Mr. Fitzhugh: Shouldn't we be avoiding law enforcement? I never saw an episode of Matlock where the criminal banged Matlock!
Josh Kovacs: He's been arrested a bunch of times. He pays no income taxes. He's got 2 Doberman Pinschers. So let's show him some respect, OK?
Josh Kovacs: To get in the building, we have to avoid seven exterior cameras and six doormen who work at two entrance points in rotating shifts. Once inside, we'll be faced with four security officers who monitor a bank of twelve internal cameras, as well as two security guards who vary the patrol route each day. If we make it through all that, we still have to get through this gauntlet of employees to get to the elevators. Questions?
Slide: Yeah! Who that girl in the red dress? She got the kind of titties I like to play with.
Cole Howard: That's Mary-Ann from sales; she's a lesbian.
Josh Kovacs: Okay, that's irrelevant.
Mr. Fitzhugh: Mary-Ann is a lesbian? She was married when she sold me my unit.
Cole Howard: She makes lesbian sex with Lynn Rutherford from accounting.
Josh Kovacs: Okay.
Cole Howard: Lynn is a lesbian?
Rick Malloy: Wait, I'm lost. How many lesbians total do we have to avoid?
Josh Kovacs: None; we're not avoiding lesbians.
Slide: I don't avoid lesbians at all; I seek lesbians out. Lesbians got the nicest titties. Straight women, they have guys pulling and yanking on them and sweating on them. Lesbians get touch delicately by other lesbians; It's nice.
Josh Kovacs: Did anyone just take in what I just said?
Cole Howard: Well, it seems like there's a gauntlet of lesbians.
Josh Kovacs: No. The... Alright, I'm just gonna keep going.
Radio Host: You know, not many of you kill your own Thanksgiving turkey, but you might want to consider it...
Slide: How come you bailed me out? Man, I don't even know your name!
Josh Kovacs: You don't remember Mrs Schaltzberg? We used to get dropped at her house every day for daycare! Heavy-set German woman, short goatee.
Slide: You the little seizure boy that's having seizures all the time!
Josh Kovacs: Asthma doesn't cause seizures!
Mr. Fitzhugh: Mr Fitzhugh- If you need me, I'll be living in this box.
Slide: A robbery can change very quickly. You have to be ready to adapt to the situation at any moment. Anything can happen. I was on a job a few days ago and my homie got shot in the face!
Josh Kovacs: If you get shot in the face, it's over.
Slide: If you get shot in your HEAD, it's over. If you get shot in your FACE, the bullet will go through your cheek and come out the other side! Then, what you gonna do?
Cole Howard: Die! We're all gonna die!
Cole Howard: If anybody needs me, I'll be living in this box...
[at a posh restaurant]
Slide: We can order whatever we like, lunch is on me...
[holds up a bag with a cockroach in it]
Slide: I will blow your face CLEAN OFF your face!
Special Agent Dansk: [stops Odessa at the entrance to Mr. Shaw's apartment] Sorry, no cleaning now.
Odessa Montero: It's okay. I'll come back. Do you want some cake?
[picks up the drug-laced slice of birthday cake off her cleaning cart]
Odessa Montero: We're celebrating a birthday downstairs.
Special Agent Dansk: No, thank you.
[goes back to his newspaper]
Odessa Montero: It's amazing cake. Are you sure?
Special Agent Dansk: I'm allergic to chocolate. I break out in hives. I can't touch it.
[Odessa smiles then turns away as her smile turns into a frown. She puts the cake back on her cart and walks behind it]
Odessa Montero: BUMBACLOT!
[rams her cart into Dansk, knocking him out. He falls out of his chair and onto the floor]
Odessa Montero: You should've tried the cake, man.
Special Agent Claire Denham: You got Steve McQueen's car parked in your living room? and here I thought you were an asshole.
Josh Kovacs: We go on Snoopy.