[knock on door]

Malcolm Tucker: Come the fuck in or fuck the fuck off.

Other: I'm sorry, could you stop swearing, please?

Malcolm Tucker: I'm really sorry, you won't hear any more swearing from us, YOU MASSIVE GAY SHITE! Fuck off!

Malcolm Tucker: How much fucking shit is there on the menu and what fucking flavour is it?

Hugh Abbott: All I do: I work, I eat, I shower, that's it. Occasionally I take a dump, just as a sort of treat. I mean that really IS my treat. I sit there and I think - no, I'm not gonna read the New Statesman, this time is just for me. This is quality time just for me. Is it normal?

Malcolm Tucker: Sam? Can you get me Terri Coverley and Glenn Cullen? Make them an appointment to come over? I think I got to shout at somebody, you know? Oh, actually, get me John at Culture on the phone, I think I'll have a bit of a shout now.

Malcolm Tucker: [to Jamie, on the phone] There's a glacier of shit at DoSAC. I need you over here with a fucking blow torch right now!

Peter Mannion: Have you ever tried Googling your own name? It's like opening the door to a room where everyone tells you how shit you are