 10
  • Poetz2bz21 July 2006
    You don't see the words excellent sequel together very often but this film lives up to them. I have not laughed out loud in a movie in a very long time. I almost couldn't catch my breath from laughing so hard. This movie is just awesome. Kudos Mr. Smith and crew. Every part of this movie is worth watching from the opening credits to the very last frame of the film. Kevin Smith plays to the fans of his films and we appreciate every last bit of it. We are rabid and loyal and this film does not disappoint. At the theatre I watched it in the entire audience cheered when it began and were clapping and cheering at the end. I could have watched it again immediately.
  • Wow, the return of the clerks, indeed! I went to a pre-screening last night of Clerks II and let me say that it was actually really good. The title, as Mr. Smith explained, has been simplified to undersell the movie so fans and moviegoers in general will be pleasantly surprised when they see it. So here is my contribution to word-of-mouth advertising: if you liked ANYTHING about Clerks I, go see Clerks II. More of the same and then some; and then some more. I have always been hit-or-miss with Kevin Smith and, sadly, the original Clerks was still my favorite of the group. And this movie is his best yet.(In fact, the only way I can appreciate "Mallrats" is to watch it with the audio commentary on.) To me, Mr. Smith is a lot funnier when he's just add-libbing. He said during his Q & A, last night, that they spent more time on this movie in pre-production than all the other movies combined and it shows. I am sure he was kidding but this movie is actually well written, very well acted (Rosario especially; she is the topping that is going to make this movie sell), and just well thought out in general. Good pacing (especially with the sight gags, one after another) and the Decalogue that I've come to appreciate is priceless. Like the argument over which franchise has the better "Return" movie; "Lord of the Rings" or "Star Wars". Clerks II has become my favorite movie of the summer and I hope it becomes the sleeper hit of the summer because it is just that good. Oh, and Kevin, if you're reading this, sorry about the title, I am sure you pondered it. Maybe if you hadn't already used "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back"?
  • I can't believe that people have the audacity to say that Clerks fans won't be disappointed. OK that may be true about the "Clerks fans" that became so after seeing seeing Dogma and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back first and said, "Oh, it's Kevin Smith's first movie and I love it, but Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back is still my favorite." But for the people who were fans of the original for the right reasons, and from the beginning (ex. those who were able to appreciate how innovative and intelligent this low-budget gem was), this is a steamy piece of unoriginal excrement. I mean how many recycled quips did this travesty use. I think Kevin Smith ran out of ideas and still wants to get paid, which is a damn shame, because he was the man for independent cinema. Now, just another sell-out hack. The box office sales will verify that last statement. Big bucks, little imagination. "Another one bites the dust..." or maybe he bit it a while back. Anyone who likes this film is advocating monotony and mediocrity. And that's all I got to say about that.

    "You people voted for Hubert Humphrey, and you killed Jesus!"
  • shutterboss18 July 2006
    I saw an early screening of C2 and I must say that the flick is way better than anyone thought it would be. Mr. Smith is back in prime form and I would dare to say that this is quite possibly his best work yet. Granted, this is not a film for everyone but, if you are not offended by purposefully vulgar humor, C2 should be on your "must see" list. Dante (Brian O' Halloran) and Randal (Jeff Anderson) are back with their humorous banter as if a whole decade had not gone by since we saw them last. Dante/Brian is practically flawless as the straight man while Randal/Jeff is one of the funniest actors around and their on-screen chemistry is simply wonderful. The new guy Elias (Trevor Fuhrman from "Now You Know") is a clever addition to the group while Rosario Dawson shines her irresistible charm on this little world of dysfunctional employees. The combination is a winning one and, if you add an healthy dose of Jay and Silent Bob to the mix, and even a musical number worthy of "The Blues Brothers", you have quite possibly the best comedy of the summer. This film is enjoyable even if you are not familiar with the original Clerks, but it's even better if you are. To top it all off, Kevin Smith shows us that he has learned from his mistakes and has now mastered the fine art of balancing comedy with truly heartfelt moments, staying clear of the sappiness that sunk "Jersey Girl". At the end of the film there were quite a few shiny eyes in the audience... bravo Mr Smith! You pulled off your best trick yet.
  • A review of CLERKS II, or any of Kevin Smith's films, must begin with the obligatory reference to CLERKS.

