Larry Hagman: [voice-over] Tonight, get ready... for the most spectacular reunion of all time! It's the Dallas Reunion... The Return to Southfork. It was the greatest drama series of all time. Filled with thrilling action...

[oil-well explodes]

Larry Hagman: scandalous sex...

Lucy Ewing: [with Ray in the hay-loft] You ever call her Lucy by mistake?

Ray Krebbs: No...

Lucy Ewing: Call me her name...

Larry Hagman: And the most famous event in prime-time television history!

[J.R. gets shot]

Larry Hagman: I'm Larry Hagman. Join me and the original cast of Dallas as we return to Southfork for a one of a kind Texas-sized family reunion.

Jock Ewing: Reunion? What reunion?