Postal (2007)
Rick Hoffman: Mr. Blither
Quotes
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Blither : [Dude has just seen the decapitated heads on some spikes] I see you noticed the heads. Motivational. Those are every fucking bastard I had to climb over to get this job.
Dude : [Shocked] Jesus...
Blither : [laughs] Foul. They're paper mache. Heh-
[to Recorder]
Blither : He thought they were real.
[chuckles; then, to Dude]
Blither : Sit down.
[Dude sits down as he notices one of the 'fake heads' bleeding]
Blither : Let's get started. Now, I hope you don't mind the recording. We're gonna use it as training later.
[Dude is struggling to sit straight on a seemingly broken chair as Blither is telling him this]
Blither : What the fuck is wrong with you?
Dude : Uh, it's, uh, the chair is...
Blither : [Interrupting] Alright, we're on a time clock. So let's get started, alright?
Dude : Alright. Well... so, uh, I'm here for the job, sir.
Blither : [looking through Dude's resume] Right, you're a factory worker.
Dude : I WAS a factory worker, but the factory got closed down. So, I got laid off.
Blither : I have interviewed fifteen other people for this job. What makes you think you're better than them?
Dude : Well, I don't know if I am better than them...
Blither : Well, god damn it, pal! If you want this job, you better reach out and grab it! You better put those fucking heads on the wall!
[pause]
Blither : You know what? Fuck it, let's go to questions.
Recorder : What is your greatest strength?
Dude : Uh... I'm a really good team player.
Recorder : Wrong.
[Types for a while]
Recorder : What is your greatest weakness?
Dude : Uh, I'd say I work too hard.
[chuckles]
Recorder : Wrong.
[Types again]
Recorder : How would you move a mountain using only a spoon?
Dude : A spoon?
Recorder : If you were in a box, how would you think outside it?
[Dude starts to think of an answer]
Recorder : Wrong.
[Types again]
Recorder : Last question: What is the difference between a duck?
Dude : [Long awkward pause] And...
[Another pause; Dude is waiting for more to the question, but nothing. Then, Dude stands up in frustration]
Dude : What the hell is wrong with you people? A wha- a duck? I don- I came here for a job! A JOB! As far as I know, that job has nothing to do with a cocksucking, motherfucking DUCK!
Blither : [after a long pause] Congratulations, pal. You're our leading candidate. How does it feel?
Dude : [Surprised] It feels good?
Blither : No, no, no. How does it feel, huh? How does it feel? I mean, how does it feel to put fucking fifteen heads on that wall? I'll tell you how it feels! It feels fucking great, doesn't it? It feels fucking great.
[Starts making pelvic thrusts]
Dude : [Excited] So, I got it! I got the job!
Blither : Oh, hell no. No, no, no, this is just a getting-to-know-you interview. We still have some more, uh, one hundred and twenty? Yeah, some more candidates, but hell of a start, though.