    I liked CLERKS when I first saw it years ago. But since then, the quality of Smith's films, including my interest, has dropped steadily since, culminating in the god awful JERSEY GIRL. My interest was piqued, however, when CLERKS II was announced. I thought it was a mistake for Smith to do a sequel, but since it was the one film of his I enjoyed, I figured I would give him the benefit of the doubt.

    Nope. Mistake. Smith's trajectory downward continues unabated. I really wanted to like this film. However, just because I wanted to give CLERKS II a pass and like it, couldn't prevent the fact that it's a poorly written, acted, and directed film. And at it's very core, it was created by a lazy auteur. Little attempt is made to create realistic dialogue, believable characters or even a credible fast food restaurant.

    Taking place some 10 odd years in the future, CLERKS II finds our heroes, Dante and Randal, played respectively by Brian O'Halloran and Jeff Anderson from CLERKS, still slaving away at their dead end jobs at the Quick Stop and Video Store until a fire forces them to finally move on. Moving on, however, only means moving down the street to another dead end called Moobys, a fictional fast food restaurant Smith resurrected from his View Askewniverse. The other cast of characters includes Mooby's manager Becky (played by Rosario Dawson) with an inexplicable crush on Dante, Emma (poorly cast Jennifer Schwalbach, Smith's wife) with an inexplicable engagement to Dante, and goody two shoes employee Elias (played rather bizarrely by Trevor Fehrman). Also, the previously defunct Jay (Jason Mewes) and Silent Bob (Kevin Smith) make appearances as well. Also, several of Smiths celebrity friends, Wanda Sykes, Ben Affleck, and Jason Lee make uninspired cameos.

    So, Dante is moving to Florida with his fiancé, Emma, to live happily ever after. The movie takes place on his last day at Moobys. Dante's co-workers are unhappy with his decision to leave for the sunshine state for their own various reasons. Becky, Dante's occasional lover, secretly pines for him. Randal, his long time co-worker, wants his best friend and foil to stay put in New Jersey. And the plot line that follows, is, in spirit, if not in story, a rougher version of JERSEY GIRL, with the same sappy and forced sentimentality, but with profanity and lots of sex jokes.

    I could accept the contrived plot, if the film was funny, but it really isn't. What worked in CLERKS, was that it seemed fresh and original. Hearing, essentially, the same dialogue, ten years on, doesn't prompt laughter as much as it does boredom. Smith's characters have always been mouthpieces for either his sophomoric philosophy or his humor. But, as I've mentioned, they might work once or twice, but seven films in? It's the same thing over and over. His characters sound exactly like the writer, himself.

    This is most evident during a argument between Randal and Elias about Lord of the Rings vs. Star Wars. Randal, in defense of Star Wars, points out that LTR, is merely a film about walking, and proceeds to demonstrate. This is the same bit, Smith used once on the Tonight Show a awhile back. Interestingly, no one in Leno's audience really laughed at the bit, a harbinger of things to come for CLERKS II,I guess.

    The acting is pretty poor and the ensemble cast comes across more as a group of friends getting together to play with some camera equipment they found then actual actors. The exception to this is Rosario Dawson and Jeff Anderson. Both do pretty well with the material they're given. As for everyone else, well, there wasn't much there. Trevor Fehrman plays Elias as an exaggeration and as such, the character comes across as retarded and almost non-functioning. Either Fehrman isn't a very good actor or Smith didn't give him much direction, probably a combination of both. As for Jennifer Schwalbach, did anyone mention to Smith that since she's already sleeping with the director, he didn't have to give her a part. Schwalbach isn't a good actress and comes across fairly wooden much in the same way that O'Halloran does, and was clearly miscast. She looks much older then the others, 40ish to their 30ish, anorexic and, with her bleached hair, completely out of place. Not only did I have trouble believing that she'd be interested in Dante, but also that she'd even live in New Jersey. The make out scene between Dante and Emma is one of the most unnatural love scenes I think I've ever scene. Awkward and unnatural for both the performers and audience.

