President Josiah Bartlet: We agree on nothing, Max.

Senator Lobell: Yes, sir.

President Josiah Bartlet: Education, guns, drugs, school prayer, gays, defense spending, taxes - you name it, we disagree.

Senator Lobell: You know why?

President Josiah Bartlet: Because I'm a lily-livered, bleeding-heart, liberal, egghead communist.

Senator Lobell: Yes, sir. And I'm a gun-toting, redneck son-of-a-bitch.

President Josiah Bartlet: Yes, you are.

Senator Lobell: We agree on that.

Ambassador Ken Cochran: I think it would be appropriate at this time, Mr. President, to make a confession.

President Josiah Bartlet: What's that?

Ambassador Ken Cochran: I never voted for you.

President Josiah Bartlet: Well, thanks for trying, but here I am, anyway. Gotta go.

Josh Lyman: My watch says ten to seven.

Donna Moss: That's cause your watch sucks.

Josh Lyman: My watch is fine.

Donna Moss: Your watch says ten to seven.

Josh Lyman: How do we know it isn't ten to seven?

Donna Moss: Cause those large clocks on the wall that are run by the US Navy say your watch sucks. In fact they say your watch sucks in four different time zones.

President Josiah Bartlet: Toby, are you in here sticking up for Sam?

Toby Ziegler: I know it's strange, sir. But I'm feeling a... a certain... big brotherly connection right now. You know, obviously, I'd like that feeling to go away as soon as possible, but for the moment I think there's no danger in the White House standing by Sam and aggressively going after the people who set him up.

Ambassador Ken Cochran: I'm sorry to do this, but I'd like to speak to your supervisor.

Charlie Young: Well, I'm personal aide to the President, so my supervisor's a little busy right now looking for a back door to this place to shove you out of. But I'll let him know you'd like to lodge a complaint.

Josh Lyman: C.J. started the briefing already?

Donna Moss: A half-hour ago.

Josh Lyman: The briefing's not supposed to start till 11:00.

Donna Moss: Guess what?

Josh Lyman: My watch sucks?

Donna Moss: Yes, indeed.

Donna Moss: A guy takes his assistant on a quick trip to Maui. It's not, like, unheard of.

President Josiah Bartlet: Let me just tell you that I need a favor.

Ted Mitchell: Oh, of course, sir.

President Josiah Bartlet: I need you to hire a guy.

Ted Mitchell: Who, sir?

President Josiah Bartlet: The former ambassador to Bulgaria.

Ted Mitchell: Who is that, sir?

President Josiah Bartlet: Ken Cochran.

Ted Mitchell: Well, isn't Ken Cochran the current ambassador to Bulgaria?

President Josiah Bartlet: Not for long. Look, he's a good man, a smart man. I think he'd make a very good corporate officer.

Ted Mitchell: Why is he being fired, sir?

President Josiah Bartlet: Gross incompetence. I'll be right back.

Josh Lyman: When I get back, you're gonna argue with me and we're gonna argue about the things I wanna argue about and you're gonna do your best not to annoy me too much.

Joey Lucas: It's almost hard to believe you're not married.

Josh Lyman: Oh ho! Many have tried.

Toby Ziegler: Since when are you an expert on language?

Claudia Jean 'C.J.' Cregg: In polling models?

Toby Ziegler: Okay.

Claudia Jean 'C.J.' Cregg: 1993. Since when are you an uptight pain in the ass?

Toby Ziegler: Since long before that.