Jack Bourdain: Recipe for failure: take one part natural talent, two parts stellar education, mix with easy success and a generous helping of booze, drugs, and women, and immediately set on fire.

Jack Bourdain: Jim, go to your idiot hole.

Steven Daedelus: Look at this veal! This veal is gorgeous! If I were another veal, I'd be making love to this veal!

Jack Bourdain: Tell me you didn't put the veal down your pants.

Steven Daedelus: So what if I did?

Jack Bourdain: Okay everybody, listen up! I am Jack Bourdain, I'm your new head chef, and this is Greg! Greg, this handsome devil, is a Patagonian toothfish, commonly known as a sea bass. And when combined with garlic and shallots, will become our delicious fish special for this evening.

Tanya: Hello, Greg.

Tyrone: He's leaving? Who's going to cover his shift?

Suze: Paco.

Paco: Fuego! Fuego! Fuego!

Tyrone: Paco keeps bursting into flames!

Steven Daedelus: [whispered at pretty girl in a bar] Please shag our friend.

Steven Daedelus: "Jiminy?" Should I haze him to the point of tears or beyond?

Jack Bourdain: Surprise me.

Jack Bourdain: Tanya, let's talk. Let me start by saying you're very sweet and stylish. One might say that you... you put the "ho" in "hostess."

Tanya: Why, thank you!