    It's easy to pick on Smith for his weight, or, make other personal attacks, but he may find the following the most insulting. Kevin Smith needs to either read some books on film-making or take some film classes, probably both. I'm certain they have some good screen writing classes out in Los Angeles. Whatever indie rebel status he once had with the quirky gem CLERKS, is now completely lost as he churns out one tiresome dud after another.

    Watching CLERKS II is like watching a very poor public speaker give a presentation. Just as you'd cringe at every stutter and nervous rambling with a poor speaker, hoping they'll get better, the more I cringed watching CLERKS II and hoped it would get better. It never did. Relief came only when it was over.

    The best way to sum up my experience with CLERKS II is with Becky's line upon entering the donkey scene, "It's disgusting and revolting yet I can't look away." Kind of how I felt throughout CLERKS II. However, in the future, as far as Kevin Smith's films are concerned, I intend to look away.
  • Abysmal- Kevin Smith is a facile, pointless director. This film is boring, trite, annoying and just plain unfunny.

    The dialogue sounds like something from a cut scene from a terrible video game (i.e. stifled, overtly simplistic and boring). THe man is practically directing this film with the purpose of vilifying anyone with any sense of morality or decency. I'm tired of this world giving credence to the cretins- Kevin Smith is just a pathetic, delusional loser that has exploited the malaise of the world (and lost individuals within it) to further his own self propelled vision of nothing. Hail the king.

    The affirmation of nothing propped up by the metaphorical destruction of any individual paradigms makes me sick. That bearded minstrel needs a good kicking.

    Watch it and regret it
  • Chief_Macho15 January 2007
    I've never felt the need to write a review before. Yet, now that I am choking on disappointment I wanted to script a brief opinion hoping Kevin Smith may read this.

    I love Clerks. I also respected Chasing Amy. Mallrats I liked, but now feel doesn't hold up well. Overall, I think Mr. Smith has put out enough work to be fully weighed as a movie maker. He's not very talented. Clerks 2 demonstrates this. It is just plain lame. I can't imagine it took him more than a week to write. If it did, he is wasting his life. There is nothing artist, important or interesting in this work. Seriously Kevin, you should find something better to do with your time. You should have finished film school. Its really just pussy, wimpy weak ass work. I cant tell you how disappointed I am in where your career has gone.
  • This film was bad on so many levels I don't even know where to begin.

    Not funny was the main problem, and not because it had no potential to be, but the comedic timing was way way off. The "witty" dialogs amounted to a pile of hog wash missing their mark every time.

    Combine this with some of the worse acting ever seen on the silver screen. True Jeff Anderson wasn't much of an actor to begin with, but all of his boyish charm is completely gone, it's almost like he's not even trying to be funny.

    Out right offensive. I am not someone who gets squeamish about a little profanity and perverse sexual behavior, but here its much more explicit then in the first film. The sex talk there was extremely funny, this movie just makes you say "that's gross". I don't even remember when was the last time I said "gross" about a movie. Thanks Kevin for proving that my poor taste is not without bounds.

    Sentimental and Cheesy. There are many tasteful ways to make a film with a tacky message. This film did not employ any of them. It's like one of those self help tapes, with reassuring messages about friends and love being force fed to you in a most brutal way.

    Redundant musical transitions. If you hated those montages in all those 80's films, this movie tops them all beware.

