Sean Gunn credited as playing...
Kirk Gleason
- Luke Danes: What can I get you Kirk?
- Kirk Gleason: Patty melt and a coke.
- Luke Danes: You want the melt cut into squares or stars today?
- Kirk Gleason: Half and half.
- Taylor Doose: The bottom line is that too many birds are landing atop the streetlights and relieving themselves on helpless passersby. And I daresay that some of these birds seem to be doing it on purpose.
- Babette Dell: You get dumped on, Taylor?
- Taylor Doose: It's not just me.
- Luke Danes: Hey, if anybody has a picture of Taylor getting dumped on, I'll pay top dollar.
- Kirk Gleason: I'll check the internet.
- Miss Patty: Taylor, all animals have to... you know. How are you gonna stop birds from doing that?
- Taylor Doose: Easy. You put sharp metal spikes on the top of the fixtures. Then when they land, pow! They're shish kebab!
- Rory Gilmore: That's cruel.
- Babette Dell: You can't do that.
- Andrew: I'd rather have bird crap fall on my head.
- Lorelai Gilmore: There it is, our new town slogan.
- Rory Gilmore: I like it.
- Lorelai Gilmore: I see coffee mugs, T-shirts.
- Rory Gilmore: Don't forget the stuffed shish-kebab birds.
- Lorelai Gilmore: That moan when you squeeze them!