Jesse Cochran: This is the most terrifying shower scene since Psycho!
D.J. Tanner: [to Stephanie] Would you stop worrying? Kindergarten is so easy. The only thing you have to learn is the Pledge of Allegiance.
Stephanie Tanner: The what?
D.J. Tanner , Kimmy Gibbler: [in a fast tone] I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.
Stephanie Tanner: I'm dead meat.
D.J. Tanner: [when Jesse and Joey bring in a messy Michelle] What happened to Michelle?
Jesse Cochran: Well, your sister Michelle tried to eat her dinner by pushing it through her face.
Joey Gladstone: We better give her a bath.
Jesse Cochran: Good idea. Do we know how to do that?
Joey Gladstone: Well, sure. It's just like giving a puppy a bath only there's a lot less tail to clean.
Kimmy Gibbler: [repeated line, to D.J] I love the way your mind works.
Stephanie Tanner: [when Danny comes into the girls' room] Hi, Daddy!
D.J. Tanner: Hi, Dad.
Danny Tanner: Why is everyone awake?
D.J. Tanner: I'll show you.
[gets out of bed and pulls Stephanie's covers off to reveal Stephanie wearing a pink party dress and holding a lunchbox]
Stephanie Tanner: I'm ready for school!
Danny Tanner: Honey, you're ready for the prom.
Stephanie Tanner: [to DJ] You said this would be good.
D.J. Tanner: Hey, if you can't have fun with your little sister, then what's the point of having one?
Danny Tanner: [when DJ tries to cut school] Why are you dropping out of school?
D.J. Tanner: Because they put me in the smart class.
Danny Tanner: The advanced class? DJ, that's wonderful.
D.J. Tanner: Dad, it's Geekville, USA. It's the first day of school and they all brought homework, and get this, I'm the only blonde. And worst of all, they split me and Kimmy up.
D.J. Tanner: [to Danny] Dad, you don't understand. Kimmy and I have always been in the same class. Now I'm stuck in a room full of eggheads. They're worse than eggheads, they're omelette-heads.