    In conclusion I would describe this film as "Totaly retarded meets the will to purge". This a far far cry of a shadow of the original clerks. The only reason this film was made is to make an uninspiring and narcissistic Smith some more money.
  • Yep. Although he seems like a nice enough guy to grab a beer with and shoot the gab. Unfortunately he can't write dialogue and I'm tired of the same tired old clichés and flat jokes he trots out every two or three years to keep his mouth-breathing perpetually pubescent fanbase satisfied. Was I expecting an enlightening experience from Clerks II? Of course not. But I was expecting a few laughs, and I didn't get them. A couple of chuckles here and there, but nothing I wouldn't get from listening to drunks outside my window on a Friday night. And that's unscripted and free of charge.

    Atom Egoyan is often nailed by critics for overusing his questionably talented wife in lead roles, but he's got nothing on Smith. Good lord. Having to watch Emma and Dante make out stands as one of the most unpleasant things I've ever had to bear witness to. The "boob" flash was the runny icing on the dried out cake. I had to stop the movie and check the IMDb to see who she was and how on earth she was cast as Rosario Dawson's competition. Not much of a contest. I mean, fair enough, it's admirable that Smith is looking out for the love of his life, but damn. A hint of verisimilitude couldn't hurt could it? Rosario Dawson vs. Veiny Cokehead Anorexic Washed-Up-Porn-Starlet looking girl doesn't really come off as a fair fight. But I'm being mean. Sorry. But in all seriousness, get that woman some friggin protein. For the love of god.

    So yeah, I didn't like the movie. But who cares, right? Kevin Smith's legions of fanboys will keep him warm and safe at night, and are most likely yelling "EFF OFF!" and "LIKE YOU COULD DO ANY BETTER!" at the computer screen as they read this.

    Hopefully he'll retire from film-making and concentrate on blogging.
  • tamemlin20 July 2010
    I liked Clerks. It was funny and refreshing at the time. That was 1994. I had high hopes for Kevin Smith. Fast forward over a decade and that hope has vanished. Clerks 2 is utterly dreadful.

    This is absolutely pathetic film-making. Smith has never been much of a visual director; his films have always been slow and static. But now any flair for dialogue he ever had has gone. What you get are completely unlikable characters spouting foul-mouthed chunks of awful bile. None of it is funny or fresh. It all sounds like the stuff a desperate fanboy might come up with. And I guess that's all Kevin Smith is at heart. He should go and work in a video store where he might amuse the odd customer with a speech about Lord of the Rings. His career in film should be over.

    Contender for worst sequel of all time. A disgrace.
  • Clerks II

    Has it been 10 years since Clerks I? You wouldn't know it by the look of the meaningless sequel Clerks II. Director Kevin Smith makes the exact same mistakes he made in the his first train wreck; he wrote another terrible, meandering script filled with his unoriginal opinions on pop culture and sex, he cast the same fumbling and predictable actors, once again he shows absolutely no consistency or vision as a director and he tops it all off with a haphazard editing style. Clerks II is awful from start to finish, the product of a diseased mind with nowhere to go but down.

    To be fair, I walked into the screening fully expecting to hate Clerks II like I hated Mallrats (1995), like I hated Chasing Amy (1997), like I hated Dogma (1999) and like I really hated Jersey Girl (2004). Kevin Smith is proof that anything is possible…as long as the Weinstein brothers have chosen you as a pet project. I just feel sorry for the no-talent slackers out there who will watch Clerks II and think, "I can do that!" Sure you can, if Harvey Weinstein writes you a check for $5,000,000 and promises to have MGM distribute whatever crappy movie you produce. Yep, any dream can come true.

    A decade of poor film-making hasn't made any difference in the quality of film Smith produces because he had no talent to begin with. There is no reason to pay good money to see this movie when you will eventually find it at Salvation Army for $0.75. Spend thirty seconds on any comic book forum or bestiality chat room and you will read material that is far more interesting and original. And if you randomly steal threads off those sites and cram them into an uninspired plot line then you will end up with Clerks II.

    Some of the high points include "interspecies erotica", Jason Mewes's butt crack, vomit, ass to mouth, geek-bashing and a punch line that goes, "You weren't the one who got mayo in her cooch." Or were those the low points?

