Jill Munroe: Charlie, are you in pain?

Charles Townsend: [on speakerphone] It's my sacro- oh...

Kelly Garrett: Pardon?

Charles Townsend: -iliac, lower lambego. Very stiff.

Jill Munroe: Oh, that's too bad, Charlie. Just how did you hurt your back?

Charles Townsend: The crushing weight of responsibility, angel. But I think it will just be a matter of some deft manipulation before I'll be standing as erect as ever.

[cut to Charlie being massaged by a bikini clad woman standing on his back]

Jerry Adams: [Sabrina has just completed a series of race laps] Way to smoke, lady!

Sabrina Duncan: Yeah... rumor has it that smoking can be hazardous to your health.

Jill Munroe: Something for the Lord?

Ted Kale: And what denomination are you, little lady?

Jill Munroe: 35-24-35, brother.

Eddie Dirko: You know they say a man should never be drinking by himself. Causes alcoholism.

Kelly Garrett: Oh?

Eddie Dirko: Now you can levitate that by, eh, joining me at a place called the Pitt-stop bar, you ever been there?

Kelly Garrett: Never, never...

Police officer: Have you been drinking, ma'm?

Kelly Garrett: Not a drop, officer. Clear eye, breath is fresh, kissing sweet!

[blows him a kiss]