Breshnik: [the eccentric landlord exits with a final declaration of his belief that people should wear leaves instead of clothes ] Someday all bodies will be in leaves!

John Bosley: [Turning to Jill] Y'know, actually it's not such a bad idea, though. If we had our shirts made out of tobacco leaves, when we got tired of them we could smoke 'em!

Jill Munroe: I think you already have, Bosley.

Kelly Garrett: [In the breakroom at the Academy, Kelly turns to a couple fellow cadets] Say, could you give a girl some change?

Barton: Sure thing, sure

[comes over and slips a coin into the machine]

Barton: . What would you like?

Kelly Garrett: I usually buy my own.

Barton: Well, now I'm buying. That's the change!

Capt. Rogers: I see you're all moved in.

Sabrina Duncan: Well, yeah, I got my nameplate, I got my badge, eh, just point me to the bad guys.

Capt. Rogers: Heh. Well, we're hoping you could point us. We keep missing them.

Lt. Howard Fine: [about Bill Mather] I remember he told me once, years ago: 'You walk in the gutter long enough, you're gonna get some on ya.'

Sabrina Duncan: I'll try to step lightly.

Lt. Howard Fine: We got a tip this morning that a massage parlour called 'Tellies' opened up last week, and they might be bringing in a few hookers.

Sabrina Duncan: Shall we take a look?

Lt. Howard Fine: Well, eh, if you could wander in there, convince them you were a lady of the night...


Sabrina Duncan: [laughs] Alright, ehm... I'll need to wear something that's a little more conspicuous.

Lt. Howard Fine: [snaps his fingers] Well there's a terrific number in wardrobe. Blue fringed pantsuit. You'll love it.

Sabrina Duncan: Blue fringe?

Brenda: Want some Taco?

Kelly Garrett: Thanks, might ruin my trip to Tijuana.

John Bosley: Ah, our new landlord.

[gets up]

John Bosley: Well, how nice to meet you.

[reaches out to shake hands]

Breshnik: Not to touch Breshnik!

Jill Munroe: You never touch?

Breshnik: Breshnik bought this to be Temple Breshnik. Now, it's filled with pagans.

Jill Munroe: Oh, you're a man of the cloth.

Breshnik: Not cloth, leaves!

Breshnik: This was Breshnik's dream: all bodies should wrap themselves in leaves. That is how it was in the beginning. In the beginning, who had clothes? Nobody. Heh. So what did they wear?

Jill Munroe: Let me guess: leaves.

Breshnik: Actually, at first, tigerskins. But where are the tigers today? Nowhere!

Jill Munroe: Oh, so now you're back to leaves.

Breshnik: You laugh at Breshnik?

Jill Munroe: Oh no, not... so far.

Barton: [on phone] Well, what do you want?

Lt. Howard Fine: [in phonebooth] What I want is the days to go smooth as oil. I want the children to smile and the fools to keep dancing.

Man: [being led upstairs for a massage] I can't do much without my glasses.

Jill Munroe: Ah, pitty.

Man: She really gave me a massage.

John Bosley: Oh, you were expecting violins? That'll be twenty dollars.

[two other customers get up and leave]

Man: Actually, you have wonderful fingers.

Jill Munroe: Ah, these old things? I've had them with me for years.

Bill Duncan: [holding up Sabrina's nameplate] This S. Duncan, that couldn't be Sabrina?

Lt. Howard Fine: Yeah, it would.

Bill Duncan: You're kidding.

Lt. Howard Fine: No, she a relative?

Bill Duncan: Eh, close. Ex-wife.

Sabrina Duncan: You mind telling me where we're going?

Lt. Howard Fine: That's a good question. When you're halfway between yesterday's dreams and tomorrow's nightmares. Where the hell are you?

Sabrina Duncan: You read that somewhere, right?

Sabrina Duncan: Yeah. I wish I'd said it.

Sabrina Duncan: Well, you just did.

Lt. Howard Fine: Yeah, I did, didn't I?

Sabrina Duncan: [Fine is pointing a gun at Sabrina] Gee coach, something I said?

Lt. Howard Fine: I liked all your moves, kid. Really. I just been ziggin' and zaggin' in the gutters so long that...

Sabrina Duncan: You got some on ya, huh?

Lt. Howard Fine: Would you believe me if I said I was sorry?

Sabrina Duncan: Sure... you're the coach.

Lt. Howard Fine: You're not gonna make it easy, are ya?

Sabrina Duncan: Not by a damn sight.