    Rosario Dawson must've really been shooting up heroin in her Rent (2005) role to get dragged into this disaster. She is miscast because SHE CAN ACTUALLY ACT. She makes the rest of the cast look exactly like the amateur Jersey mooks they really are. "Did you see the size of that cock," gasps Dawson in a moment that pushes cinema backwards about 50 years. Don't be surprised if Kevin Smith now has to make his living at Comic Con selling autographs, because making movies just isn't his bag.

    The notes I took during the film should be enough to keep you away: "Terrible opening." "What is the opposite of funny?" "Dialogue couldn't be worse." "It's like a vulgar commercial for ITT Tech. I keep waiting for someone to say 'Call now for your free brochure.'" "Awful." "MGM must stand for More Ghastly Movies."

    Kevin Smith says, "All the fear about besmirching the original went out the door the minute I was finished with the script." I have no doubt that it did.

    Score Card:

    Number of times I covered my eyes in sheer agony: 5

    Number of times Dante "shakes his head disapprovingly" at Randal: 10+

    Number of times I shook my head disapprovingly at the screen: 50

    Number of vomit inducing '80s-style music video montages: 3

    Number of people who walked out of the screening: 2

    Number of times I wanted to walk out of the screening: 98

    Number of inane references to Buffalo Bill in Silence of The Lambs: 2

    Number of times I saw the San Bernardino Mts. in the background of New Jersey: 1

    Number of times I laughed: 1 (I remembered a scene from Dumb and Dumber)

    Grand Total: Don't see this movie.

    Grade F

    Clerks II Cast: Brian O'Halloran, Jeff Anderson, Rosario Dawson Director: Kevin Smith MPAA Rating: R Runtime: 98 minutes Release Company: MGM
  • I'll admit this is one of only two films I've ever walked out on. I feel awful saying that as a loyal Kevin Smith and Clerks fan, however, twelve years later, the characters just aren't funny. The lives and antics of Dante and Randall (and of course Jay and Silent Bob) simply fell short, ridiculousness of their situations was more an explanation of why one should go to college than comedy. The characters were inconsistent with other movies in which they appear, and though the acting was decent, I cower when I say Smith directing left a bit to be desired. While looking for a plot in this genre of film is a (welcome) exercise in futility, I spent the first hour waiting for something...anything.

    I feel awful when I say this, but while I would recommend anything else by Kevin Smith, this simply doesn't match up.
  • twoandfour1 August 2006
    Face it pal, like your two main protagonists in this mess, you ain't in your twenties and your pseudo-slacker act don't cut it anymore. You're a chubby, rich, white trash, chain smoking putz with a foul-mouth and generous streak of good-luck.

    Clerks II is an abomination. It's the most manipulative, cheap piece of dreck I've seen in a very long time. If the movie isn't straining to be vulgar, it's sagging under the weight of clichéd, sappy sentimentality (My god man, didn't Jersey Girl teach you anything?) The cast (and I'm not dignifying them with the term "actors") talk at each other and sometimes it looks as if they are loitering around waiting to say their next line. Or waiting for a cab, it's all the same thing.

    And I think you know what a bad movie this is. A majority of your defensive, post-opening week rhetoric focuses on the eventual profits this thing will reap in DVD sales. Not one word with regards to the content of the film. At least when JG tanked, you defended the film as a genuine effort to tell a more mature story.

    So grow up Smith, step away from the Internet, stop with the lame ghetto-talk on your self-serving web site (hey gang, peeps my previews here) and try to come up with something that doesn't rely on tired drug, sex and poop jokes.

