Margot at the Wedding (2007)
Jack Black: Malcolm
Photos
Quotes
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Malcolm : My scrotum is longer than my penis.
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Malcolm : Make sure you can handle rejection. I can't.
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Malcolm : I haven't had that thing yet, where you realize that you're not the most important person in the world.
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Margot : He's doing the interview with me in town on Friday. Did I tell you he and I are collaborating on a screenplay? An adaptation of one of Dick's novels.
Pauline : No. I didn't even know you knew he was up here.
Malcolm : [while drawing with Claude and Ingrid] Is he even a good writer? Why do people care about him?
Pauline : You're competitive with everyone. It doesn't even matter if they do the same thing as you. He's competitive with Bono.
Malcolm : It's true. I don't subscribe to the credo that there's enough room for everyone to be successful. I think there are only a few spots available, and people like Dick Koosman and Bono are taking them up.
[continues drawing a picture of a man and woman having sex]
Margot : Malcolm, what would ever make you think that's something to draw right now?
Malcolm : [looks around at what Claude and Ingrid are drawing; crumples up his paper] Sorry. I wasn't thinking about it. Sorry Margot.
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Pauline : What's up?
Malcolm : I don't wanna do this.
Pauline : Come on, don't be that way.
Malcolm : No, I'm not being that way. I just don't feel like it. I'm gonna go back and... I have work to do.
Pauline : Dick doesn't care that you don't make any money.
Malcolm : Is that what you - that's not why. I just hate swimming. I really hate it. It's disgusting to me. My mistake was saying I'd do it to begin with. You have fun.
Pauline : Fine. We'll have fun.
Malcolm : People always pee in the pool.
Pauline : I don't think Dick and Maisy pee in their pool.
Malcolm : I'll bet you 500 dollars there's pee in that pool!
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Malcolm : I have this theory. I think, historically, women have been held back in so many ways that when they get power like they do behind the wheel, they can't help but abuse it. It's akin to Hannah Arendt's Eichmann theory about prison guards and prisoners switching roles.
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Malcolm : Paul apologizes for not coming. She's still getting the house ready.
Margot : I'm sorry it was such short notice.
Malcolm : I don't care. Paul's frantic, but I don't give a shit. Oh, and Ingrid wants me to tell you that she made us all bracelets.
Ingrid : No, I said we should wait.
Malcolm : I thought you asked me to tell them. Anyways, I got Knicks colours.
Ingrid : They're not Knicks colours!
Margot : It's beautiful, Ingrid.
Ingrid : Where's your dad and Josh?
Claude : They might come later.
Margot : Josh's spring break is next week, and then Jim teaches through Friday. Then he opens the house in Vermont on the weekend.
Malcolm : It means a lot to Pauline that you came.
Margot : Good.
Malcolm : [swerving to avoid a car] Holy Jesus! Watch it, dicksack! God! If you're wondering about the mustache...
Margot : No, I wasn't.
Malcolm : I had a full beard for a while, and then when I shaved it I left this part for last, you know, to see how it looked. And... it's meant to be funny.
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Pauline : I was dating that guy Horace back then. Do you remember him?
Margot : Was that the guy who liked to rough you up?
Pauline : No, that was our dad.
Margot : Our dad used to strip down to his skivvies and beat us with a belt.
Malcolm : That man had a sexual screw loose.
Pauline : That's awful, that stuff that happens to kids. Malcolm was fondled by a male babysitter.
Malcolm : Just use that information however you want.
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Pauline : Margot told Claude something I expressly told her in confidence, and he told Ingrid. I'm stunned that she put me in this position. It's so fucking infuriating!
Malcolm : Well, it's one of those things...
Pauline : Don't say anything, OK? You know what, just be there for me, silently.
Malcolm : OK.
Pauline : Why do I have to be so careful around her, but everyone is allowed to make fun of me?
Malcolm : I don't think...
Pauline : Malcolm, what did I just say? I just need you to take my side. I don't need you to make it better. Ingrid's really upset. Fuck, I can't believe she put me in this position! I didn't tell you before because I didn't want you to feel like you had to marry me. I found out right before our seminar that I'm pregnant.
Malcolm : Uh-huh.
Pauline : Well? Does that sound good to you?
Malcolm : I'm still digesting Margot telling Claude. What a fucking nutjob. Sorry. I think I'm really happy.
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Malcolm : [Margot turns around; startled by Malcolm's presence] Sorry. I'm here.
Margot : I didn't see you.
Malcolm : I'm just writing my vows. I'm trying to do something appropriate but also funny. Not jokey, more character-based humour. You having an OK time?
Margot : Yeah, besides Wizard getting out.
Malcolm : Yeah. We'll find him. Or else, I don't know.
Margot : We won't.
Malcolm : Right. Or else, he's dead or something. It means a lot to Paul that you came.
Margot : Yeah.
