Donny: His mind told his vomit to stay inside his stomach.

Joe: Impossible.

Plug: Yeah, puke has a mind of it's own.

Billy: He's not just singing. He's deliberately not stopping.

Joe: What happened to the blowtorch, Plug?

Plug: My dad just laughed at me.

Bradley: She's not very friendly looking.

Plug: I wonder what her other head looks like?

Adam: Oh, hi, Uncle Ed.

Uncle Ed: What's this?

Adam: I was just giving you a hand in here.

Uncle Ed: Last time you tried to give me a hand, you almost chopped your thumb off!

Woody: [to Billy] You're hurting my bike!

Billy: I'm not hurting your bike. I can't hurt a person's bike!

Woody: Well, you're shaking it and it's hitting my dilly dink!

Billy: Don't say stuff like that!

Woody: My dilly dink is my penis!

Billy: No mothers.

Billy: You're gonna see stuff today, Woody and it's just normal stuff that big kids do. And big kids never tell their parents. Do you understand?

Principal "Boiler Head" Burdock: You boys up to something? Ya look a little mischievous.

Twitch: You guys, you just can't steal everything.

Dad: The only way to win is by playing fair.

Woody: Yeah. He got sick from chicken pox, too much Halloween, and putting toothpaste on a lightbulb. And he got sick at the zoo from watching a pig lick itself.

Joe: She hit me in the head. With her head.

Erika: [singing] I wish I had a horse that I could ride, ride, ride.

[throws a rock in the pond]

Woody: [singing] I wish my older brother was dead, dead, dead.

[throws a rock in the pond]

Woody: Billy, I have to poop.

Billy: Get away, Erika. You big giant.

[all the other guys make noises in the background, while Erika storms away, clearly upset]

Joe: [after getting advice from Woody on what makes Billy sick] Thanks, you little midget.

Billy: [later after Billy called Erika a giant] Besides, we're friends.

Erika: [next scene; from her window] Rat.

Twitch: No more cooking in my house! The door is locked! And... and... and I quit your team, Joe!

[holds up an egg beater angrily]

Plug: [on needing a place to cook] Adam's uncle owns the Brown Toad!

Adam: My uncle hates me!

Dad: Want some cake? It's very, um, stale...

Techno Mouth: [describing the witch to Billy] She's this old lady that sells worms to people.

Adam: Yeah, I heard that the worms are as big as people's arms.

Techno Mouth: Don't tell him that!

Adam: I meant as long as a cat's arm.

Mom: Come on! You gotta put on a clean shirt.

Billy: WHAT!