    By the way, you're awfully proud of that eight minute standing ovation at Canne. Dare I mention that sarcasm is finely tuned art form throughout Europe and the audience may have treated you to a prolonged example? Or maybe they were happy that it was over?
  • There have been few films that I've watched and have literally felt sick to my stomach as a result. The first was "The Blair Witch Project" where she opens the bag and finds the guys eyes inside and the second one was Clerks 1 just about every time someone spoke. So really, I don't know why I sat down expecting the sequel to be something I'd enjoy. In all honestly, I truly believe that the common everyday viewer's standards have lowered. Its movies like this that prove you can mash a movie together with a bunch of crude, unintelligent, slag quality elements and still get a hit. The characters were contradictory, trite, repetitive, uninteresting, contrived, and just flat out annoying. The directing was unimaginative, stale, and confusing. It had hints at a plot, and then about an hour and a half of crass, mindless wandering. But still, its not so much in the watching of the film, but rather the positive reaction and overwhelming success of this movie that makes me sick to my stomach. Please, please, don't watch this movie and encourage the mindless, low grade, cookie cutter, American Pie, Fast and Furious type entertainment that big corporate studios gear towards young crowds. Try to watch something with some merit! Whether its the music, the acting, or the cinematography, watch and encourage others to watch something with some value! Not this pig slop, pisspoor excuse for entertainment.
  • Warning: Spoilers
    I loved Clerks. It was brilliant. It is a cult-classic. Clerks II should be pulled from the shelves of all video stores and burned; the ashes placed on a barge and shipped off to Staten Island.

    The Plot: Quick Mart burns down. Dante and Randall get jobs at a fast food joint. Dante and Randall are depressed because they are lame. Jay and Silent Bob give them $50,000.00 to reopen Quick Mart. Dante and Randall are happy again.

    Clerk's II is improperly categorized as comedy when it is really sci-fi. For example:

    -Hottie Rosario Dawson is head-over-heels in love with fat loser Brian O'Halloran.

    -Hottie Jennifer Shwalbach Smith is head-over heels in love with fat loser Brian O'Halloran.

    -Neurotic, uptight, prudish O'Halloran has unprotected sex with sexual deviant Rosario Dawson.

    -Silent Bob and Jay inexplicably have $50,000.00.

    -Silent Bob and Jay inexplicably give their $50,000.00 to Dante and Randall, no questions asked, no collateral, nada.

    -$50,000 is enough money to clean-up, re-open and restock the Quick Mart, pay the liability insurance, rent, phone, electricity, payroll and all of the other major expenses associated with running a Quick Mart.

    -Ben Affleck has two lines in the whole movie....and his acting still stinks.

    -Multimillionaire Jason Leigh goes out of his way to visit Randall and Dante to taunt them about working in a fast food joint yet Leigh is known as pickle-f*cker because the football team anally sodomized him with a pickle back in high school. Way to pick your battles, Jase.

    Bottom line, let's take a Mulligan on this one, Kev. How about trying for "Clerks II, The Re-Do"? It can't get any worse the second time 'round.
  • If this was the best Kevin Smith could do after 12 years, we will really be in trouble when Clerks III comes out. I wanted to leave after 5 minutes. It was like a train wreck. Horrible acting, horrible dialog, weak plot, even the cameo's were bad.

