Roy: [repeated throughout the series]

[answering the phone]

Roy: Hello, IT. Have you tried turning it off and on again?

Roy: [singing] We don't need no education.

Moss: Yes you do; you've just used a double negative

Moss: [after a musical TV ad] Well that's easy to remember! 0118 999 881 999 119 725... 3

[Trying to put out a fire and having just set fire to the extinguisher]

Moss: I'll just put it here with the rest of the fire.

Moss: Ah, well. Prepare to put mustard on those words, for you will soon be consuming them along with this slice of humble pie that comes direct from the oven of shame, set at gas mark egg on your face.


Moss: I sort of forget what I was talking about.

Roy: I'm not turning it up to eight Moss! It'll blow my cock off !

Douglas: How the hell do you two guys work with a finger lickin' piece of chicken like that?