Phillip Banks: [when Uncle Phil introduces Will to a group of lawyers] Will, this is Firth, Wynn, and Meyer.

Will: Yo, Earth, Wind, and Fire. When's your next record coming out?

Vivian: Sweety, would you say grace, please?

Ashley: Yes, Mommy.

[begins rapping the blessing]

Ashley: Hey there, Lord, my name is Ashley Banks / My family and friends want to give you some thanks / So before this dinner's all swallowed and chewed, / Thank you, God, for this stupid food.

Ashley Banks: I'm really glad that you're living here, Will.

Will: Oh, thanks, Ash.

Ashley Banks: You're like the big brother I never had.

Will: Oh, wait, what are you talking about? You got Carl... you're right. I see your point.

Will: I'm a joker. I play around. I have fun.

Phillip Banks: Mm-hmm. Being a joker's what's gotten you into trouble. You may think it's cool to be on the streets when you're 17, but when you're my age, it's a waste.

Will: I-I can't think that far ahead.

Phillip Banks: That's your problem. You can't take anything seriously.

Will: Hey look, man, I don't have the problem, all right. YOU have the problem. I remind you of who you are and what you used to be. Now I don't know, somewhere between Princeton and the office, you got soft. You forgot who you are and where you came from.

Phillip Banks: You think you're so wise.

[Will looks away from Phillip]

Phillip Banks: Look at me when I'm talking to you. Let me tell you something, son. I grew up on the streets just like you. I encountered bigotry you could not imagine. Now you have a nice poster of Malcolm X on your wall. I heard the brother speak. I read every word he wrote. Believe me, I KNOW where I come from!

Will: You actually heard Malcolm speak?

Phillip Banks: That's right. So before you criticize someone, you find out what he's all about.

Will: [about the house] Yo, this is better than Love Boat! This boy gonna be maxing and relaxing.

Vivian Banks: Will, we promised your mother you were here to work hard, straighten out, and learn some good old fashion American values.

Hilary Banks: [walks in] Daddy, I need $300. Hilary, your cousin Will is here.

Vivian Banks: Hilary, your cousin Will is here.

Hilary Banks: [to Will] Hi, Will.

[turns to Uncle Phil]

Hilary Banks: Daddy, I need $300.

Phillip Banks: That's a lot of money,

Hilary Banks: I need a new hat.

Phillip Banks: For what?

Will: Probably her head.

Hilary Banks: Ok, I'm going on this Save The Ozone Layer Celebrity Bus next Saturday. We're going to take the bus all over town to protest air pollution, and then we're going to motor to the beach and have a big bonfire.

[Will raises his hand to try and talk]

Hilary Banks: What?

Will: I'm not an expert or anything but don't you think that driving a big old bus around town and then having a bonfire sort of adding to the pollution problem?

Vivian Banks: Did you enjoy the trip?

Will: Oh, yo, the plane ride was stupid! I was looking for first class...

Phillip Banks: Excuse me?

Will: No, I was sayin' the plane was dope! So, I was looking for...

Phillip Banks: Excuse me?

Will: No. Stupid, dope. Oh. No, that doesn't mean what you... um, how would he say it? Oh, the flight was really neat, yeah.

Phillip Banks: [to Will] You deliberately tried to embarrass me tonight and I don't get it. Your aunt and I went through a lot of trouble to bring you out here and this is the thanks we get?

Will: I ain't asked to come out here. Everyone's talking about shippin' me off, dressin' me up, and changing me into something that I don't want to be.

Phillip Banks: Nobody wants to change you.

Will: You told me yourself I gotta straighten out, and when in doubt, act as Carlton. I don't want to be like Carlton.

Will: I remind you of where you came from and what you used to be. Now I don't know somewhere between Princeton and the office, you got soft. You forgot who you are and where you came from.

Phillip Banks: You think you're so wise.

[Will looks away from Uncle Phil]

Phillip Banks: Look at me when I'm talking to you. Let me tell you something, son. I grew up on the streets just like you. I encountered bigotry you could not imagine. Now you have a nice poster of Malcolm X on your wall. I heard the brother speak, I read every word he wrote. Believe me, I know where I come from.

Will: You actually heard Malcolm speak?

Phillip Banks: That's right. So before you criticize somebody, you find out what he's all about.

Phillip Banks: You certainly have grown, Will.

Will: [petting Philip's belly] We all have!

Phillip Banks: [about Will] Did you see the way he was dressed?

Vivian Banks: What's wrong with it?

Phillip Banks: You hear that language?

Vivian Banks: We used slang when we were kids! Do you remember our first date? You took one look at me and said, "That is a *bad* dress!" You could've just said it was a good dress.

Phillip Banks: I could have, if I liked it. Actually, it *was* a *bad* dress!

Carlton Banks: Wait 'till we come downstairs in these tuxes. People may not think we're twins, but I'll bet they'll think we're brothers.

Will: You know, I don't think you'll have to worry about anybody mistaking you for a brother.

Phillip Banks: I want to talk to you.

Will: What about?

Phillip Banks: You know, from the minute you walked through that door, you've been a one-man wrecking crew, trying to tear down what's taken a lot of hard work to build up, skewering everything with your flippant shenanigans!

Will: I was with you up until "skewering."

Will: [when Will first arrives at the Banks' house] Hey, Uncle Phil!

[hugs Geoffrey]

Geoffrey: I am not your Uncle Philip.

Geoffrey: [referring on what to call Will] What would you prefer?

Will: Check this. His Royal Freshness. That's dope!

Will: I'm a joker. I play around. I have fun.

Phillip Banks: Um-hum. Being a joker is what's gotten you into trouble. Well, you may think it's cool to be on the streets when you're seventeen, but when you're my age, it's a waste.

Will: Man, I can't think that far ahead.

Vivian Banks: Will is going to attend Bel-Air Academy with Carlton.

Henry Furth: Ah, good for you, Will. I use to fence in Bel-Air.

Will Smith: Really? How much do you think we can get for that stereo?

Hilary Banks: [Will is playing a rap song by clanging his silverware on his glass] Will! There are other people at this table.

Will Smith: Oh, right... any requests?