The Andromeda Strain

Save yourself a few tedious hours, skip this crap and see the 1971 original. This is another example of a movie that has nothing going for it but the good feelings a viewer might have about the original. (How appropriate that I first saw a commercial for it while waiting for the lousy "Indiana Jones 4" to begin.)

So, so, so much padding! (And even so, A&E managed to stuff in almost 80 minutes of commercials in the two night run.) Ridiculous plot lines that go nowhere (the Geraldo-style reporter, "vent-mining"), unnecessary time-waster shots of animals eating each other (all just to establish the infection vector of a rat dropped onto a group of National Guardsmen) family squabbles that go nowhere... all of these had the unmistakable feel of an effort to reach a predetermined running time. The problem is, when length is more important a goal than quality, nothing can be left on the cutting-room floor. Trimmed to two hours, this just might have been a watchable movie.

Even if decently edited to tighten up the pacing, there's then the problem of reeediculous plot devices that were added to this adaptation. For example:

• Telepathic germs (you gotta be freaking kidding)

• Messages from the future (I wish I was freaking kidding) --- Note to you guys in the future: instead of the cryptic "739528", maybe "hey, look on the space station!" would get your point across a little better

• Orbiting wormholes (still not kidding)

• Blackbird attacks that kill soldiers in helmets and full combat gear (shades of Alfred Hitchcock)

• Endless blather about "vent mining", and even a terrorist attack on a vent mining platform. ----- (Oops! did we forget to explain what that had to do with the story?)

• "Pass the thumb"

• Andromeda racing across the countryside turning everything yellow.

• Dime-store CGI (we're talking "Sci-Fi Channel Original" quality) used even in scenes where the real thing would have been easier and more effective: flame throwers, dried blood sifting from a cut, the inexplicable falling debris in the core.

• Is the action dragging? Time for some Guardsmen to buy the farm!

• Hollywood leftist paranoia: the evil team of General Mancheck and Colonel Farris, military hit men, NSA stashing a final vial of the pathogen, and (my personal favorite) the company Enburton (Enron + Halliburton?) running the vent mining operation.

Michael Crichton wrote the original novel of "The Andromeda Strain", and the 1971 movie remembered so fondly by many was a quite faithful adaptation. You've heard of Michael Crichton because he has written lots of exciting and interesting science fiction, much of which has been turned into movies (of varying quality.)

This adaptation was written by Robert Schenkkan. You likely haven't heard of him, because he's been asked to write almost nothing else for the screen. Judging from this production, there would seem to be a reason for that. He has written a number of well-received plays, but apparently that talent does not translate well to television; what I recall of his 2004 "Spartacus" miniseries was on the level of "Andromeda". (Trekkie alert: as a C-list actor, Schenkkan is best remembered for eating an alien cockroach and then getting his head blown up, when he played Commander Remmick in the ST:TNG first-season episode "Conspiracy".)

If this is the best A&E can do, I hope that in the future they'll just stay out of the science fiction genre. At the very least they should produce original stories, instead of mucking up remakes of perfectly good predecessors.

I'll never get those four hours back, but you still have a chance to miss this movie. Consider yourself warned.

When the capsule of the Scoop Mission returns to Earth and lands in the small town of Piedmont, Utah, it brings a mutant living being and all the population, except a crying baby and an old man with ulcer, dies with clotted blood. A team of five scientists - the leader Dr. Jeremy Stone (Benjamin Bratt), Dr. Angela Noyce (Christa Miller), Dr. Tsi Chou (Daniel Dae Kim), Dr. Charlene Barton (Viola Davis) and Major Bill Keane MD (Ricky Schroder) - are summoned and gathered together in the top secret Wildfire facility. Fighting against time, they try to understand the reason why the old man and the baby survived and research an antidote to Andromeda, the ultimate biological weapon.

I wrote the above summary – with the exceptions of the names of Dr. Stone's scientist's team – in my review of the original sci-fi classic of 1971. The great pacifist story is basically the same, only longer due to updates in special effects and useless subplots with government conspiracies. I usually hate remakes, but sometimes I find reasonable surprises; but I do not know the objective of this tiresome and totally unnecessary remake. My vote is six.

Title (Brazil): "O Enigma de Andrômeda" ("The Enigma of Andromeda")

During the late sixties, Michael Crichton wrote a novel about contamination with an alien microorganism. At that time, science was hailed as the pinnacle of human achievement and it was thought that anything is possible. Therefore it is normal for the book and the subsequent film from 1971 to focus on the science, on the formalism, on the way people think their way out of a situation.

Fast forward to 2008. People are dumber, science is a joke, people need to look good and the design must be perfect. Some horrible deaths and some fear of government conspiracy or terrorism is the only way tension can be achieved.

The problem is that I have anticipated this. My own theory says that if you expect it to happen, there won't be a negative response, yet I am terribly angry at this mini series BECAUSE it was exactly what I expected. Things have been added to the original story that make no sense and make no sense to add: government black ops, wormholes, message from the future, ecological controversy over ocean vent mining, etc, etc. As expected the effects were really good, the people looked good, the computer interface design was flawless. And it all fell completely empty.

If you are familiar to The Andromeda Strain book or 1971 movie, you might find it interesting to see how it can go horribly wrong. Otherwise, just watch the 1971 version. It is slow paced, faithful to the book and a lot more interesting.

This starts off well, and if you're hoping for Crichton's complex/tense gem of a novel you'll soon be disappointed. They throw every sci fi cliché into this one. The evil govt. conspiracy (to get the master weapon); the plucky reporter; a nuke; a master monster; plenty of sci fi babble; and in the end a 10-9-8 countdown-will our hero be able to save himself and his team-followed by a "it's not over yet" fade out. Just when you think they've run out of clichés they pull another one out and throw it at you.

Ridley Scott you should be ashamed of yourself!This blots your copy book big time! LUDICROUS!!!! For teens only; they'll think it's cool!

I have not read Crichton's novel, and have no intention of ever doing so, so I cannot compare either version to it, only the two to each other. This aired as four one-hour episodes, with commercials, so without, the running time was probably around 180 minutes. That gives it more time to explore the concept, and though some of it is used on action(!) and pushing PC(not computer, the other kind) messages, it is utilized. This very much tries to "update" the story. Where the original had a masterfully established atmosphere of isolation, claustrophobia and sterility, in the design of the lab, this one has it be high-tech and futuristic(because they can), and has plenty of scenes taking place outside of it as well as contact between inside and out. The subtle, skillful and careful cinematography and editing of the film are discarded for stylizing the crap out of a lot of what we see, and at least a little of it is frankly silly. This has excellent special effects, and it does tend to be well-shot. Dialog and acting are good, if Miller is so similar to her recurring role on Scrubs that it is a constant distraction. The plot is reasonable, and develops nicely. This has a couple of interesting science fiction ideas gone over. I recommend this to fans of virus flicks. 7/10