Eli Michaelson: If anyone in this room ever doubted my intellectual superiority, or your get fortune to be under my incomparable tutelage, you can now formally kiss my fine white ass.
Eli Michaelson: [to student] I'm free tonight. And you?
City Hall: Crazy's just a choice, Barkley.
Sarah Michaelson: I leave you with a question. A northern California dairy farmer murders 3 young girls, performs sexual acts with their dead bodies, then eat portions of their fleshy thighs - is the dairy farmer crazy?
Class Members: [all nod yes]
Sarah Michaelson: And let me give you a hint, this is not a question that can be answered with a yes, or a no, or a fuck yeah.
Harvey Parrish: I'm a scientist too, and my empirical observations tell me that someone's going to shoot you long before I ever fire you.
City Hall: Tomorrow I'm off to claim my Nobel Prize. Joining me will be my wife, Sarah, who I am certain has only been able to put up with my manias and eccentricities all these years because her definition of crazy is so narrow.
Barkley Michaelson: [first time trying to talk her] I wish I could offer to buy you a hamburger or something, but I don't have any money at all.
City Hall: I'm a vegetarian.
Barkley Michaelson: That's uh, that's a good thing, especially since if I ever have to eat you. Because vegetarians taste better than carrion eaters.
Barkley Michaelson: It isn't evil to eat the dead. It's recycling. True evil is to eat a man alive.
Barkley Michaelson: The French essayist, Michel de Montaigne, once said, "I think there is more barbarity in eating a man alive than in eating him dead." The wisdom of it. When you were a kid with an open soul, they told the world consists of good guys and bad guys. I always liked the bad guys. Scar Face over Superman.