The Andromeda Strain

I have not read Crichton's novel, and have no intention of ever doing so, so I cannot compare either version to it, only the two to each other. This aired as four one-hour episodes, with commercials, so without, the running time was probably around 180 minutes. That gives it more time to explore the concept, and though some of it is used on action(!) and pushing PC(not computer, the other kind) messages, it is utilized. This very much tries to "update" the story. Where the original had a masterfully established atmosphere of isolation, claustrophobia and sterility, in the design of the lab, this one has it be high-tech and futuristic(because they can), and has plenty of scenes taking place outside of it as well as contact between inside and out. The subtle, skillful and careful cinematography and editing of the film are discarded for stylizing the crap out of a lot of what we see, and at least a little of it is frankly silly. This has excellent special effects, and it does tend to be well-shot. Dialog and acting are good, if Miller is so similar to her recurring role on Scrubs that it is a constant distraction. The plot is reasonable, and develops nicely. This has a couple of interesting science fiction ideas gone over. I recommend this to fans of virus flicks. 7/10

I have learned, over the years, that whenever a movie or TV show has a an overwhelming amount of background music then it is usually trying to disguise something that isn't working. That is the first tip-off that this version of Andromeda Strain is of poor quality. Thank goodness for Close-Captions, since much of the dialogue was covered by music. As a science-fiction thriller, Andromeda Strain could have benefited from the advances in our knowledge over the last 37 years since the original movie. This retelling does, indeed, offer a version that has some good updates and that is the only reason I am rating it as high as a 4. I found it a tremendous struggle to stay with this production which, ultimately, is bloated and mediocre.

During the late sixties, Michael Crichton wrote a novel about contamination with an alien microorganism. At that time, science was hailed as the pinnacle of human achievement and it was thought that anything is possible. Therefore it is normal for the book and the subsequent film from 1971 to focus on the science, on the formalism, on the way people think their way out of a situation.

Fast forward to 2008. People are dumber, science is a joke, people need to look good and the design must be perfect. Some horrible deaths and some fear of government conspiracy or terrorism is the only way tension can be achieved.

The problem is that I have anticipated this. My own theory says that if you expect it to happen, there won't be a negative response, yet I am terribly angry at this mini series BECAUSE it was exactly what I expected. Things have been added to the original story that make no sense and make no sense to add: government black ops, wormholes, message from the future, ecological controversy over ocean vent mining, etc, etc. As expected the effects were really good, the people looked good, the computer interface design was flawless. And it all fell completely empty.

If you are familiar to The Andromeda Strain book or 1971 movie, you might find it interesting to see how it can go horribly wrong. Otherwise, just watch the 1971 version. It is slow paced, faithful to the book and a lot more interesting.

Save yourself a few tedious hours, skip this crap and see the 1971 original. This is another example of a movie that has nothing going for it but the good feelings a viewer might have about the original. (How appropriate that I first saw a commercial for it while waiting for the lousy "Indiana Jones 4" to begin.)

So, so, so much padding! (And even so, A&E managed to stuff in almost 80 minutes of commercials in the two night run.) Ridiculous plot lines that go nowhere (the Geraldo-style reporter, "vent-mining"), unnecessary time-waster shots of animals eating each other (all just to establish the infection vector of a rat dropped onto a group of National Guardsmen) family squabbles that go nowhere... all of these had the unmistakable feel of an effort to reach a predetermined running time. The problem is, when length is more important a goal than quality, nothing can be left on the cutting-room floor. Trimmed to two hours, this just might have been a watchable movie.

Even if decently edited to tighten up the pacing, there's then the problem of reeediculous plot devices that were added to this adaptation. For example:

• Telepathic germs (you gotta be freaking kidding)

• Messages from the future (I wish I was freaking kidding) --- Note to you guys in the future: instead of the cryptic "739528", maybe "hey, look on the space station!" would get your point across a little better

• Orbiting wormholes (still not kidding)

• Blackbird attacks that kill soldiers in helmets and full combat gear (shades of Alfred Hitchcock)

• Endless blather about "vent mining", and even a terrorist attack on a vent mining platform. ----- (Oops! did we forget to explain what that had to do with the story?)

• "Pass the thumb"

• Andromeda racing across the countryside turning everything yellow.

• Dime-store CGI (we're talking "Sci-Fi Channel Original" quality) used even in scenes where the real thing would have been easier and more effective: flame throwers, dried blood sifting from a cut, the inexplicable falling debris in the core.

• Is the action dragging? Time for some Guardsmen to buy the farm!

• Hollywood leftist paranoia: the evil team of General Mancheck and Colonel Farris, military hit men, NSA stashing a final vial of the pathogen, and (my personal favorite) the company Enburton (Enron + Halliburton?) running the vent mining operation.

Michael Crichton wrote the original novel of "The Andromeda Strain", and the 1971 movie remembered so fondly by many was a quite faithful adaptation. You've heard of Michael Crichton because he has written lots of exciting and interesting science fiction, much of which has been turned into movies (of varying quality.)

This adaptation was written by Robert Schenkkan. You likely haven't heard of him, because he's been asked to write almost nothing else for the screen. Judging from this production, there would seem to be a reason for that. He has written a number of well-received plays, but apparently that talent does not translate well to television; what I recall of his 2004 "Spartacus" miniseries was on the level of "Andromeda". (Trekkie alert: as a C-list actor, Schenkkan is best remembered for eating an alien cockroach and then getting his head blown up, when he played Commander Remmick in the ST:TNG first-season episode "Conspiracy".)

If this is the best A&E can do, I hope that in the future they'll just stay out of the science fiction genre. At the very least they should produce original stories, instead of mucking up remakes of perfectly good predecessors.

I'll never get those four hours back, but you still have a chance to miss this movie. Consider yourself warned.

There is a certain type of movie. It's usually a made-for-TV movie, and it's usually an "updated" remake of an older movie.

The cast and story elements are painfully politically correct.

The writers appear to labor under the mistaken assumption that the viewer really doesn't need to be told a coherent story as long as there are a few visual elements from the original and some handsome-looking people emoting at each other. And things blowing up.

If there was a punchline to the original, the film will either ignore, misinterpret, or completely blow it.

The remake of Lathe of Heaven (2002)was such a film.

The remake of The Andromeda Strain (2008) is also such a film. It takes the tight script and edge-of-seat stress and paranoia of the original and substitutes digital effects, things blowing up, and absolutely nonsensical plot. When the time comes for the big reveal (which I won't reveal here), instead of the insightful political message of the original, we get a sophomoric, pasted-on ending that doesn't relate to what's gone before and basically contains no message whatsoever, but does allow one last digital effect.

It's not even bad enough to be good in a campy way. It's just dreary and indecipherable. See the original instead.