13 April 2006 | duffyboy666
Welcome to Jyparody!
Duffyboy: Good evening ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to the show! Please meet our contestant. Hank!
Hank: It's good to be here Duffyboy!
Duffyboy: OK, You understand the rules of the game?
Hank: Sure thing Duffyboy, fire away!
Duffyboy: OK I'll start with a practice question.
Question: A magnificent and charming man dedicated solely to sifting through the worst of what the multiplex has to offer.
Hank: Who is Duffyboy?
Duffyboy: Nice one son! And now it's time to call up the board. What specialist subject will you like to take?
Hank: OK I'll start with a £10,000 question.
Question: A movie mainly aimed for comedy fans during the Valentines day period.
Hank: What is Date Movie?
Duffyboy: Correct for £10,000!
Hank: OK now I'll move on to £25,000.
Question: These two men are in fact directing their debut effort.
Hank: Who are Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer?
Duffyboy: Well done, here's your £25,000!
Hank: And another £25,000 next please.
Question: 'When Harry Met Mr. & Mrs. Smith at My Legally Blonde Best Friend's Big Fat Greek Wedding in Sweet Home Alabama, which was Crashed by King Kong, Shallow Hal, Napoleon Dynamite, and Bridget Jones as Hitch discovered What Women Want: How To Say Anything To Lose A Guy In Ten Days whenever they Meet the Parents and Kill Bill.
Hank: What is the long scientific expression of Date Movie's title?
Duffyboy: Well done you're doing superb!
Hank: Right now let's move onto the tough ones. £50,000! Question: It's a series of famous moments from movies that may or may not actually be romantic comedies, and then makes a satire of them as if it were concocted by ten-year olds who had never seen the original pictures.
Hank: What is the significant flaw of Date Movie?
Duffyboy: Correct, and for a bonus £15,000
Bonus: They ought to be sued for this type of behaviour.
Hank: What ought to be done to the directors for ripping off Scary Movie and bastardising it?
Duffyboy: Damn you're too freaking good!
Hank: Well then, hit me with another £50,000!
Question: Bought in to desperately inject some life into this movie. She's trying her best but alas to no avail.
Hank: What the hell is Allyson Hannigan doing in this atrocity?! Duffyboy: Sweet!
*The show continues until Hank gets to £500,000.*
Duffyboy: OK Hank, you've done well so far but this is the big one. If you get this right, you double up to £1m and win this fabulous sports car. If not, you're £500,000 is gone. Do you want to gamble?
Hank: How can I possibly lose? I'm going for it!
Duffyboy: You are a brave man. Here we go.
*The studio turns completely dark as the question is asked*
Question: You know what? I have't a clue either.
Hank: Errrrrm.....errrrrm......I think it would be.....Why would anyone ever want to watch this?
Duffyboy: Awwww bad luck Hank! No. The correct answer is, HOW COULD THESE BASTARDS EVEN F**KING LIVE WITH THEMSELVES AFTER PRODUCING SUCH S**T, NEVER MIND THE FACT THAT THEY ALREADY RIPPED OFF SCARY MOVIE, THEN EXPECTED A PAID F**KING AUDIENCE TO SIT AND BE SATISFIED WITH SUCH B*LLOCKS?
Duffyboy: Ah well, you get the consolation prize. A DVD copy of Date Movie! Security, show him out! And now a word from our sponsors!
Sponsor: Don't watch this film.