Jesse Cochran: This is the most terrifying shower scene since Psycho!

Danny Tanner: Steph, don't you want to go to school and be smart?

Stephanie Tanner: I'll stay home and watch public television.

D.J. Tanner: [to Stephanie] Would you stop worrying? Kindergarten is so easy. The only thing you have to learn is the Pledge of Allegiance.

Stephanie Tanner: The what?

D.J. TannerKimmy Gibbler: [in a fast tone] I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

Stephanie Tanner: I'm dead meat.

D.J. Tanner: [when Jesse and Joey bring in a messy Michelle] What happened to Michelle?

Jesse Cochran: Well, your sister, Michelle tried to eat her dinner by pushing it through her face.

Joey Gladstone: We better give her a bath.

Jesse Cochran: Good idea. Do we know how to do that?

Joey Gladstone: Well, sure. It's just like giving a puppy a bath only there's a lot less tail to clean.

Stephanie Tanner: [when Danny comes into the girls' room] Hi, Daddy!

D.J. Tanner: Hi, Dad.

Danny Tanner: Why is everyone awake?

D.J. Tanner: I'll show you.

[gets out of bed and pulls Stephanie's covers off to reveal Stephanie wearing a pink party dress and holding a lunchbox]

Stephanie Tanner: I'm ready for school!

Danny Tanner: Honey, you're ready for the prom.

Stephanie Tanner: [to DJ] You said this would be good.

D.J. Tanner: Hey, if you can't have fun with your little sister, then what's the point of having one?

Stephanie Tanner: I pledge allegiance to the flag of some states of America.

D.J. Tanner: I'm going to tuck you in... very tight.

Stephanie Tanner: [as DJ picks up Stephanie and tucks her in bed] And to the public which understands... with God... and liberty. I'm dead meat.

Danny Tanner: Stephanie, what do you mean you're not going to school?

Stephanie Tanner: Eh, I don't feel good. Maybe I'll go next year.

Jesse Cochran: You don't look sick.

Stephanie Tanner: [makes a sick face] Is that better?

Kimmy Gibbler: [repeated line, to D.J] I love the way your mind works.

Joey Gladstone: Hey Danny, don't look now but it looks like D.J.'s going over the wall.

Danny Tanner: [looks out the window and sees D.J. climbing the school fence] Oh great, another breakout.

Danny Tanner: [when DJ tries to cut school] Why are you dropping out of school?

D.J. Tanner: Because they put me in the smart class.

Danny Tanner: The advanced class? DJ, that's wonderful.

D.J. Tanner: Dad, it's Geekville, USA. It's the first day of school and they all brought homework, and get this, I'm the only blonde. And worst of all, they split me and Kimmy up.

D.J. Tanner: [to Danny] Dad, you don't understand. Kimmy and I have always been in the same class. Now I'm stuck in a room full of eggheads. They're worse than eggheads, they're omelette-heads.

D.J. Tanner: [to Stephanie] We were in the same class, but I didn't talk to Kimmy for six months.

Stephanie Tanner: Is that because she's an airhead?

D.J. Tanner: She's not an airhead. She just hates thinking.

Stephanie Tanner: [passing by Joey, Jesse and Danny] Daddy, Daddy, Daddy.

Jesse Cochran: [the teacher looks at them confused] What? Elizabeth Taylor's daughter had 7 fathers.