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Franki can't save a Viv Thomas stinker
Listed as a TV series (unlikely) in IMDb, I saw "Sordid Secrets" via a Spice Studios DVD released in America as one of dozens of British productions dumped in the U.S. under that banner. It's terrible.
Frank Major is the stolid lead, narrating how he moved abroad (from England it is assumed) with beautiful wife Franki, but the oomph has gone out of their sex life. With poor continuity, we're treated to a series of vignettes illustrating infidelity on both their parts, which way-way overrated Brit Porn director Viv Thomas strings together in the lamest of ways. Two segments merely have Franki, the only player apparently fluent in English and actually speaking, announcing she's off to yoga class or off to Tai Chi, so that we can then watch some unrelated b.s. sex.
The idyllic, summer vacation Portugal locations are wasted, as only Franki makes any impression. James Brossman is uncredited in a three-way scene and it would be hard to conjure up a less interesting protagonist than Major's. Only redeeming (hardly) feature here is Franki once again so closely resembling the iconic Horror Movie actress Barbara Steele here that one wishes some mainstream casting director had given her a shot at the big time.
Frank Major is the stolid lead, narrating how he moved abroad (from England it is assumed) with beautiful wife Franki, but the oomph has gone out of their sex life. With poor continuity, we're treated to a series of vignettes illustrating infidelity on both their parts, which way-way overrated Brit Porn director Viv Thomas strings together in the lamest of ways. Two segments merely have Franki, the only player apparently fluent in English and actually speaking, announcing she's off to yoga class or off to Tai Chi, so that we can then watch some unrelated b.s. sex.
The idyllic, summer vacation Portugal locations are wasted, as only Franki makes any impression. James Brossman is uncredited in a three-way scene and it would be hard to conjure up a less interesting protagonist than Major's. Only redeeming (hardly) feature here is Franki once again so closely resembling the iconic Horror Movie actress Barbara Steele here that one wishes some mainstream casting director had given her a shot at the big time.
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- lor_
- Feb 14, 2017
Details
- Runtime1 hour 53 minutes
- Color
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