Hannah Pearson: Dad's coming and he's mad.

Tom Pearson: With who?

Hannah PearsonStuart Pearson: Tom!

Tom Pearson: You told my Dad YOU'D fix it.

Ricky Dillman: I told your dad a lot of things. Like, my car broke down, my parents own a lakehouse, I'm 18.

Tom Pearson: You're not a senior?

Ricky Dillman: Not in high school.

Ricky Dillman: [to Bethany, under control of the aliens] Step away, hormonal female!

Stuart Pearson: If you're smart enough to hack into the school's computer, you're smart enough to pass math.

Lee Pearson: [after the aliens turned off the gravity] What the...

Jake Pearson: What's happening?

Art Pearson: Why are we floating?

Lee Pearson: They turned off the gravity, like in Halo!

Art Pearson: This isn't Xbox, Lee. It's real! - Like Wii!

Hannah Pearson: Sockmonkey!

Bethany Pearson: This is so not happening.

Bethany Pearson: One word and you're dead.

Tom Pearson: Are you crazy? If dad catches you, kill you.

Bethany Pearson: Dad is not going to catch me.

Stuart Pearson: I was a brainiac. It worked for me.

Tom Pearson: I don't want to be like *you*, I want to be cool!

Stuart Pearson: I'm sorry honey, I can't remember, do you want cheese on your burger?

Bethany Pearson: No, I want to find whoever invent love and hack them up with a machete.

Jake Pearson: You're gonna need a bigger potato.

Tom Pearson: Hannah, please next time you ride in the hump, remember?

Hannah Pearson: I barf in the middle, remember?