[last lines]

Steve: Foursome?

Steve: Shit, I've left Gordon's foot on the coach... sorry mate.

Steve: Just saw a geezer in a balaklava with a suitcase... No... more of a travel bag.

Billy: Dating's complicated in England.

Steve: English birds ain't complicated. You buy 'em a Bacardi Breezer and they'll ride you like Sea Biscuit.

Gordon: Shall I make a cup of tea?

Steve: [In response to Bill saying he likes Maggie] No offence mate, but you've got more chance of getting shit from a rocking horse.

Steve: [Trousers round his ankles, urinating] Listen - now I know we're mates, but if you look at my cock one more time, I'm gonna kick off.

Billy: What are you talking about? I have not once looked at your winkie!

Steve: You FOUND a pie?

Richard: There are no bears in Hungary. Unless we've crossed the border into Romania, in which case there ARE bears. If we're in Serbia, then... I don't know.

Harris: That's really interesting, Richard. Tell me something: are bears required to stop at borders? Is there some sort of, I don't know, passport control for bears?

Harris: [after Steve finds a tooth in the pie] Bit young to be losing your teeth, Steve.

Steve: It's not my tooth.

Richard: What?

Jill: Could it be the cow's tooth?

Steve: A cow with gold fillings?

Gordon: [after he's lost half his leg and been in a bus crash] I think I've broken my arm

[the group is at breakfast the day after Steve ate the hallucinogenic mushrooms]

Maggie: Are you still tripping?

Steve: No, no. Why are you naked?

George: [takes out the rocket launcher from the case] You label terrorist on it, and I'll kill it.

Gordon: I cooked it for the whole hour.

Coach Driver: [cursing in Hungarian] ... Bob Marley! Bob Marley!

Flamethrower Killer: [yelling at Jill in Hungarian then voice turns sarcastic] Palisade.

Jill: You've made a recruitment video for the Hitler Youth.

Richard: I can't spell success without "u". And you, and you, and you...

Harris: There's only one "u" in success.

Richard: [Talking to Maggie about Palisade Defence, a weapons company] It's a public company. Members of both our governments are on the board. They're not going to do anything immoral!

Steve: You've got about as much chance of getting shit out of a rocking horse!

Gordon: [Steve is eating magic mushrooms, the coach sharply stops] Anyone need first aid?

Steve: I might do in about 20 minutes...