[chasing after Venom who's captured Silver Sable]
Spider-Man: Crazy silver hottie threaten my family. I should let Eddie eat her. He'd be doing me a favor. But then I'd then feel guilty about that because, clearly, I don't have enough things to feel guilty about. So now, here I am. Trying to save the crazy woman. If my life were any more stupid, it would be on network TV.
Peter Parker: I need it.
Mary Jane: It's not done.
Peter Parker: Give it back.
Mary Jane: It's *really* not done.
Peter Parker: I can't go swinging around in my nerd clothes.
Mary Jane: I just have to finish stitching up a hole in the butt and then I'll give it back to you.
Peter Parker: I can explain the hole in the butt by the way.
Mary Jane: Please don't.
[after being thrown through a roof by the Goblin]
Spider-Man: I have just officially run out of ways to say, "Ow."
Spider-Man: I am gonna smack the green right off you!
[repeated line as he falls into the river]
Spider-Man: Glub. Did I just say glub?
Venom: I know how to control the suit now... Isn't that what you wanted?
Spider-Man: Is that a horn on your head, or are you happy to... Oh my God, I am so scared I can't finish my lame joke.
Venom: Our fathers died to create me. And now, you will too.
Beetle: [only line to Venom] I need a sample.
Johnny Storm: [racing Spider-Man across Queens] Madame Web is faster then you, and I don't even get the reference.
Wolverine: [fighting Venom] I'm the best at what I do, and what I do ain't pretty at all. See these claws? Unbreakable. You? Bet not.
[racing the Human Torch]
Spider-Man: Moon Knight is faster than you!
[racing the Human Torch]
Spider-Man: Speedball is faster than you!
Spider-Man: [When racing Johnny Storm] An actual matchstick is faster than you!
Spider-Man: [sing-song voice] The fist bone's connected to the - face bone!
Spider-Man: You're great, but not Hulk great.
Civilian: [after seeing Spider-Man chasing the Beetle] Whoa, Spider-Man's chasing Iron Man!
Spider-Man: [Punching the Green Goblin] Maybe this will knock the crazy out of you.
Eddie Brock, Jr.: Mr. Trask. I have been looking forward to this.
Bolivar Trask: Eddie? I can't believe...
Eddie Brock, Jr.: ya'know what I can't believe? I can't believe that after all the things you did, all the things you made me do... after all of that, all you got was 3 years in a golf course prison.
Bolivar Trask: You can't do anything to me in here! t-the guards!
Venom: They aren't nearly well armed enough.
Electro: I thought this was a chase, not a freaking walk in the park.
Spider-Man: [When fighting the Green Goblin, referring to his fireballs] Only YOU can prevent Spidey-man fires!
Beetle: [after Spider-Man chases him through New York] You are very irritating.
Spider-Man: Hot tamale!
Silver Sable: [At the start of Venom's boss fight with Sable] I'm Glad you're loose, Brock. I can kick your ass good and proper now!