- Miss Salimony: Okay, Mikey. I'm going to play and you just sing along.
- Mikey Blumberg: No, I can't sing.
- Miss Salimony: Oh, Mikey, anyone can sing. Singing is the most natural thing in the world. It's like breathing, only for the soul.
- Mikey Blumberg: [mesmerized] Breathing for the soul. Wow.
- Mikey Blumberg: You know, all these years I never thought I was good at anything. But now, thanks to Miss Salimony, I realize I do have a talent.
- Gus Griswald: She must be one great teacher.
- Mikey Blumberg: She is, you guys. She's kind and beautiful and smart. And I love her.
- Gretchen Grundler: [Spinelli does a spit take] Perhaps we were mistaken, Mikey, but we thought you just said you LOVED Miss Salimony.
- Mikey Blumberg: I do. And she loves me too.
- Vince LaSalle: C'mon man, you're only nine.
- Gus Griswald: Yeah, and she's old. REALLY old. She's gotta be at least 24.
- [last lines]
- Mikey Blumberg: Fare thee well, Salimony. I'll not forget thee.
- Miss Salimony: So long, Mikey. See you in middle school.
- Theodore J. 'T.J.' Detweiler: But I don't get it. You sing great. I heard you once in the bathroom.
- Mikey Blumberg: Oh, sure. In the bathroom. Anyone can sing in the bathroom. But when I'm out here in front of people, I'm almost as bad as Spinelli.
- Spinelli: Watch it pal, or you'll be hitting a new octave.
- Mikey Blumberg: Well, I'm still not gonna sing.
- Miss Salimony: You don't have to, Mikey. But I wish you would. Not for Principal Prickly, not for me, but for yourself.