    And I thought Silent Bob and Jay Returns was terrible. Kevin should have stopped after Dogma. He is just Seriously selling out now. The acting was so over the top I thought everyone were on crack. Rosario does a good job in this flick, but everyone else just disappeared. Also, what about having at least ONE person with a Jersey accent. After all, it was Supposed to be shot in a small Jersey town. Luckily I only spent $3 on the tickets, or I would have been really ticked about losing that much time of my life. My brain wanted to set my eyes on fire for Christ's sake.
  • Warning: Spoilers
    Most main-stream comedies would try to have over-the-top fantasy life premises, in which the audience can lance on, because how bizarre & surreal, it is. However, some of the better comedies, known for their Seinfeldian humor, idiosyncratic focus on more conversational everyday stuff that some audience might find mundane. Then, there are those, whom can mix, both of them, well-enough, that the audience can find, the simplest of premise, funny. This is one of those movies. Directed & written by Kevin Smith, Clerks 2 is a follow-up to the highest successful 1994's movie, Clerks and Smith's sixth feature film to be set in the View Askewniverse AKA Kevin Smith's fictional universe from the first film. Ten years after the events in Clerks, Dante Hicks (Brian O'Halloran) & Randal Graves (Jeff Anderson) find themselves working at a local fast food joint, after their previous work, Quick Stop Store, burned down, a year ago. Dante has plans to move away from town and get married, but Randal cannot yet, allow his long-last friend to leave, without one last goodbye party. While, Randal set up the party at the workplace, Dante is struggles with his mixed feelings for his current boss, manager, Becky Scott (Rosario Dawson) & his love for his fiancée, Emma Bunting (Jennifer Schwalbach). Will the goodbye party go according plan, or will Dante & Randal find themselves, making a bigger mess than before? Watch the movie to find out! Without spoiling the movie, too much, I have to say, it's nice to see Kevin Smith retackling his old films; however, in retrospect, it's generally viewed as Smith trying to rebound after his commercial failure in his non-View Askewniverse movie, 2004's Jersey Girl. Much like the original movie, the sequel to Clerks, also take place over the course of one day, and loosely connected with a series of small discussion skits and gags. But unlike, the first movie, the movie doesn't make too much jokes about the settling of the film. For a movie that mostly takes place at a fast food joint. I'm really surprised on the lack of jokes about junk food. You would think, the movie would be full of it. Anyways, the movie instead, tackles other issues, such as debates over movies, sexual positions, religion, racism, and romantic love versus pragmatic life choices. Like the first movie, the dialogue is rife with obscenities. Over 130 curse words, to start, as well as a lot of homosexual & racism slurs. The movie also has explicit jokes about bestiality, rape & others that some people might feel uncomfortable with. For me, the oddest thing about the film is having Jason Mewes as Jay do his 1991's the Silence of the Lambs, "Goodbye Horses" dance. That was really out of place & inappropriate. Even with all those, kinda offensive humor and jokes. There were some witty, somewhat heartfelt moments in the film. I did like the whole Jackson 5 'ABC" musical number. For the most part, all of these scenes serves mostly as filler. It really takes forever, for the weak main plot to kick in. The fact that the majority of that scene was ad-libbed, added to the pacing problems. While, the movie is not well-paced. The acting in this film was pretty good for the most part. The main actors, supporting actors, and cameos, all did their parts, very well. I have to say, my favorite actor in this, had to be Trevor Fehrman as Elias Grover, Dante and Randal's new co-worker at the Mooby's fast food chain. It sucks that he hasn't acted since this movie, because I found him to be, very funny. The worst acting in the film has to go to Jennifer Schwalbach. I'm really didn't buy anything, she was saying. Her performance was so wooden. Another thing, that was way different from the first movie, is how this sequel was in color & not in black & white. But as mentioned in the DVD commentary for this film, the entire film was desaturated, a bit after filming, because the colors were far too bright and cheery. In my opinion, I didn't mind that it was, as it adds so much to the cartoony astrosphere, giving the film a far, greater look. It reminds me, so much of the early 2000's animated TV Series Clerks with its style. Overall: While, Clerks 2 will never outshine the original. I have to say, it's still a watchable guilty pleasure of mine. Worth checking out. Face it tiger. You just hit the jackpot!
  • christoforadams17 August 2006
    Did this piece of garbage make it past preproduction? And how on earth can you people think that it's better than the original? I honestly can't fathom how so many people can be so impervious to the awful acting that clearly fails to tie this movie together. The only redeeming performances were of course, Jay and Silent Bob. Randall seemed as if he'd acquired down's syndrome somewhere in the past 12 years. His character was completely, 100%, unrelatable and unrealistic. Did I mention pathetic? No? Okay, add pathetic too. I was ashamed to be among those who actually saw the movie in the theater. I decided to take a massive dose of heroin 5 minutes into the movie just to make it bearable.
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