A short murder mystery set in New York's costly Hampton resort community, "If I Didn't Care" (AKA "Blue Blood") has little to say, but fortunately isn't long-winded about it. Notable for one thing -- the much-admired actor Roy Scheider makes his last film appearance here -- the movie is the equivalent of an animated PowerPoint real estate presentation. Fairly rich if not famous New Yorkers spend a lot of time pouring drinks for each other in attractive settings, but nothing much really happens, despite a couple of murders, which have all the impact of a discarded paper plate washed up by the tide. There's a certain amount of bloodshed, and a local cop does some snooping, but it's all so pointless and desultory. The film-making Cummings brothers certainly are nothing like the Coen brothers. These guys have absolutely nothing to say, but happily take very little of your time in doing so. Without the tourists, even the prettiest summer resort can be as cheerless and empty as an abandoned amusement park.
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MBunge25 August 2011Blue Blood is proof that a movie needs something more than structure. At just about an hour and 15 minutes long, this plot is as well put together as an antique watch. It's carefully constructed scenes build off one another, with dialog that effortlessly caries more than one meaning. All that work, however, plays out as mere artifice because this film is like a science class skeleton with no skin or muscle to hide the bones.
Davis (Bill Sage) is a house husband to his more successful wife Janice (Noelle Beck). They're rich enough to have a decent sized home in the Hamptons, even though Janice oddly takes the bus to into New York City for work. Maybe that's a common occurrence, but it looks weird to a non-New Yorker. While Janice is bringing home the bacon, Davis is fumbling around with plans to develop an industrial park. He's also fumbling around in the sack with a realtor named Hadley (Susan Misner). They both want money and Davis also wants a child that Janice won't give him so, of course, murder is the first thing that comes to their minds.
The plan is for Hadley to kill Susan while Davis has an alibi. That murder attempt goes wrong, in a genuinely surprising twist, and puts a local detective named Linus (Roy Scheider) on the scent of Hadley and Davis. The plot takes a few more nicely designed turns and winds down to what should be a satisfying conclusion.
I say "should be" because while this story is well written in terms of moving its characters through their paces, it has a big weakness. You see, Davis, Janice, Hadley and Linus are so lacking in personality and dimension that they might as well be named Generic Mystery Characters 1, 2, and 4. Neither they nor any other role in this screenplay have any definable traits that aren't directly and obviously linked to the needs of the plot. These aren't real people. They're the finger puppets being waved about by filmmakers Ben and Orson Cummings. No matter how well constructed a mystery/thriller might be, the bones of the script have to be animated by characters the audience identifies with and cares about. If you can't respond to Davis or Janice or Hadley or Linus as living things instead of inert pawns, even the most intricate and brilliant storytelling is dead and cold.
And since it's only about 75 minutes long, I don't understand why this otherwise smart script did so little with its characters. Spending an extra 15 minutes or so giving them some inner life, so the viewer can believe they have an existence outside the demands of the plot, would have made this a much more entertaining motion picture. If that sort of thing, for some reason, was beyond the talents of the Cummings, then at least they could have thrown in some graphic nudity. Violence can be expensive to pull off on screen, but getting actors who will take their clothes off is usually much cheaper. There are no sex scenes in Blue Blood, although 3 or 4 could have been easily inserted into the story. That would have given it a little sizzle and prevented it from feeling like such a dusty, academic exercise.
Making it a double shame is that this movie looks really good. The framing of the imagery and the staging of scenes are a cut above, but the interesting visuals can't overcome the uninteresting people at their center.
Blue Blood is one of the better misfires I've seen. It's good enough that it leaves you feeling disappointed it isn't better, rather than annoyed at wasting your time with it. If Ben and Orson Cummings ever find a way to put some flesh on a cinematic carcass, I'll be interesting in watching that film.