Private Stories 9: Blue Girls

The DVD liners call these Private compilations of '90s content "Classics", but the 5 short stories in this brief video are boring and uneventful. Despite recognizable talent and some familiar directors at work, the results were worthy of staying on a cutting-room floor, permanently.

Take opener "The Boat and the Parrot" for example. That title sounds like something I made up to describe one of the hundreds of stag films and loops that Something Weird compiled two decades ago in their "Bucky Beaver" VHS series. In fact, it is merely a couple, Nick Lang and Tunde, taking refuge from the snow in Sweden to get on a boat and hump, while a parrot sits on its perch nearby. After Tunde's facial, the camera of d.p./director Mr. Jane Waters pans over to a shot of the parrot before fade-out, as if that meant something.

Equally mindless is "Red Room", shot in Hungary with Anita Dark and Valentina in red underwear getting humped by some local nonentity named Pal Kovisi.

A bigger deal is made of "Three Burglars and a Babe", the generic title referring to studs Sean Rider, Mickey G and Ian Daniels with nylons over their heads invading the abode of Missy, and finding out she's more sexually active than they are. This "Made in America" vignette was shot by the usually more stylish Nic Cramer and does deliver anal sex to the fans, albeit minus the expected d.p.

DVD takes its title from "Blue Girls", a boring episode purportedly shot in Brazil by d.p./director Francois Clousot. Frank Gun got the free ticket to tropical paradise, putting his dick to Irina and Carola, dressed in blue lingerie.

With all the emphasis here on lingerie I'm surprised the Private brain trust didn't hire a fetish expert like Nick Orleans, but the likely explanation is that he was busy at the time (1995-96) shooting big-deal narrative cinema, not this sort of loops content.