Courteney Cox credited as playing...
Monica Geller
- Phoebe: [positions her Christmas arrangement to cover the stain on her dress as Monica runs into the room and over to the answering machine] Ross went to get a cab so we can all..
- [Monica starts dialling]
- Phoebe: [looks up] What are you doing? No Monica! No!
- [phone calls Richard's number and his recorded message answers]
- Dr. Richard Burke: [on the answering machine] Hi. This is Richard.
- [Monica enters a code and the recorded message stops]
- Answering Machine: You have 3 new messages.
- Monica Geller: [enters another code as Phoebe sits on the table] Not anymore!
- Answering Machine: Message list.
- [Monica enters another code]
- Answering Machine: To record a new message, begin speaking at the tone.
- Monica Geller: [picks up the phone] Hi Richard, it's Monica um, listen I-I did something kind of crazy tonight um.. maybe I'm getting my period or something I don't know. Anyway uh... I-I beeped into your machine and I heard this message that-that freaked me out and um.. You know what? Michele will tell you the rest. I-I-I-I'm sorry OK? And I hope that we can forget the whole thing. OK, bye.
- [Monica hangs and sighs in relief]
- Answering Machine: The Outgoing message has now been changed.
- Monica Geller: [shocked] Outgoing? Did that say *Outgoing*? Not Outgoing!
- [Monica quickly dials Richard's number and the message she meant to leave for Richard turns out to be the new recorded message on his answering machine]
- Answering Machine: [Monica's voice] Hi Richard, it's Monica um, listen I-I did something kind of crazy tonight um.. maybe I'm getting my period or something...
- [Monica and Phoebe looked shocked at each other]
- Monica Geller: [hastily pressing buttons on the machine] NO!
- Phoebe: How did you do that?
- Monica Geller: [incredulous] I don't know!
- Answering Machine: Goodbye.
- Monica Geller: [screams] NO!
- Ross: [enters the apartment, completely unaware of what's just happened] OK. OK. I've got two cabs and no people. Go! Go! Go!
- Monica Geller: [quiet but frantic] Maybe we can call the Phone Company. Maybe they can change the message. Maybe they can change his number.
- Phoebe: [assuring] Yeah. I think after this, he'll be going that *himself*.
- Chandler: [to Joey] You know what? OK. Fine. Don't get up. You just sit right there. I hope you don't mind you know, my hand... right here!
- [Chandler puts his hand right in front of Joey's face, annoying him]
- Joey: Oh!
- Chandler: [moves his hand back and forth while mocking Joey] Oh, not touching! Can't get mad! Not touching! Can't get mad! Not touching! Can't get mad!
- [Joey gets mad and flicks some of his hummus at Chandler, but it misses and lands on Phoebe's dress]
- Phoebe: [gets up] Oh my god! You rotten boys!
- [the guys back away]
- Chandler, Joey: Sorry Phoebe.
- Joey: I'm so sorry.
- Phoebe: [frantically examines the stain] What am I gonna do?
- Ross: No! No! Don't-don't rub it! Don't! What gets out hummus? What gets out hummus?
- [as he speaks, Ross claps his hands and Monica enters the room]
- Phoebe: [cries] Monica! Monica! You know what gets out hummus?
- Monica Geller: [pauses] If it *is* a new message, what is he calling to say?
- Phoebe: [sarcastically] OK. Thanks. Yeah, I'll try that!
- [after Ross's message, Monica's answering machine beeps twice]
- Dr. Richard Burke: [on the answering machine] Monica, it's Richard. Call me.
- [Monica looks startled and all the friends look at her]
- Monica Geller: [emotionally] I-is, is that message old or new?
- [no one says anything]
- Monica Geller: [shouts] OLD OR NEW? OLD OR NEW?
- Ross: [goes over to Monica as the other friends jump] It's old. It's *definitely* old. Didn't you-you hear the double beep?
- Monica Geller: [frantic] Well, what if it's new? I mean, we agreed not to talk! He could have something really important to say. Shouldn't I call him back?
- Chandler: Honey, you did call him back 'cause it's... it's really old.
- Ross: [comforts Monica] Yeah. See, Mon' listen. Listen. When Carol and I broke up, I went through the same thing and you know what I did?
- Monica Geller: [emotionally] Huh?
- Ross: [assuring] I got dressed.
- [Ross kindly ushers Monica and Rachel into their rooms]
- Rachel: [exits her room carrying a knitted coat with buttons] You guys, does this look like something the girlfriend of a palaeontologist would wear?
- Phoebe: [happily] I don't know. You might be the first one.
- [Ross and Chandler quietly laugh]
- Monica Geller: [points to the answering machine] Rach' did you check the machine?
- Rachel: Uh, no. Wait, you know what? This is the outfit that makes my calves look fat. Never mind.
- [Rachel giggles and goes back into her room with the outfit]