The Simpsons (TV Series)

Homer Alone (1992)

Dan Castellaneta: Homer Simpson, Marty, Arnie Pie, Krusty the Clown, Mayor Quimby, 'R' Movie Announcer, Gregory, Shakespeare Fried Chicken Commercial Singer, Barney Gumble, Squeaky-Voiced Teen

Quotes 

• [as Marge is on her way home, Homer tries to think how to tell her Maggie has wandered away] 

  Homer Simpson : Marge, Maggie was very young. It's not like we got so attached to her... NO!

• Chief Wiggum : Don't you worry, Mr. Mayor. This little bird will be crackin' rocks by the end of the week.

  Mayor Quimby : Wiggum, you glorified night watchman, let her go!

  Chief Wiggum : But... she broke the law.

  Mayor Quimby : Thanks for the civics lesson. Now listen me: if Marge Simpson goes to jail, I can kiss the chick vote goodbye. And if I go down, you're gonna break my fall!

  Chief Wiggum : Word to the wise, Quimby: don't write checks your butt can't cash.

  Mayor Quimby : Hear me loud and clear, Wiggum: you bite me, I'll bite back!

  Chief Wiggum : You talk the talk, Quimby, but do you walk the walk?

• Kent Brockman : Hello, this is Kent Brockman, reporting to you live from Arnie Pie's traffic copter. But let me assure you that this is no mere morning traffic report...

  Arnie Pie : Hey!

  Kent Brockman : Face the facts, Arnie.

• Barney Gumble : [while holding Maggie]  Whoa! Someone smells stinky!

  [sniffs the air] 

  Barney Gumble : Oh, it's me.

• [as Marge train pulls away] 

  Marge Simpson : Goodbye, Homie.

  Homer Simpson : [running after her]  Goodbye? Where's my clean underwear?

  Marge Simpson : Check the dryer!

  Homer Simpson : How often should I change Maggie?

  Marge Simpson : Whenever she needs it!

  Homer Simpson : Marge, Marge! How do I use the pressure cooker!

  Marge Simpson : Don't!

• [Marge has had a nervous breakdown and parked her car in the middle of a bridge. Homer comes rushing up] 

  Homer Simpson : Let me through, let me through! I'm her husband!

  Eddie : Well, that explains a lot.

  [he and Lou laugh, then sigh] 

• [last lines; Marge is home after taking a vacation by herself, and the house nearly went to pieces without her] 

  Marge Simpson : And from now on, I hope you'll to help out a little more than you're used to.

  Homer Simpson : You got it, sweet heart. Do you have enough blanket there?

  Marge Simpson : Well, I could use a little more. And sometimes I want a little time to myself. and I expect you to help.

  Bart : Mom?

  [Widen to show that Bart, Lisa, and Maggie are sharing the bed with Homer and Marge] 

  Bart : I think I speak for everyone in this bed when I say you have nothing to worry about. Now let's just try to get a little shut-eye, huh?

  [He turns out the light. The whole family lets out a sigh. Marge and Homer's eyes close, then Bart and Lisa's. Finally, Maggie's eyes droop, and close]