[chasing after Venom who's captured Silver Sable]

Spider-Man: Crazy silver hottie threaten my family. I should let Eddie eat her. He'd be doing me a favor. But then I'd then feel guilty about that because, clearly, I don't have enough things to feel guilty about. So now, here I am. Trying to save the crazy woman. If my life were any more stupid, it would be on network TV.

Peter Parker: I need it.

Mary Jane: It's not done.

Peter Parker: Give it back.

Mary Jane: It's *really* not done.

Peter Parker: I can't go swinging around in my nerd clothes.

Mary Jane: I just have to finish stitching up a hole in the butt and then I'll give it back to you.

Peter Parker: I can explain the hole in the butt by the way.

Mary Jane: Please don't.

Peter Parker: [saving people from falling off a bridge, Silver Sable helps] Hey, weren't you trying to kill me just a minute ago?

Silver Sable: I was hired to capture you, not harm innocent civilians.

Peter Parker: Aw, your a crazy lady with a heart of gold.

[after being thrown through a roof by the Goblin]

Spider-Man: I have just officially run out of ways to say, "Ow."

Spider-Man: I am gonna smack the green right off you!

Green Goblin: Let's finish this!

Spider-Man: I agree! What is this, again?

[first lines]

Peter Parker: [narrating] This is how it all began. Which of course, leads to a sense like this. A few months ago, I reunited with my childhood friend, Eddie Brock.

[from flashback]

Peter Parker: What is that?

Eddie Brock, Jr.: It's... our inheritance.

[repeated line as he falls into the river]

Spider-Man: Glub. Did I just say glub?

[after defeating Rhino, Alex O'Hirn ejects from the robotic rhinoceros]

Alex O'Hirn: Back away from me, masked avenger. My diminuitive corpus will not with-stand your contumelious deficient.

Spider-Man: Not with the big words again.

Mary Jane: What's wrong?

Spider-Man: It's Eddie, he's still out there. And I don't know if I'm scared of him or for him.

Mary Jane: But he's not here.

Spider-Man: No.

Mary Jane: I'm here.

[He puts his arm around her]

Spider-Man: [to Rino] Hey you! Is that a rhinoceros horn or are you just happy to see...

[Rhino turns around and he's 8 feet taller than Spidey]

Spider-Man: I am so scared right now I can't even finish my lame joke.

Venom: I know how to control the suit now... Isn't that what you wanted?

[to Rhino]

Spider-Man: Is that a horn on your head, or are you happy to... Oh my God, I am so scared I can't finish my lame joke.

Venom: Our fathers died to create me. And now, you will too.

Beetle: [only line to Venom] I need a sample.

Johnny Storm: [racing Spider-Man across Queens] Madame Web is faster then you, and I don't even get the reference.

Wolverine: [fighting Venom] I'm the best at what I do, and what I do ain't pretty at all. See these claws? Unbreakable. You? Bet not.

[racing the Human Torch]

Spider-Man: Moon Knight is faster than you!

[racing the Human Torch]

Spider-Man: Speedball is faster than you!

Spider-Man: [When racing Johnny Storm] An actual matchstick is faster than you!

Spider-Man: [to Johnny Storm] I am here to win back the honor of my family name.

Johnny Storm: What?

Spider-Man: I was watching "Fist of Legend" last night.

Spider-Man: [sing-song voice] The fist bone's connected to the - face bone!

Johnny Storm: Alright,this is the last time we're doing this.

Spider-Man: Bring it.

Johnny Storm: You got enough web fluid for a lap around the entire island?

Spider-Man: Got enough lighter fluid?

Johnny Storm: Wow, that was a lame comeback.

Spider-Man: It's the altitude.

Spider-Man: You're great, but not Hulk great.

Civilian: [after seeing Spider-Man chasing the Beetle] Whoa, Spider-Man's chasing Iron Man!

Spider-Man: [Punching the Green Goblin] Maybe this will knock the crazy out of you.

Eddie Brock, Jr.: Mr. Trask. I have been looking forward to this.

Bolivar Trask: Eddie? I can't believe...

Eddie Brock, Jr.: ya'know what I can't believe? I can't believe that after all the things you did, all the things you made me do... after all of that, all you got was 3 years in a golf course prison.

Bolivar Trask: You can't do anything to me in here! t-the guards!

Venom: They aren't nearly well armed enough.

Electro: I thought this was a chase, not a freaking walk in the park.

Spider-Man: [When fighting the Green Goblin, referring to his fireballs] Only YOU can prevent Spidey-man fires!

Beetle: [after Spider-Man chases him through New York] You are very irritating.

Spider-Man: Hot tamale!

[after Venom trashes the bar, Wolverine walks in]

Wolverine: Nice mess.

Venom: Hunger! Feed!

Wolverine: [pops out his claws] You don't say.

Silver Sable: [At the start of Venom's boss fight with Sable] I'm Glad you're loose, Brock. I can kick your ass good and proper now!