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3 April 2018 | lor_
Somewhat akin to bait & switch
Undoubtedly because she was a Sin City contract girl, Shay Sweet gets top billing in a DVD whose central character is Ashley Long titled "Dawn" (even that is Ashley's character name, not Shay's). It's a nothing effort for Brit Porn star Long visiting Chatsworth.

In fact, on an utterly stupid "Director's Commentary" audio track, Francois Clousot and another crew guy make fun of Ashley's British accent repeatedly, as if they were being humorous. FC comes off as a complete idiot, and the actual DVD footage doesn't disabuse me of that conclusion either.

Ashley is a British girl visiting friends in L.A. who suffers through several meet-cute scenes as part of inspector Clousot's concept of a rom-com. I was quite shocked to see Melissa Monet credited with the lame screenplay - she is one of my favorites and this is the first clunker I've seen with her name in the credits.

It takes seemingly forever for the movie to come to a point, namely the tired gambit of three guys who work together all falling in love independently with Dawn = Ashley. When they compare notes and make that discovery, instead of fireworks going off, two of them (BIlly Glide and Steven St. Croix) meekly beg off and cede the wooing to Evan Stone. All that means is that he gets to hump her in the final reel. Per her contract, Shay whose character is Minor with a capital M, gets two of the six sex scenes for herself.

Sophia and Kelly Kline are quite pretty in the supporting cast, and Taylor Rain delivers anal sex on cue. The oddest thing in this production is that Ashley is taller than the male cast members, and yet in a scene where she's heading out of the house to leave L.A. and meets up with all 3 guys, Clousot cluelessly has her standing up the step from them to create an almost Bert I. Gordon cheapie "Village of the Giants" effect in which she literally towers over all of them.

My problem is that I don't really mix them up but always seem to stop dead in my tracks with a tiny confusion generated by Angel Long and Ashley Long: both blonde Brit Porn icons whose careers are coterminous and who both are pushing 6 feet tall with similarly slim figures. Give me a break!

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Adult | Comedy | Romance