30 Rock (2006–2013)

Alec Baldwin: Jack Donaghy, Charles Nelson Reilly (West Coast only), Chet Huntley, Delivery Man, Harriet Tubman, Hector Moreda, Joey Montero, Larry, Leslie van Vondervant, Richard Nixon, Richard Nixon (East Coast only), Thomas Jefferson

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Liz Lemon : Why are you wearing a tux?

  Jack : It's after 6 o'clock Lemon. What am I, a farmer?

• Jack : All of my summer replacement shows were big hits: "America's Next Top Pirate", "Are You Stronger Than a Dog?", "MILF Island"...

  Liz Lemon : "MILF Island"?

  Jack : Twenty-five super-hot moms, 50 eighth-grade boys, no rules.

  Liz Lemon : Oh yeah, didn't one of those women turn out to be a prostitute?

  Jack : That doesn't mean she's not a wonderful, caring MILF.

• Jack : Look how Greenzo's testing! They love him in every demographic: colored people, broads, fairies, commies. Gosh, we gotta update these forms.

• Jack : Lemon, I'm impressed. You're beginning to think like a businessman.

  Liz Lemon : A businesswoman.

  Jack : I don't think that's a word.

• Jack : We are lovers.

  Liz Lemon : That word bums me out unless it's between the words "meat" and "pizza".

• [repeated line] 

  Jack : Good God Lemon!

• Jack : Never go with a hippie to a second location.

• Jack : Have you ever considered becoming the celebrity face of the Republican Party?

  Tracy Jordan : What? Hell no! Black people supporting Republicans? Does hot support cold? Does rain support the Earth?

  Jack : Now, that mis-perception is precisely why the GOP needs better celebrities. And a black celebrity, such as yourself, would really make us look good. Now, do you like lower taxes?

  Tracy Jordan : If I paid taxes, I sure would.

  Jack : How about gun ownership?

  Tracy Jordan : Go on.

  Jack : States' rights?

  Tracy Jordan : I love states' rights!

  Jack : And, let none of us forget that the GOP is the party of Lincoln.

  Tracy Jordan : Lincoln was a Republican?

  Dot Com : Actually, today's Republican Party would be unrecognizable to Lincoln. He fought a war to preserve federal authority over the states. That's not exactly small government.

  Jack : Dot Com, this need you have to be the smartest guy in the room is... off-putting.

  Dot Com : I guess that's why I'm still single.

• Jack : Factories provide three things this country desperately needs: jobs, pride, and material for Bruce Springsteen songs.

• Jack : Lemon, I would like to teach you something. I would like to be Michelle Pfeiffer to your angry black kid who learns that poetry is just another way to rap

• Jack : I'm not a creative type like you, with your work sneakers and left-handedness.

• Jack : Let's do it. Let's move here. We'll get a little cabin in the woods.

  Celeste Cunningham : I'll plant heirloom tomatoes, we'll ride our bikes into town.

  Jack : I'll grow a beard. People from my old life will pass us through town and won't even recognize me, they'll just say, "Thanks, Pap," and then they'll buy some of my cider.

  [Jack's cell phone rings] 

  Celeste Cunningham : Ugh, the real world calling.

  [Jack throws his cell phone into the pond] 

  Celeste Cunningham : Oh, my god!

  [C.C. throws her cell phone too] 

  Jack : [shouts]  I'M IN LOOOOVE!

  Coal Miner : God, I wish this town weren't halfway between DC and New York.

• Jack : I like you. You have the boldness of a much younger woman.

• Liz Lemon : I know who I am. I know I'm not the funnest person in the group. I'm not the one you call when you want to go clubbing on the town and party dance all night.

  Jack : Why are you speaking like a Persian immigrant?