Taylor: What's more sexy than a man and his ironing board? Those perfectly pressed cuffs? Starch makes me horny. Mmm.

Whitney: Are you a dirty little slut that needs dry cleaning?

Whitney: Little early to be drinking, isn't it?

Aldo: It's five o'clock SOMEWHERE in the world.

Whitney: Yeah, but it's two o'clock here.

Aldo: And how are the coupons, Mrs. Brady?

Whitney: I already saved us ten bucks.

Aldo: You are gonna make a great wife someday.

Whitney: Is that a proposal, big guy?

Taylor: Oh, no way. Aldo loves variety. He could never settle for just one guy.

Taylor: Just tell Whit I want to be left alone. I need a little Taylor time.

Aldo: How about a goodbye rub?

Aldo: I will never be irrelevant in our life. I could call your parents right now and rock their holy world.

Whitney: Well, you know what? I'm just trying to distract myself while I give Taylor some space.

Aldo: Then knit me a sweater, homo.

Linda: Put your hands on my ass.

Whitney: But you're my boss.

Linda: Then do as you're told.

Taylor: Booty call.

Tara: Don't YOU know how to make a girl feel special!

Taylor's Father: Let's go upstairs and wash the sins of the city from your skin.

Linda: I told the girls at lunch today that we had one drink and the night ended. If I hear alternate stories floating around, you'll be fired.

Taylor: How are the tampons, Whit?

Whitney: Why? You need one?

Taylor: Do your shoes match your bag?

Whitney: You're a lot more fun when you're not threatening me.

Whitney: No, no, I'm, uh, done chasing shadows; I'm here to lose my marbles.

Linda: Want bliss? Buy a candy bar.